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I know it’s a fairly common thing but I’ve recently come so fond of listening to two or three songs before I go to bed. In a way that I kind of just stare at the wall and think of the day and contemplate but I can’t help but feel (I know this sounds dumb) that it’s these like end credits to a really lovely movie. Except it’s my day?!! I dunno very dumb. I sometimes try to fall asleep with this music playing in my ears or behind my head tucked beneath the pillow so I can prolong this like climactic emotional expression to capstone the day. It always frustrates me when I eventually do have to sleep, turn the music off, and go off to dream in the quiet ambience of my room. My brain does sometimes keep the music blasting even without my earphones though which is very kind. Music I feel justifies all these things happening in my life. As if it doesn’t hold value if the songs I listen to aren’t played. It’s like you watch a movie that you just love and sorta sit in awe as the credits roll and the music swells. That’s how I feel about my day most nights! At least lately that is. Really lovely music squeezing my brain into an appreciative analysing ritual of the day. I’m just yapping at this point but I can definitely attribute this to always having this deep urge for my life to amount to something worth telling a story about. I watch so many amazing movies and I think it would be such a waste to have the only amazing experiences I witness come from outside my life. Soooooooooo #romanticiseyourownlife I guess?? Just felt the need to express it. I had a good wall watching session just then listening to Broken Social Scenes album ā€˜You Forgot It In People’ (too many bangers) and I couldn’t help but speak my mind about it :)
Feb 17, 2025

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Feel the same way a lot but you summed it up perfectly, the end of your day is like the end of a film. Romanticize it.
Feb 18, 2025
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there is no rhyme or reason to my taste in music. when i say i listen to everything, i mean EVERYTHING i am in no way, shape, or form good at music analysis. this is all based purely on vibes. i like music. how much do i need to explain? -CurrentsĀ by Tame Impala the entire album. this is me getting into the psychedelic, dance type beat. and i really like it. it’s different but still similar to the pop that i typically enjoy. my favorites off the album are ā€œMomentsā€, ā€œLet It Happenā€, ā€œCause I’m A Manā€, and ā€œThe Less I Know The Betterā€. despite being this funky synth stuff, it’s all still super depressing. the lyrics are just like that. and as someone who has been deeply in her feels recently, this is exactly what i need. and on a similar note, -ā€œBorderlineā€ by Tame Impala same gist asĀ Currents. except this song is more about the stoner stuff (which i am not) but it’s still a bop. i love the funk i love the synth i love the lyrics and the overall vibe. -ā€œHere With Meā€ by d4vd i think i found this one off of some indie playlist Spotify made (yes i know it’s also a TikTok song). but i really like it. it’s the perfect song to belt out and be sad i don’t have a partner to. it’s just one of those songs that hits you in the feels. and, again, lots of feels are happening lately. and with this one, i’ve got this crush i can’t shake, and this song definitely does not help it. but i still love to sing it and be delusional.Ā  lol so i posted this song on my Instagram note and my best friend replies ā€œooooh who is this about?ā€ and i go ā€œno one unfortunately i just like the song šŸ˜­ā€ and her response is just ā€œšŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ā€ -ā€œ(I Can’t Get No) Satisfactionā€ by The Rolling Stones i play two The Rolling Stones songs and now my mom won’t stop calling me an ā€˜old soul’. but its among The Rolling Stones’ most popular songs, like?Ā  but still, i like the older rock stuff like this. the guitar and the bass and the drums and the tambourine and the vocals are just peak.Ā  granted i can’t really relate to the sexual frustration and commercialism, but do i really need to in order to like the song? -ā€œAll Starā€ by Smash Mouth slightly out of left field with this one, but as i said, my taste in music is all over the place.Ā  we all know and love the alternative rock and power punk (yes i stole this right from Wikipedia) of the song. and this song ofc was part of my recent Smash Mouth binge… but outside of the memes, this song is a bop. everything just works. it’s great. i have no idea what the hell im saying cuz im shit at musical analysis but I LIKE THE SONG. DO I HAVE TO SAY WHY. WE ALL LIKE THE SONG SO WHY SHOULD I EXPLAIN WHEN THERES NO POINT ok rant over. lol i like music. i listen to a lot of it. and this all is kinda just to expose my music tastes because honestly, i have a pretty good taste in music if i do say so myself.Ā 
May 8, 2025
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Growing up, my parents were divorced, so every other Friday my dad would pick up my sister and me, and we’d spend the evening shuttling back and forth between their houses—about an hour each way. He had a Sirius XM subscription, so the car rides were full of 70s on 7 and 80s on 8. He could hear the first few chords of a song and immediately dive into how it was made, the backstory behind it, or some random trivia about the artists. I still think about him explaining the story behind Crosby, Stills & Nash’s ā€œJust a Song Before I Goā€ or Eddie Van Halen’s solo on Michael Jackson’s ā€œBeat It.ā€ It was such a fun way to think about music—not just as music, but sometimes as these tiny, collaborative moments of magic. Not all the stories were fun, but they were always meaningful. Like today—I was listening to Fiona Apple’s Extraordinary Machine, most of it for the first time. I now have this habit of reading reviews and learning about how an album was made after I listen—probably because of my dad being such a huge music nerd. This time, it led me down a rabbit hole about her partnership with Jon Brion, the fight with her label Epic Records over its release, and all the b-sides/unreleased music and lore that I wasn’t expecting. It’s like discovering a missing piece to a larger cultural puzzle—context that deepens your understanding and appreciation, even if it isn’t necessary to enjoy the music. 😌
