I feel like im always the friend to initiate plans and go out and never the friend invited out by others. over time, and especially post-covid lockdown, Iāve basically stopped trying and therefore, spend a lot of time alone š„²
Jun 29, 2024
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is it just me or does everyone realize that as you get older, you make less and less friends because you don't trust anyone but your closest friends?
i feel like it's so hard to make friends nowdays and it probably not just me who feels this way. everyone prefers to stay cozy at home, mostly watching films or smth instead of going on a coffee and a walk, people are also preoccupied with their own stuff, and rarely anyone wants to go out and have fun Āæ
idk it's kinda weird because when i used to think that i would be 18 , i would have a friend group, i wasn't thinking of having one good friend who i only see two times a year...
and i've also noticed that people are chronically online and most of them don't have a social life anyway?? it's actually sad to think because life isn't supposed to be spent on tiktok :/
i think it's time to bring back book clubs or something
or maybe i just don't have friends and needed to yap a bit š
Oct 28, 2024
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I definitely feel like this sometimes but most nights I do loveeeee being alone (in front of the TV). To answer your question, Iāve found that socialization ebbs and flows. The most regularly I was seeing all my friends is when we had standing weeknight meetups like trivia on Tuesdays, watching a show together on Wednesdays, etc. My personal sweet-spot for āspontaneousā plans is 2-4 days in advance. Iād text something like āHaving a hard week! Letās do something fun this weekendā then you can gauge from there :) Trivia is a really good one though it brings people out of the woodwork.
May 15, 2025
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I like having scheduled plans, so I always try to plan hangouts. There are some friends that flake, which bothers me; I understand that things come up, but if flaking is a regular thing, then I feel unimportant and that you're not making an effort. If a friend flakes, I expect them to put in effort in rescheduling a hangout.
I also attend community events for things I enjoy (yoga, reading, dance, etc.). Maybe friends come; maybe I go solo and meet new people. Either way, there's a social interaction.
Bc I WFH too, I've been trying to reach out to other WFH friends to see if we could WFH together. And/or WFH at a cafe (consistency probably helps - i.e. going to the same cafe rather than always changing it up) to meet other WFH peeps.
I'm still trying to find my community.
May 15, 2025
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easy: delete the apps, stop dating, consider the things you find interesting/attractive in others and just do those things yourself, hangout with friends, read a book, take a class, take a walk, drink some coffee, drink some water, visit the beach, visit a museum, go to the movies, go to the club, go to bed.
Jul 2, 2024
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reading a new friends substack and resonating so hard with her post about working to overcome her social anxiety, introversion, and shame to become more comfortable and outgoing. not only did this inspire me that i need to pick up my own substack again, but also that becoming less of a weirdo in social settings is possible for me too š¤š¼
Jul 3, 2024
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bars:
* rainbo club
* california clipper
* inner town pub
* sleeping village
* best intentions
* the hi-lo
* easy does it
* outside voices
* the owl (but only after the 2am bars close)
pizza:
* pequods
* malnatiās
(deep dish is a myth and no chicagoan actually eats that)
breakfast:
* lula cafe
*flying saucer
* middlebrow (also for lunch or dinner)
* allez cafe
* kasama
lunch/dinner:
* 90 miles cuban cafe
* club lucky
* rootstock
* all together now
* yours truly
* elske (fancy, michelin star)
i prob have more but i havenāt lived there in 3 years (plus 2 years of covid) so i havenāt experienced chicago in its full glory since 2019 š„²
Jul 2, 2024