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MEN AND BECOMING A SYMPTOM OF THEIR SELF DEPRIVATION

ok maybe I shouldn't be so gender specific but hear me out. idk what it is but men will have exactly what they want in front of them. a cookie, a job, a woman, ANYTHING. if it comes in a way that feels slightly "too easily" to them they won't accept it. Vs: I find that most women live in an abundance mindset and are often open to receiving. And then women are taught things like "Men love bitches. Be hard to chase etc." which there's so much truth to that. Yeah, a healthy level of unavailability fosters attraction. But I think theres a deeper issue here and i'm only speaking on it because I find that I often become a symptom of a man's self deprivation. To me it seems Men feel if there's no level of aggressive struggle or hardship to get the thing they want it's either "not real" or "they can't have it because they'll lose it too fast." It makes me question if it's a level of social media's illusion of options? How we as a society accept good things that arrive to us? At what level is chasing something and fighting so relentlessly that it's "enough" for your satisfaction and sense of reward and it feels valid? shit drives me crazy. I know you guys will cook me for this opinion but curious on your take.

@courtnipoe

May 10, 2025

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???

i find this a really strange question my partner is def not a wealthy man—nor does he come from a wealthy family. my view is is that youre not broke forever if you have aspirations and plan to stick to them then lets build that life together broke means nothing if they’re your perfect person. BUT there’s the other side where if I was in the dating pool as a middle-aged woman and wanted to date around my age and met a man that was broke, How he was broke would be very dependent on whether I dated him. Was he broke because he spent all his money on medical treatments? or is he broke because he has a gambling addiction? (i guess that could somewhat apply in my current age pool) very dependant

@jilly

1d ago

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A STRANGE BALANCE

A lot of my friends (myself included) got married young; I myself locked down marriage by 22. What I’ve noticed is that when you’re married younger, you don’t get to develop into the generalized stereotypical douche bag archetypes that guys hit in their 20’s — indie sleeze ball, frat bro with allegations, overly into himself athletic dude, guy who is too niche into their hobbies, neighborhood womanizer, etc. This doesn’t mean we’re perfect, just means we missed out on what could be peak horrific boy era that you see from 21-30. What has been weird though is seeing how many guys in that age range now are leaning into the…again STEREOTYPED incel/incel adjacent persona. It’s so strange. I don’t associate myself with many of these guys but I sure do see them (and hear about them) from my friends. Tie that into the stereotype that men shouldn‘t go through therapy (for myself, inherited from a strong immigrant father who has done hard labor since 19) and you’ve got a really messed up bag of guys out there. They either are horrible humans overall, or are just oblivious to what it means to be a normal person, or are in their own headspace and don’t understand why others aren’t thinking like them, or have fallen deep into weird religious and/or political movements that pins them as the victims. In short: no, men are not okay.

@marianoleonczik

May 24, 2025

Top Recs from @2h2h99

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aging

Fear of aging leads to dying young.. figuratively and possibly literally. I have a small part of anxiety with aging but that comes from being able to retire at a “reasonable” age. I’m excited to live and learn.

@2h2h99

Feb 4, 2025

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Self integrity 2025

I believe this is what’s going to motivate me to put in the self work. If I can’t keep promises I’ve made to myself, what I say to other people can’t reach its full impact. Make a list for my days Do whats on the list Becauseeeee I love myself There was some sort of mental block but im working through it. I’m not lazy. I just couldn’t do the mundane things?? But I made the appointments and I’ve fully completed my laundry in one day. It’s as simple as just getting it done. I can do it later but than it’ll just never get done or I can put it on my day planner and get it done when I say I want to. Checking it off is satisfying. Also not overloading my day with task is important.

@2h2h99

Jan 17, 2025

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Gil SCOTT-heron

I can't pay no doctor bills But whitey's on the moon Ten years from now I'll be payin' still While whitey's on the moon Something about poetry is so timelless

@2h2h99

Dec 22, 2024