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OH GOD, WHERE DO I EVEN START...

16 years old was a weird time for me. it was the second time in my life I came out and being trans, and I have a huge memory gap right before the tail end of being 16. it's weird that I don't remember much of it anymore. I think my biggest take away is that it hurts to let your perspectives change as you age, but you just have to let it happen if you want to grow. a lot of people you'll find in adulthood are stuck in mindsets and worldviews that form around their 20s, informed by things they vaguely remember as teens. not that there's anything wrong with it, just that I personally feel that the teenage years might be the most self aware time of your life, while simultaneously being carefree for some. life at 23 for me feels like constantly having to work backwards - why do I believe this? why do I have this bad habit? why am I struggling with this same thing over and over? I feel like you still struggle with that when you're 16, but in your 20s the layers on top of the problems begin to form. and you can't avoid them, nessecarily. it's just easier to figure out why you have certain habits and beliefs before time obscures them, even without the memory loss I have. as you control your own life fully you find it harder to get out of more intricate ruts. the reality is, that we don't know everything. 16 is a time in your life when people almost demand you start planning for your future. and there's nothing wrong with that, nessecarily. but nothing is future proof. we have to live with a grain of salt and not get too involved in things that hurt. that gets harder to do as you get older, get stuck repeating old patterns. but practicing introspection and curiousity in your late teens is a great way to keep that muscle up as you get older. because things will change - facts, ways of life, even your opportunities you have. it just pays to be humble but optimistic. also everyone's lying being an adult is pretty cool. I might be biased but I love having autonomy and a life and being taken seriously and getting older. never thought I would have any of those things. taxes suck but it's once a year and we have TurboTax now who cares. working sucks the most but it's just like going to school. you plan life around that chunk of time. only as an adult it's super flexible what you want to do. also things hurt more now than they used to already. I've started grandma-maxxing with cardigans and canes.

@flowers

2d ago

3

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I love being in my 30's

I've almost been in my 30's for 5 years and I've loved it. There's something about it that has been deepening and richening. I focus more on what matters to me, and cultive how I want my life to look. My 20's was wild and chaotic and a lot of hard inner and outer work. I still work hard, but I'm reaping the benefits of it a bit more now. I'm busy yet relaxed. I feel like I did the hard work earlier that I'm now really benefiting from. When I turned 30 I wrote out 30+ lessons that I learned. I never shared it at the time because it felt egotistical lol, but it's actually pretty good so I'll share it here! Aging is a gift!! Embrace your fully formed brain. You'll always be changing and growing, but you're entering this beautiful space where you're still young and can relate to young folks, but you have enough experience to relate to older folks too. It's a blast! Mossy Elfie's Hard Earned Lessons from her 20's 1. Laughter is truly the best medicine.  KEEP PLAYING! 2. Express love to those you love as often as possible. 3. Learning to communicate effectively is the greatest tool you can have. 4. Being upfront about how you feel may lead to getting hurt, but will 100% benefit you in the long run. 5. There are lessons in every experience.  This doesn’t excuse trauma, but can help heal it. 6. Sometimes when a therapist or someone you love calls you out on your shit, you can feel it’s untrue because it actually is, or because you’re being defensive.  Learn how to discern between the two. 7. Questioning your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs isn’t threatening, even if it feels like it.  There’s no harm- if it’s true, it’s true.  If not, you can begin to change. 8. It’s true, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important. 9. People are doing the best they can with the tools they have. 10. Listen to actions, not words.  Even good people with the best intentions have flaws, and that’s okay. 11. Everyone’s path is different, and it’s so easy to judge.  It’s a good idea to learn how to detach from that.  Let people live!!  Including yourself. 12. Even if it’s bs, having faith the universe has your back provides endless calm and a sense of being loved + protected. 13. Children and animals will heal your soul.  Volunteering at an animal shelter is always a good idea.  Seriously, go do it. 14. You don’t need to know all the steps or even have a clear end goal, but you do need a vision to work towards and the immediate next step. 15. Friends will come and go- that’s natural.  It’s okay to be sad about it.  A loss is a loss. 16. If something is consistently making you miserable, that’s a good sign it’s not for you. 17. Go towards what brings you joy, especially regarding vocation.  This doesn’t mean it won’t be stressful or annoying at times, but the main feelings should be joy + accomplishment. 18. Despite what the culture tells you there is no timeline or rule book.  Do whatever TF you want!  But!  Be healthy in that. 19. Crying, yelling, breathing, laughing, hugging all helps… a lot.  EMOTE. 20. Everyone is working on something different, but we’re all striving for balance. 21. Your body changes constantly.  I know the overarching message is to change it, but your body is a miracle.  Being alive is a miracle!  When you’re feeling down about your body, that’s a sign to give it a ton of love, NOT to try and change it. 22. Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person.  You can forgive someone and not have them in your life. 23. Everyone truly has their own individual experiences, which is equally beautiful and terrifying to me. 24. No one can be forced to change.  It only happens when they are ready.  It doesn’t matter if all the facts are known, it won’t happen until the internal shift does. 25. BREATHING will help solve every problem.  Always begin and come back to deep breaths. 26. Change and growth can be hard.  They can be really scary.  But it’s not impossible.  Everyone has the capacity to change.  27. Having empathy for others allows you to act from a space of love, even in anger.  That doesn’t mean being a doormat for people’s behavior, it just means in your anger you’re treating them with love and respect. 28. We are all ever changing, evolving beings.  The work never stops- it’s a lifelong process. 29. You have and are going to make a ton of mistakes.  You are going to hurt people.  Please forgive yourself.  No one benefits from you feeling eternally guilty, especially yourself.  Take responsibility, have remorse, learn the lesson, and let go. 30. Nothing is permanent, especially feelings and thoughts.  Soak up each moment and let it pass.  Nothing bad will last forever, but neither will the good.  It’s all an ebb and flow so, flow. 31. It’s so important to be honest with how you’ve been wounded. It’s equally important to be honest with how you’ve wounded others.  You need to heal from both. 32. Soak up and cherish every moment.  Truly, seriously.  That is what life is all about- experiences and the way you feel.  Even my worst moments, I’ll probably never feel that way again.  I treasure it all. 33. My god, life can be so hard.  Just be fucking kind to one another. 34. The darkness always fades into light.  The light always comes back.  I promise. 

