Related Recs

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it’s either sporadic or very rehearsed eye contact

Since I was a kid, I’ve never been able to consistently look at ppl in the eye during conversations. You know when you say a word too many times that it starts losing its meaning and you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore? (re: semantic satiation) The same thing happens to me with eye contact. If I stare at someone for too long, I start losing sense of their face because I’ve been too hyper focused on looking into their eyes. And if I get too caught up in maintaining eye contact, I risk potentially losing track of what the person was even saying to begin with; which generally just comes off as me being rude/inconsiderate of the other person in the convo. I’ve definitely gotten better at maintaining better eye contact as I’ve gotten older, but it’s still a struggle. I generally have to do a little dance with my own eyes and alternate between looking at different parts of a person’s face (or occasionally look elsewhere/fidget with something for a couple of seconds between stares) so that I’m still “looking” at them most of the time without appearing like I’m uninterested or risk losing focus on what they’re saying.

@verygoodvalentina

Aug 8, 2024

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I like making eye contact

When I was young, I generally avoided eye contact with people, but working in a research library broke me of this habit (you can't help people at an information desk unless you look at them for clues about their needs). I usually make eye contact now just to find that person in the people sea that is not staring at their phone. I try not to be a creeper though. Just an acknowledgement that we are both taking a break from the screenlords and their algorithms for that moment.

@mustacheblues

Aug 9, 2024

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Mainly yes, but sometimes i’m just not in the mood

I generally enjoy being friendly. That’s how I see eye contact at that point in my life. I am extra mindful of it now that I have kids because I want to model that for them. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone tho and I project that with my energy. Eye contact is not uncomfortable for me at all. I’m pretty good at reading the vibe and skedaddling if necessary. I have a problem tho… I can’t see anyone clearly at a certain distance. I really should wear my glasses daily, but I don’t. I just be staring then hit em with the white person smile 🙂

@mossyelfie

Aug 8, 2024

Top Recs from @royallmonarch

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WATCHING MOVING WATER

just sit still and listen. drink it in.

@royallmonarch

5d ago

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DETACH from the algo, become an active participant in your own curation, form relationships to music, track your patterns

I consume a lot of music regularly, and a huge part of keeping a fresh diet of new listens going is having enough sources of recommendations that aren’t an algorithm that either 1) reinforces your existing listening patterns, keeping you stagnant in your tastes, or 2) platforms whoever paid enough to push their product to the top, serving you something that may not inherently be of inferior quality, but may not align with your tastes, may not be exciting beyond just being a new release, and realigns your current listening habits to be more in line with what the average user on the platform is also listening to — which socially might have benefits but which creates a homogeneity of consumption that can become bland since you’re listening to something really just because it’s the next product on the assembly line to have its public moment and not because anything about the music actually captured your attention. the current landscape of streaming is designed to keep you at an all you can eat buffet where you take what’s served to you, and as a result a lot of us have forgotten how to look at a menu and order. so what does taking a more active role in your own music curation look like? for me, it’s meant not using streaming as a primary listening platform. I mostly use my local Apple Music library on my phone that I curate with the vestigial iTunes Library framework that’s still a part of Apple Music on my laptop. probably going to find an alternative soon since apple seems to be cutting integration progressively. I like this method because it forces me to choose what to sync to the limited storage space I have, forcing me to take inventory of what I actually listen to and what I can offload. the files I get are mostly from Bandcamp or Soulseek depending on whether it’s available for purchase or entirely unavailable online (as is the case for a lot of electronic music that was on vinyl only, which is where soulseek comes in clutch). I also have freedom here to change the ID3 tags to better sort and organize, rate, change track info, and track my own listening data. Bandcamp and other music purchasing platforms are great because 1) it reshapes my relationship to music away from consumerism and back towards curation. I have to pay actual money for this thing now if I want to use it, so i’m forced to consider its value (usually i’ll stream a release first to gauge my interest). 2) having to spend money helps me to course out my meals so to speak, as i’ll buy a few releases i’ve accumulated in my cart over the month and cash out on Bandcamp Friday when 100% of my money is actually getting to the artist (TOMORROW IS BANDCAMP FRIDAY BTW!!!), and between purchases I can actually chew and savor and digest my last orders, they don’t get swept up in the deluge of new releases. my plate is full until i’m done and then I order more. also for the times of the year like now when new music isn’t coming out as regularly I take time to find older music that I would normally overlook while keeping up with new drops. currently very into early 80s/late 70s music with early digital production, kinda stuff that would evolve into synthpop and dance music. so how do you know what to order? for me, I’m getting recs through trusted curation platforms. whether it’s bandcamp daily, y’all lovely folks here on PI.FYI, friends, or most importantly musicians who I follow on socials that share their tastes through posts, stories, playlists on steaming, interviews, etc. I like this last one especially because it’s kind of like a musical game of telephone. if I like an artist and they share their interests and influences it’s like every layer in this process is stretching my palate further from the sound that I was originally interested in and into a new territory that has some shared DNA but would never have been recommended to me by an algo because there’s no shared category or label between them, only the musical influence and interpretation of it made by the artist. as an example, I was a huge Skrillex stan, he signed KOAN Sound to his label, they collab with Asa who collabs with Sorrow, Sorrow takes huge influence from Burial, Burial makes some ambient adjacent stuff and takes huge influence from 90s rave music and drum and bass and 2000s rnb, now i’m listening to Brandy - All in Me, William Basinski, Aphex Twin, none on whom would get recommended by Spotify to me from Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. LAST thing i’ll say — because in yappin about this i’m realizing how actually passionate about this subject I am: MAKE LISTS! playlists are cool, but they can flatten your music into vague categories of “vibes” and “aesthetics” and encourage picking one-off songs from artists that you never form an active audience relationship with. I make a practice of making my own year end lists of top 25 albums (plus some honorable recs and top individual songs) and keeping them in a notes doc that I regularly update and rearrange over the course of the year. this forces me to consider the actual relationship i’m forming with what i’ve ordered for myself. did I like it in the moment but it didn’t have staying power? is it slowly growing on me? it also encourages taking albums as a whole. maybe I liked one or two tracks a lot but the rest wasn't resonating. that’s ok! maybe I rank it lower but now i’ve actually taken time to consider it, it’s in my library, and maybe (quite a few cases for me) something I ranked like bottom 5 albums becomes a retroactive favorite from that year as my tastes evolve. also 25 albums to take with me from each year is really more than you'd think, i struggle sometimes to even find 25 that I formed a true connection with. I think the biggest thing the itunes era ruined that led into now is the single-ification of music, the ability to separate the hits from the deep cuts. albums are meant to be taken as a whole, and then once you've really sat with the whole you can find what actually stuck. even then I like to keep the whole around because soooo often i’ll write off a track that yeeeears later I come to love. trust the artist, they made it like they did for a reason. aaannyyyywayy TLDR: get recs organically, be more active in deciding your listening patterns, fr*cken pay artists yall, trust the artist embrace the album, really consider what you consume

@royallmonarch

Feb 29, 2024

🚲

GOING ON A SUMMER SUNSET BIKE RIDE

many treats to be had

@royallmonarch

3d ago