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yeah i typically feel just apathetic lately. perhaps it’s because im transitioning from college to school, perhaps i just need someone, i dunno. but yeah, apathy is my current norm rn.
May 31, 2025
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I have the feminine urge to just pull my hair and roll up in a ball and cry and maybe catch on fire if I have the time too.
I'm not sure why but this month, though short, has been so awful. I'm actually feeling the academic stress creeping onto me, holding me in it's grasp like a vice. I can't focus, I can't sleep no matter how much I want to or how much I try. Being a junior everything just feels so real now.
I've lost my passion to learn more, to explore things and to actually give a damn about what I like. French for instance has become a nuisance, a pile of work just building rapidly which sucks because I've always loved that subject.
Math has always and will keep being my demise, never being my strong suit. I've genuinely started trying to learn but it's just so confusing and hard to keep up with. Core is another subject where I've lost all creativity, making me feel asnif my writing is inferior to everyone else's, and it's because of this class I feel so much pressure to always be great and go above and beyond.
I hate feeling like this, I don't want to fail.
Genuinely the greatest mystery to me is how peers who pick up many sports, extracurriculars, go home late, to to bed late, can ace their classes and be so cheery? Like can I please know your secret? How do they do it?
I've lost all motivation to do anything, and because of this I feel so utterly lost.
I'm not sure why but this month, though short, has been so awful. I'm actually feeling the academic stress creeping onto me, holding me in it's grasp like a vice. I can't focus, I can't sleep no matter how much I want to or how much I try. Being a junior everything just feels so real now.
I've lost my passion to learn more, to explore things and to actually give a damn about what I like. French for instance has become a nuisance, a pile of work just building rapidly which sucks because I've always loved that subject.
Math has always and will keep being my demise, never being my strong suit. I've genuinely started trying to learn but it's just so confusing and hard to keep up with. Core is another subject where I've lost all creativity, making me feel asnif my writing is inferior to everyone else's, and it's because of this class I feel so much pressure to always be great and go above and beyond.
I hate feeling like this, I don't want to fail.
Genuinely the greatest mystery to me is how peers who pick up many sports, extracurriculars, go home late, to to bed late, can ace their classes and be so cheery? Like can I please know your secret? How do they do it?
I've lost all motivation to do anything, and because of this I feel so utterly lost.
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🧠I realized recently that I haven’t felt sincere passion for anything since I was like.. maybe 12 or 13 years old. I don’t really feel joy or excitement when it comes to doing the things I like or care about. I sometimes feel satisfaction from doing tasks, and if I force myself to do a little art project I might feel content, but nothing motivates me— I don’t feel any drive or spark to do the things that used to bring me joy.
I do also think this is compounded by my use of social media and devices. I’m so used to the instant gratification and dopamine rushes my brain gets from instagram and twitter and dating apps that I don’t feel compelled to put the work into a long-term project or something that would engage me. The payoff doesn’t feel worth it in the moment, so I procrastinate and procrastinate until the thoughts themselves dissipate. Why work my brain when I can sit in bed all day and consume media, especially if it doesn’t demand anything from me!
Anyway, truth be told, I’m embarrassed by my rotted brain. I‘m embarrassed that I don’t feel the desire to get up and do stuff. I see people around me doing what they love and loving it, and I feel immense sorrow. I feel empty and alone most of the time. I wonder if this is an epidemic in our generation or if it’s just me. #Commentdownbelowwhatuthink.
I do also think this is compounded by my use of social media and devices. I’m so used to the instant gratification and dopamine rushes my brain gets from instagram and twitter and dating apps that I don’t feel compelled to put the work into a long-term project or something that would engage me. The payoff doesn’t feel worth it in the moment, so I procrastinate and procrastinate until the thoughts themselves dissipate. Why work my brain when I can sit in bed all day and consume media, especially if it doesn’t demand anything from me!
Anyway, truth be told, I’m embarrassed by my rotted brain. I‘m embarrassed that I don’t feel the desire to get up and do stuff. I see people around me doing what they love and loving it, and I feel immense sorrow. I feel empty and alone most of the time. I wonder if this is an epidemic in our generation or if it’s just me. #Commentdownbelowwhatuthink.
Jul 11, 2025
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😵i don’t know what i want to do with my life and i feel like im behind wherever i need to currently be — and the worst part is i don’t know where im meant to be
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😃my face is also quite sensitive but it does have the 2% salicylic acid so it may or may not work out. it does foam though.
i also use moisturizer and anti-inflammatory products which helps with the sensitivity so really it depends. hope this helps!
i also use moisturizer and anti-inflammatory products which helps with the sensitivity so really it depends. hope this helps!
May 31, 2025
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because they all be singing. and chilling, and you can collect and decorate everything.
i don’t care if art doesnt go here but here i go anyway.
insta is @ lapislumine if ya want more ig
i don’t care if art doesnt go here but here i go anyway.
insta is @ lapislumine if ya want more ig
Jun 7, 2025
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😃if you really love sci-fi and fantasy, id totally recommend watching season 1 and 2 of Andor. it’s honestly just really good and it ties in lots of Star Wars lore so well. i was honestly so shocked to see it end up so good. also it has K2SO! whats there more to love :3
May 31, 2025