@mossyelfie

Dec 3, 2024

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you’ve overcame the first step: honesty and vulnerability

you’re not in denial about your feelings! and you shouldn’t be because there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do especially because you want to change this train of thought. i’m 26, lived a very sheltered life and would probably be what may be considered a “late bloomer”. couple that with only going to community college and graduating in the midst of lockdowns, i “lost” even more of my “younger years”. when i was 21-24, i definitely let those same emotions run their course on me. i used to get pretty upset even watching coming of age movies or watching college kids go about their day to day lives. i realized i didn’t want that feeling to run my life. as harsh as it sounds, you just have to remind yourself that you cannot go back in time. you’ll waste more time wallowing than you will growing and learning and exploring, causing you to internalize these negative feelings more. go out and explore and make mistakes and make sure to surround yourself with people are accepting of the fleeting nature of life as well. also, you have so much adulthood ahead of you. 23 is not much in the grand scheme of things. i’m sure there are people 20, 30, 40+ years older than you who haven’t worked through this thought process yet and are jealous of your youth. from where i stand right now, and based off those i know who are older than me, you never really stop learning how to be an adult. all in all, there is no switch to turn off your emotions, so i know it’s easier said than done. 23 in general seems to be a rough year existentially for many, so just know you’re not alone, especially in the current cultural context. aging is a gift! so try to accept that gift gracefully by going easy on yourself.

@deardoveswings

Jul 11, 2024

Top Recs from @chronicwebuser

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not yearning

i've been seeing piffies posting about, and I myself, have experienced The Yearn. i've sat with my feelings about relationships through many seasons. i was with someone for 10 yrs, we got engaged, i broke it off. although he was an incredible person, he was not my soulmate. i've had a few relationships since then and have felt The Yearn. after being dumped this weekend i have some thoughts to ask myself when looking at dating / The Yearn. 1 -- are you seeking connection or attention? 2 -- is your relationship an excuse for you to not work on other parts of yourself you know you need to take time to face? 3 -- how are your friendships? do you have people behind you that will see you through any season? keep those people around FOREVER. maybe marry them instead.... lmao 😳 4 -- have you dated yourself? was it full of joy and love? 5 -- can you (within reason - we can NOT exist and heal with out each other) meet your own needs and care for yourself? 6 -- how honest are you with yourself? you'll only ever be able to be that honest with other people, no matter the relationship. 7 -- are you just trying to follow a story arc that you *think* you *should* follow? see link: relationship escalator my goals right now are to build up a family of people that will be with me forever! it's not a ton of people but it's enough! if i find a "soulmate" or "love of my life" along the way then like... nice 😃👍 but like that's not my GOAL. if you are young and reading this, i wish i knew in my 20s (am 31) what i am writing in this post. i g2g tho ~ ily, be well!

@chronicwebuser

Mar 17, 2025

9

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getting offline

do y’all ever think about getting off social media but then you worry about how you’ll keep in touch with your friends? i’ve been thinking about this a lot bc i wanna delete ig but it’s where i talk to some of my rly close friends. i hate that it monopolizes connection like that. but i also had this realization that like the people i follow/follow me on ig are not “friends” they’re just superficial connections. real, deep, long meaningful relationships (which i’m craving) i think do require me to get the fuck offline and take the time i was mindlessly scrolling and putting it back into myself or my friends is where i’ll see the greatest positive feedback. and being PRESENT in those relationships. i feel like this is what that book the dopamine generation is about butttttt haven’t read it yet.

@chronicwebuser

Feb 4, 2025

2

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morning window time

rly nice :)

@chronicwebuser

Mar 14, 2025