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Sometimes it’s scales or arpeggios, sometimes it’s whatever music I like and have listened to recently or in the past, sometimes it’s whatever pop song of the moment I’ve been unfortunate enough to be exposed to like a disease. When I started writing this it was part of Cheap Thrills by Sia and as I continued that stopped and now it’s a scale in thirds (don’t ask me in what key it’s been a while since I played music). My inner monologue also rarely shuts up and can be repetitive so it could be a list of things I need to do, observations, recurrent anxieties or fixations, or thinking about some kind of a problem I’m working on as some examples, and those can all be concurrent in kind of a jumbled layered mess depending on how good I’ve been at practicing mindfulness and containment lol. The more I externalize those running thoughts into notes, the less clutter they take up in my brain…
Oct 30, 2024

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I’ve had this issue for a while where I’m in this situation where it’s either a group setting and or one on one where I can never seem to say the right things. I’m sure it’s very common but it’s so frustrating! Like no matter how hard I try everything that leaves my mouth seems to come from a place of trying to draw a reaction instead of a thought. It’s my mouth being evil and talking for me. I feel it comes out most in settings where there is a new person or someone cool but you can’t address them as you are in a group. Whether that be someone who you don’t know much about but are curious about, or someone you have once had a good conversation with but now are burdened to accomodate smaller conversation bursts and light quips because groups are to share conversations not really divide into multiple? I dunno maybe it’s me being silly, I just get agitated by meaningless joking that never falls into a more hearty conversation. It’s like conversational edging AGGHHH. It’s like having this totally awesome sandwich in front of you but only being allowed to have one bite every 20 minutes And it’s also like the being perceived of it? Like if someone does break off into a side convo it’s always ā€œhmmm what are they talking aboutā€. I always come out of situations like this feeling so lame because I was the funny quip guy for the night and not the damn I learnt so many cool stories off that guy guy. Can’t a man yearn a yap DAYUM
Feb 20, 2025
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I’ve always had this fascination to emotion as a concept. Of course because everyone feels it every day of their life, but more of how encapsulating it can be. I watch films and hear stories and listen to songs and I come to find myself jealous? Jealous of how pure and raw others experiences are. Why can’t I feel the agony of losing someone, why can’t I feel the devastation of a death, why can’t I lose a friend. It sounds so starkly idiotic because why would anyone want to feel such devastating things, and I’ve asked myself this a lot, part of me thinks it’ll draw more stories to tell in my life, but I think the truth of the matter is that to live is to feel. And I really want to live my life for all that it can bring me. I write all this not to distract myself from the reality that I have in fact felt such great pain in my life. However, I always lust for more. This also feels like such a blatant explanation for my love of movies, I always feel so drawn into my love for film for it’s ability to snatch my mind away from my life and place it into another’s. My favourite films are those that have made me cry, because as painful as it is I just can’t help but love it. My favourite film is common knowledge but Call Me by Your Name draws me into such a chokehold each time I watch it because of the devastation I feel upon every watch. I never rewatch films but with it I can’t help it, because it always and forever will make me catatonic. Anyways, I am leaving my point, my point is I am currently in a swarm of emotions from my own life and it is everything I have prayed and asked for while also not being it at all. I feel such an irresistible compulsion to break down and cry, and then I do, but I find myself listening to music and reading texts that only encourage and swell the emotional climax of these tears. In moments where I find myself urged to move on for the betterment of my day, all I can help but think about is someone I care so deeply for moving away. However, is it immature to want to move on? Why must I shun myself from these emotions. After all despite how painful it is, I find myself searching for this pain again and again. Because to yearn is to be in pain, and to be in pain is to feel, and to feel is to live.
Mar 3, 2025
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I have decided to do a track of the day. Not every day. But days where a specific song makes me go UGHHHH. And today! It is The Moon by The Microphones This song always tickles my brain in an existential but calming way. Would 10/10 recommend!!!
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