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they are facing aging alone in a world that is built for the young. they have stories to share and oftentimes no one to share them with. show them grace (remember the world has changed immensely since they were young), and have a cup of tea.
i read the my brilliant friend series 6 years ago and a few quotes hit me like a ton of bricks and have been living in the notes app since then:
"the world has changed tremendously and belongs more and more to them, less and less to me..."
"Now I was distressed that nothing of me would endure through time..."
"Unlike stories, real life, when it has passed, inclined towards obscurity, not clarity."
Feb 12, 2025
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the cruelty that is the adage “youth is wasted on the young” sticks with me all the time. to be forced to watch someone you love turn into a shell of a person and not even recognize you is just the most gut ripping brutal sensation i can imagine. the irony that when this old man would make jokes to my 7 year old self, i wouldn’t understand them because i was too young and he was being a classic old british dry humour guy, and now when i make jokes to him he doesn’t understand because his brain can’t make the connections. i wish i could have one day with him on a level playing field. to thank him for everything he’s done for me and tell him i love him and know that he understands it.
hold em close everybody
May 29, 2025
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And I mean from what happened at dinner last night to way back to the roads taken, the hearts broken and the debts paid and left outstanding by our billion partial creators.
The stories are just as good as anything you could find in a bookstore, but so much more fragile. Grandma's memories are alive in her grandchildren, uncle's sadness is now more understood by his nephews than himself, but time is gnawing all everywhere forever.
Just a simple written note can be enough to revive the history in the mind and thus, make it easier to pass down.
Of course, perhaps some stories are meant to be eroded; that's for each to decide.
Apr 25, 2024
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For a good chunk of my 30 years on this Earth I’ve been helping to take care of older, sick relatives. First, my maternal grandfather who was bedridden for 4 years after a fall followed by a stroke. Then, my maternal grandmother slowly slipped into dementia until she passed on an August night a little over 2 years ago. Both lived full lives and passed peacefully. But the process of seeing them falter after knowing them as strong individuals is soul crushing.
I’m now taking care of my partner’s grandmother. While I’m not alone, this third time around of being a caretaker of a family member not directly my own confirms what I already knew: death is easier to confront than the process of dying. It’s ugly, reeks, and it is extremely hard to grapple with if you aren’t at peace with your own life.
Nevermind whatever happens at the funeral. Family members show their true colors in moments like this.
Apr 5, 2025
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i have been on a journey to untangle my tasks from my iPhone.
i'd be out in the world someplace, pull out my phone for something as menial as checking the time, or as well intentioned as capturing the moment in a pic, and immediately get sucked into texts and instagram™️ and all the virtual things happening in this tiny lil demon light box.
the goal: pull my phone out of my bag ONLY for phone things. that's texting, calling, and apps that can't be replaced
the solutions so far:
🕰️ i started with a watch (shoutout Casio) and i wear it every day. once I broke the habit of checking my phone for the time, I felt legitimately freed from something Major
📷 I bought a small digital camera to leave in my bag. the pics look better and I don’t get distracted by the virtual world when I'm trying to capture something in the now
📚 I bought a kindle. It fits in my jacket pocket (literally) and gives me something to do when I'm on the train or waiting for an appointment that isn't scrolling
I just realized so much of the time I spent on my phone was not intentional. It was a thing I was doing in between Other intentional moments. my screen time is still several hours a day (don’t get me wrong) but I think my brain has healed at least 3%.
welcoming other ideas as well💡
Sep 24, 2024
i was born a night owl and so i know what you're thinking: you'd rather roll out of bed 10 mins before your first zoom call than sacrifice ur late night scrolling BUT hear me out
Things u can do before you sit down at your desk:
‼️Shower
‼️Meditate
‼️Put a lil Outfit on
‼️Take a walk and/or Buy a latte
‼️Do an errand
‼️Move ur Body
‼️Do your dishes
‼️Read a chapter of ur book
‼️Squeeze in 1hr of Saturday every week day morning
Things this decreases:
🦺Existential dread
🦺Job-related resentment
🦺Days and weeks melting away into nothing but Emails
🦺Feelings of Impending doom
Sep 19, 2024