Rec
💫
I have the feminine urge to just pull my hair and roll up in a ball and cry and maybe catch on fire if I have the time too.
I'm not sure why but this month, though short, has been so awful. I'm actually feeling the academic stress creeping onto me, holding me in it's grasp like a vice. I can't focus, I can't sleep no matter how much I want to or how much I try. Being a junior everything just feels so real now.
I've lost my passion to learn more, to explore things and to actually give a damn about what I like. French for instance has become a nuisance, a pile of work just building rapidly which sucks because I've always loved that subject.
Math has always and will keep being my demise, never being my strong suit. I've genuinely started trying to learn but it's just so confusing and hard to keep up with. Core is another subject where I've lost all creativity, making me feel asnif my writing is inferior to everyone else's, and it's because of this class I feel so much pressure to always be great and go above and beyond.
I hate feeling like this, I don't want to fail.
Genuinely the greatest mystery to me is how peers who pick up many sports, extracurriculars, go home late, to to bed late, can ace their classes and be so cheery? Like can I please know your secret? How do they do it?
I've lost all motivation to do anything, and because of this I feel so utterly lost.
I'm not sure why but this month, though short, has been so awful. I'm actually feeling the academic stress creeping onto me, holding me in it's grasp like a vice. I can't focus, I can't sleep no matter how much I want to or how much I try. Being a junior everything just feels so real now.
I've lost my passion to learn more, to explore things and to actually give a damn about what I like. French for instance has become a nuisance, a pile of work just building rapidly which sucks because I've always loved that subject.
Math has always and will keep being my demise, never being my strong suit. I've genuinely started trying to learn but it's just so confusing and hard to keep up with. Core is another subject where I've lost all creativity, making me feel asnif my writing is inferior to everyone else's, and it's because of this class I feel so much pressure to always be great and go above and beyond.
I hate feeling like this, I don't want to fail.
Genuinely the greatest mystery to me is how peers who pick up many sports, extracurriculars, go home late, to to bed late, can ace their classes and be so cheery? Like can I please know your secret? How do they do it?
I've lost all motivation to do anything, and because of this I feel so utterly lost.
Apr 8, 2025
Related Recs
Rec
Currently I am finding it rather difficult to find myself in this world and what I want to do. Being 21 and in college really puts a lot of pressure on you when your peers are entering their last year at university. I’ve never known what I want to do, i’ve never had a lifelong dream of becoming something. I never had that feeling. Out of high school I had no idea what to do with my life so i copied another persons life instead of taking my own route. I realized then this is never a good idea you should always be yourself. The issue is I don’t know myself, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t know what I want to become career wise. I have many lifelong goals and plans for my future like getting married, starting a family, and moving to a beautiful house preferably outside of lakeway it’s just the roadblock of how I’m gonna do all of that. Career and money really puts a lingering constant pressure on me and it is genuinely one of the worst feelings in the world. Seeing your peers grow up and get internships and jobs and opportunities when you have no clue whatsoever what you want to do is rough. I do believe somewhere in my mind that I will randomly find a calling or a passion and turn that into a well paying career. But for now i’m stuck.
Apr 19, 2025
Rec
🧠I realized recently that I haven’t felt sincere passion for anything since I was like.. maybe 12 or 13 years old. I don’t really feel joy or excitement when it comes to doing the things I like or care about. I sometimes feel satisfaction from doing tasks, and if I force myself to do a little art project I might feel content, but nothing motivates me— I don’t feel any drive or spark to do the things that used to bring me joy.
I do also think this is compounded by my use of social media and devices. I’m so used to the instant gratification and dopamine rushes my brain gets from instagram and twitter and dating apps that I don’t feel compelled to put the work into a long-term project or something that would engage me. The payoff doesn’t feel worth it in the moment, so I procrastinate and procrastinate until the thoughts themselves dissipate. Why work my brain when I can sit in bed all day and consume media, especially if it doesn’t demand anything from me!
Anyway, truth be told, I’m embarrassed by my rotted brain. I‘m embarrassed that I don’t feel the desire to get up and do stuff. I see people around me doing what they love and loving it, and I feel immense sorrow. I feel empty and alone most of the time. I wonder if this is an epidemic in our generation or if it’s just me. #Commentdownbelowwhatuthink.
I do also think this is compounded by my use of social media and devices. I’m so used to the instant gratification and dopamine rushes my brain gets from instagram and twitter and dating apps that I don’t feel compelled to put the work into a long-term project or something that would engage me. The payoff doesn’t feel worth it in the moment, so I procrastinate and procrastinate until the thoughts themselves dissipate. Why work my brain when I can sit in bed all day and consume media, especially if it doesn’t demand anything from me!
Anyway, truth be told, I’m embarrassed by my rotted brain. I‘m embarrassed that I don’t feel the desire to get up and do stuff. I see people around me doing what they love and loving it, and I feel immense sorrow. I feel empty and alone most of the time. I wonder if this is an epidemic in our generation or if it’s just me. #Commentdownbelowwhatuthink.
Jul 11, 2025
Rec
🩹i have been home from uni for a while over christmas break. i think about this often but i genuinely believe that uni has allowed me to grow so much as a person, to find the parts of myself that i really needed, and to understand the importance of connecting with others. and it is lovely to go home and be able to see my familiar environments in a new light based on things i have experienced at uni. but it does hurt me how easy it still is, despite all this, for me to fall back into my old habits when i am at home; being unproductive, doom scrolling, the way i can actively feel myself wasting time. i am aware that these are things that negatively impact my mood, and yet i still find myself caught up in them. i wish i understood why i do this. maybe it is the fact that i was working so hard at uni and i have simply crashed here. i have come to understand the concept of taking a real break fairly recently. but i feel as though a break should be healing. and i just wish i could read, or post on here, do things that i know will inspire me as default, instead of reverting to actions that make me feel worse. i believe i can get to that point, every day is a new day and a new chance to live it the way i want to. i am doing my best. maybe my mind is at conflict with itself; it needs a break, but also needs to feel productive, so it does neither. i am working on finding the balance. everything is a work in progress.
Dec 28, 2024
Top Recs from @emmita
Rec
I think that their story is overshadowed by other greek love (if you can even call some that) stories like Orpheus and Eurydice, Hades and Persephone, and Aphrodite and Adonis. I analyzed this piece for my art class in the first semester of junior year and am still working on it for a study; it's cool actually how something that takes seconds to admire can take hours to gain insight. Greek myths I think prove that there's a bit of human in everyone; forgiveness and redemption, power and betrayal, love and hate.
Rec
Whenever I pass by a pair of baby shoes at the store I wonder what my life will be like ten years from now. Funny that it sounds bizarre to love something that doesn't exist yet I am enamored with my future children.
I like to think that maybe love is there, just in the unborn.
Loving someone is never a waste, and the thought of loving him for the rest of my life definitely gives me the drive to work hard; if it means that my back will ache as I hunch over my desk to illustrate or animate I will bear through it with a smile. I really want to pursue art, it makes me happy and I have so many ideas.
Maybe one day I'll meet with my highschool best friend, and we will sit and chat for hours at a café. She will tell me the trajectory of her life while I show her my current work in progress and explain that love did prevail. I'll tell her about my engineer who works hard, and the two little darlings, all of which occupy my heart.
There's an idea that you shouldn't expect things to happen because life is a roller-coaster, yet I know I can accomplish my dreams with time. You shouldn't be afraid of dying, you should be afraid of not living. Why live in fear when you only live once?