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Thinking about starting about a series about just praising and/or reviewing the stuff that I like, from music to clothes.
It was about time.

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I know it’s a fairly common thing but I’ve recently come so fond of listening to two or three songs before I go to bed. In a way that I kind of just stare at the wall and think of the day and contemplate but I can’t help but feel (I know this sounds dumb) that it’s these like end credits to a really lovely movie. Except it’s my day?!!
I dunno very dumb. I sometimes try to fall asleep with this music playing in my ears or behind my head tucked beneath the pillow so I can prolong this like climactic emotional expression to capstone the day. It always frustrates me when I eventually do have to sleep, turn the music off, and go off to dream in the quiet ambience of my room. My brain does sometimes keep the music blasting even without my earphones though which is very kind.
Music I feel justifies all these things happening in my life. As if it doesn’t hold value if the songs I listen to aren’t played. It’s like you watch a movie that you just love and sorta sit in awe as the credits roll and the music swells. That’s how I feel about my day most nights! At least lately that is. Really lovely music squeezing my brain into an appreciative analysing ritual of the day.
I’m just yapping at this point but I can definitely attribute this to always having this deep urge for my life to amount to something worth telling a story about. I watch so many amazing movies and I think it would be such a waste to have the only amazing experiences I witness come from outside my life. Soooooooooo #romanticiseyourownlife I guess??
Just felt the need to express it. I had a good wall watching session just then listening to Broken Social Scenes album ‘You Forgot It In People’ (too many bangers) and I couldn’t help but speak my mind about it :)
Feb 17, 2025
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hello!!!! it has been ~1 week (wtv). lots of things have happened. most around me know very well that i made a cover of 104 Degrees by Slaughter Beach, Dog, on saturday, the 3rd. it’s released to youtube, link here! (its all the way bottom most likely)
it for sure came out of a spontaneous burst of creative energy, one that i haven’t really had time or effort to analyze how to replicate it again because in a sense i do feel unfamiliar with my own creativity. it happens, for sure, but why this time? i stickered my guitar, and felt more inclined to play it, that’s all that i know.
on top of that, i made a “music video” for the first time ever. it’s recycled out of footage on my sony cybershot in like 600x300, mostly some i took at a park in march, that day was special to me. it was the day i had early release, with the aim of enjoying a day to myself, with full preparedness and itinerary for a specific town. i’d go to eat ramen, enjoying my own company, go to a record store, (then vintage store), visit parks, and then go home. and it was really wonderful! i had so much time left over and, throughout my walk in the park i recorded footage for just ”something.”. it revealed its title later on during my creative burst.
to be really transparent, my first thoughts for the music video was to make a slideshow of a certain thing i did at my job a lot. for the first year at my job, everytime i got water from the fountain i forced myself to take a picture of the water fountain. I dont exactly know why i did this but there are many pictures of it, i thought at some point i’d might use a quick slideshow of them in ”something.”
But quickly as i realized nature was probably a better look for the music i was covering i just switched . maybe one day you’ll see the water fountain :)
i think i did great at the cover. it inspired me a lot, and did good wonders at feeling confident in what i am creating and being public with it to other people; i made my instagram public because i began to stop caring. now many more people even people i dont follow or an followed by can read this blog! wow!
on another topic i have met someone Very changing. it is hard to disclose every feelign and emotion i have but i “re-met” them last monday and since then we have been on an incredible bond and have talke alot…. we share similar quirks and interests and just general specific thought exercises that we put ourselves through. i’ve been understood before, but sometimes certain people can get to you more than others; not to their discredit though because novelty is very importnat and this person has it!!! they are incredbblyy talented at art and just have a very creative mind in general (no glaze :p). with this new meeting, i feel like i‘m having a social life again. i’m learning to be okay with myself still, and this might feel soon, but i feel it’s for the best because i feel that i have progressed with feeling things the right way by myself. if i continue this path of self-tolerance or self-acceptance (not yet self-love, again that’s okay.), while also not being completely alone, i feel i will have a great outcome. balancing these two drives could lead to some true growth and i’m appreciative of this person coming into my life!!!! they are also very accepting of shortcomings i still have or have had in the past. it’s weird when someone new just accepts you as is because.. they don’t know who you were and weren’t there before. we’re also going to the same school which is crazy to think about!!! too much yap tbh let’s get to the music
at my last record store trip, i picked out 3 records dear to my heart; expensive but small:
LPs: Heaven or Las Vegas - Cocteau Twins Ants from Up There - Black Country, New Road
CD: Young Americans - David Bowie (JPCD)
i really was stuck this time. there were three BC,NR albums to pick from and i think i made the right choice of AFUT because of how long it is. for Forever Howlong, there is a blue and red version that i really dunno what i prefer yet; FTFT is a small record that i can get at a later date. Finding Heaven or Las Vegas was genuinely such a score on my end. normally my record store keeps stuff in shelves and crates but that day i decided to look under the top shelves and crates and at the records only shown by their bindings. then i found it!!! i dropped FTFT and committed to it. finding the David Bowie CD was really nice; i got complimented for it by the owner bc the JP label adds a lot of character; also there’s a cover of Across the Universe on it. severely enjoy all my finds.
here’s what i’m listening to currently (by album):
Sports - Modern Baseball Welcome - Slaughter Beach, Dog Gem of the West - SENTRIES (my voice is on this record, still great nonetheless)
i hope if you’re reading this, you find peace within; in moments of anytime. feeling yourself let go even for a couple of minutes is an amazing feeling that, we really do forget a lot. but i hope you find those moments more, because i am the more that time passes. until next week!
May 7, 2025
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I realised one of my main shortcomings in my musicmaking hobby is feeling confidence in structuring songs in the broadest sense. so I’ve started a book where I analyse the structural elements of songs that I find appealing.
my knowledge of theory is quite limited, and I will keep it this way because ngl it’s boring and I enjoy music as a more intuitive practice. However I am really learning a lot from this and I hope doing it will allow me to develop a personal vernacular of song structure letting me fully realise my musical ideas
Feb 23, 2025

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