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anti rec because what the fuck am i doing😭😭😭 but also i’m learning and growing in so many unforseen ways this is so complicated i love life it’s all so beautifully connected this is actually crazy
Feb 10, 2025
Related Recs
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An uncomfortable liminal space between teenage years and true adulthood. Me personally, I don’t know what the fuck I am doing but I’m trying my best. I don’t have any more time to figure out “who I am” or what I want to do. I need to do whatever it is that I need to do and if it changes, it changes. There is a pit in my stomach when I make mistakes, as if I’ve just monumentally fucked everything up. I hope I can look back and recognize that the things I struggle with now have gotten easier. That has to be the case if I keep trying. Nothing I feel is original and that is comforting.
May 24, 2025
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maybe it’s just that i’m young enough that the novelty hasn’t worn off yet but i love becoming more of an adult every year.
as a teenager i was so terrified of not being one anymore but i love being in my twenties so far. so much of it is uncomfortable and there’s so much uncertainty and still! i wouldn’t go back ever ever ever.
being alive is weird and hard and probably always will be but being alive when you have no brain development or any concept of how to do ANYTHING is especially weird and hard. i enjoy being myself so much more now than i did when i was younger; i have more perspective to weather the uncertainty better, i’m so much less insecure and preoccupied with how i come off to other people, and if i want to change my behavior or my life i have so much more freedom to do it! and i’ll only get more conscious and more interesting as i get older! how fucking cool.
also as someone who really had to grow into my features it’s a nice bonus that i’ll probably only get hotter and have better skin over the next couple of decades. nice!
Feb 13, 2025
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mirabelle! congratulations on making it to 16, having an undeveloped brain and going through puberty kinda blows. so i'm proud of you for surviving what might be the weirdest time in your life for self perception, relationships (of any kind), and mood, lols.
i'm 31 now. i'll be 32 this year so i'm twice your age! i could really like go AWFF and give you the full run down of my life story but perhaps i'll save that for another post.
i actually read this book when i was a teenager called Einstein's Dreams. it's about all these different realities where time behaves differently, it's really cool. it made me think a lot about the future! speaking of Eisntein, time is relative. so each year that passes, goes faster than the one before. 1 year of your life when you're 10 is 1/10 of your life. as you get older that fraction gets smaller and smaller and smaller. sometimes a year feels like 6 months. it's wild. i also recommend you read "4,000 weeks time management for mortals" it's not really about time management, it's about changing your perspective so you can live a life!
one thing about life that will always be true no matter what age you are is that it's always going to be messy. you can have your shit together and shit can still go awry. it's how you pick yourself up from that mess and move forward that determines the next phase/step and ultimately the rest of your life!
so your frontal lobe does not develop until your 25. your frontal lobe is responsible for basically making sure that you can move through life with a rational mind. at some point you should google "what is the frontal lobe responsible for" and then give yourself hella grace if you are struggling in some of those areas. i low key wish we didn't go to college until we were 25. you are still SO young in your 20s. i still feel like i'm 27.
when i turned 25, it was like the fog cleared and suddenly i felt calm. i wasn't so angry (still angry but just less angry) as i was when i was much younger. i had a lot to be angry about, my therapist can confirm this.
now this doesn't happen to everyone... but because i'd SEEN some shit when i was younger i have a very different perspective on relationships and the world in general. i dated a really kind, generous, giving man for 10 years from 20-30. when i turned 25 i started really questioning if i should stay in this relationship. he never gave me a huge reason to leave, it was comfortable, safe, and familiar. so i stayed. when i turned 27 things really started to shift. i learned how to properly feed myself so i didn't feel like shit all the time and so my body wouldn't break down and stop working. again, i'd seen and been through some shit as a kid. when my mood improved, i was able to really grow into myself. i started to become the person i dreamed of becoming when i was 8, 9, or 10. i wish i had had the chance to become that person as a teenager, but life doesn't always work like that. and age is dumb and life is (hopefully) long! also if anyone tries to date you that is significantly older than you before you turn 30, RUN.
i realized that most of my decisions i made in my late teens into my 20s were done because (a) i was living in survival mode and (b) i was doing what i thought i "should" be doing.
as a women and a child of shitty parents, i never learned to put myself first. i never learned how to live for joy, i never learned how to listen to my heart, mind, body, and SOUL. i started to realize i had to leave this relationship because i wasn't happy. and that was enough of a reason and arguably the most important.
now i'm rebuilding my life. but, i'm trying to be the person that when i'm 60 (god willing), i'll look back and say thank you for taking care of me and this body and also fuck yeah that's a fucking life!!! those two outcomes don't have to be mutually exclusive.
also adults don't know shit. some adults do and some adults DON'T. some adults never mature beyond middle school. i wish i was kidding. i teach middle school science so i work with kids and parents, i am a reliable source on this. learn how to identify the adults that know what they're talking about and are mature and the ones that don't.
my advice to you as a yung cherub, if i may, is
(1) find your passions and try to make a life out of those passions. or find a job that let's you pay the bills + still follow your passions on the side. this will keep you going.
(2) LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. there is a wisdom so ancient within us. it KNOWS. listen to it, nurture it, thank it.
(3) make as many friends as possible. close ones, acquaintances, party friends, friends you can vent to, friends you can go on walks with, friends you can pick up right where you left off even if you haven't seen them in years. there's this saying that stuck with me -- "we're all just walking each other home" maintaining friendships is the secret sauce that makes life so delicious. the people you keep in your heart are like the stars that light the sky as we walk each other home (corny alert). also connections RULE and can help you get to where you want to go in life! all the rest of it is pretty meaningless. 🤷🏻♀️
so yeah that's about it! i am wishing you an awesome rest of your LIFE!!!! also if you peak in high school and college that's a fucking loooooooong time to be on the decline. stay weird. be different. do you. and love big!
Apr 12, 2025
Top Recs from @huxsid
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you should not be able to give a song a "score" per-say
I mean in certain cases yea but it just stigmatizes music from being listened to because one critic just didn't like it!
i think there should be a sort of sticker system:
- gold star if you loved it
- garfield sticker if it was nice
- thumbs up if it was good
- encouraging "keep trying!" sticker if it was meh
- sad face if you didn't like it
- you decide the sticker if you hated it
2d ago
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i open it, wait for it to load (delayed gratification), swipe the top refs, like them, check out the accounts their from, might follow, see what the people i follow are posting, search up new music or something random (all on my own accord, no algorithm, no doomscrolling) find something actually cool that i bookmark/add to a list to check out (which i do check out), either leave the app satisfied or make a silly little post and then leave the app with no urge to keep scrolling or looking, happy with my time spent
Feb 10, 2025
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everyone
you have NO business over there. NOTHING good coming out of there anymore.
instead try;
- active listening
- reading a damn book
- giving a shit about other people
- finding whimsy in everyday life
Feb 10, 2025