I generally enjoy being friendly. That’s how I see eye contact at that point in my life. I am extra mindful of it now that I have kids because I want to model that for them. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone tho and I project that with my energy. Eye contact is not uncomfortable for me at all. I’m pretty good at reading the vibe and skedaddling if necessary.
I have a problem tho… I can’t see anyone clearly at a certain distance. I really should wear my glasses daily, but I don’t. I just be staring then hit em with the white person smile 🙂
Since I was a kid, I’ve never been able to consistently look at ppl in the eye during conversations.
You know when you say a word too many times that it starts losing its meaning and you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore? (re: semantic satiation)
The same thing happens to me with eye contact. If I stare at someone for too long, I start losing sense of their face because I’ve been too hyper focused on looking into their eyes. And if I get too caught up in maintaining eye contact, I risk potentially losing track of what the person was even saying to begin with; which generally just comes off as me being rude/inconsiderate of the other person in the convo.
I’ve definitely gotten better at maintaining better eye contact as I’ve gotten older, but it’s still a struggle. I generally have to do a little dance with my own eyes and alternate between looking at different parts of a person’s face (or occasionally look elsewhere/fidget with something for a couple of seconds between stares) so that I’m still “looking” at them most of the time without appearing like I’m uninterested or risk losing focus on what they’re saying.
I'm a well known eye contact avoider. after my college graduation my family had a little celebration dinner with some family friends and my dad got up and made a toast. he started his speech by saying "for years we thought Nicholas was autistic because as a child he would never look you in the eye!" which was very cringe inducing but he had a point i suppose.
i've gotten better about it as i've gotten older and been more intentional with it, but there's definitely a moment where i have to override my instinct to look away. generally i find that when i get going on a topic during conversation i kinda naturally look away from the person i'm talking to, i'm a verbal processor so guess it helps me focus?
i struggle with eye contact big time and force it when i’m at work so as not to seem rude, but i have to break it constantly before i explode. even if someone is pretty to look at :( i can usually only do it with my closest friends. it makes me very sad because i enjoy connecting and interacting with people sometimes i just wish our eyeballs didn’t have to telepathically kiss when we do it. i like how cats slow blink at you as a way to break eye contact bc they Know. so strangers will not be getting a single eyeball from me.
Breaking my very thin, almost non existent air of mystery because I got a haircut I actually like, my favorite jeans fit again, it’s a full moon eclipse, 70°, and both of my kids’ birthdays are today!! MAGIC IS REAL AND I AM FULL OF LOVE! 💗 💗💗💗💗💗