i'm about to enter my final year as a teenager in a few months but just overall i'd say all the decisions i've had to make
where i am i'm officially an adult cause our legal age is 18 but yeah being in my second year of uni trying to figure out where i wanna go with my life what direction i want to take and then trying to figure life out with my friends and doing the most just so i can see them it finally feels like we're all adulting and going our separate ways in life and it hasn't really set in yet cause
i just wanna be a kid and do nothing but sleep all day lol but it is what it is
we move on and embrace all these new things coming with being legal/an "adult"
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i honestly haven’t really put real hard thoughts to this but the other night at the porter robinson show, he had this transition where the screen asked questions such as “do you remember what your baby teeth felt like” and “when was the last time you hugged your mom,” and i stood there realizing i don’t really experience nostalgia in that sense, and i don’t really process the passing of time in that sense, but it did make me realize i‘m way, way older now
besides the obvious things such as noticing your parents getting older, i think this year i finally felt it for real. whether it‘s younger friends pointing out that i‘m 25 and their tone just sounded like they’re scared of that number (haha), or me catching up with my older friends and they are telling me about their plans and wishes about turning 30
it’s the act of having to be responsible for yourself, really really having to do that this time, and having to plan ahead despite i’ve always just lived life as it stands—and how much i’m struggling to do it. how frustrating it is to face the problems i’ve been running away from and still having no idea how to fix them, but just knowing that i’ll have to, that really feels like growing up
anyway this is too long✌🏼
Sep 13, 2024
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yesterday i went to work, after work i went to the gym, after the gym i filled my car with petrol, i then went home, made dinner, had a shower, and then tucked myself into bed.
all by myself. no parent to drive me around or make me dinner. no parent to financially support me. just me going to work so i can fund my life while also trying to fit in things that will make me a functional member of society.
no goodnight kiss on the forehead. just me alone, being an adult.
some days don’t feel real, and it’s the days when i realise i really have grown up and now have actual responsibilities.
where did the time go
Feb 18, 2025
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and this has been the most difficult year of my life 2 date. but hey. i am stronger for it. i'm lucky to have found who i can count on and i'm learning to do what makes my soul happy. after school in may 2023 i moved back home to NYC and while parts of that felt like a homecoming i also felt spit out into the World directionless and freaked. but i've been finding my sea legs and keep reminding myself this is the widest breadth of life i've ever lived. young adulthood is wack which simply builds character.
21 taught me that EVERY PAINFUL EXPERIENCE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO DIG INWARD. as i approach the end of this year, i can say i truly know myself.
happy almost (?) birthday <3
Jun 11, 2024
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it’s just so fun being extra and going crazy when interacting with them and always brings about a laugh which is so fun
Mar 22, 2025
3d ago
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my baby cousin was lying on the floor, saw my face then cried
we love life
Mar 15, 2025