Rec
easy: delete the apps, stop dating, consider the things you find interesting/attractive in others and just do those things yourself, hangout with friends, read a book, take a class, take a walk, drink some coffee, drink some water, visit the beach, visit a museum, go to the movies, go to the club, go to bed.
Jul 2, 2024
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hot people will see you doing these hot things just being your own hot self and theyâll be like âwow theyâre so hot I want to date themâ
Jul 2, 2024
Related Recs
Rec
â¤ď¸sometimes you gotta remind yourself why you broke up â even if they broke up with you or it wasnât mutual etc etc, theres always good reasons even if itâs just âthey dumped meâ like okay yes and do you want to be with someone who would dump you no (even if maybe it doesnât feel like that rn). Reminding yourself of the things that make you incompatible helps you 1) process and move forward 2) know what to look for in your next relationship eventually! What were the needs that you always sort of wished theyâd met? Interests you wish theyâd shared? at some point it will be good to consider all of the good things that were there so you can look for those in the Future but now isnât that time âŚ
Also: -Read a long and easy book literally give your brain a break from your thoughts (this always helps me reset) -spend time with your friends and reconnect with old ones or people you just sort of lost track of because you were in a relationship and didnât have the social time. Build up other sources of love!
Also: -Read a long and easy book literally give your brain a break from your thoughts (this always helps me reset) -spend time with your friends and reconnect with old ones or people you just sort of lost track of because you were in a relationship and didnât have the social time. Build up other sources of love!
Rec
đI saw dating (especially with apps) as just a way to gain experience and practice different relationship communication, I.e. how to draw boundaries or bring up small conflicts (used to be a nonexistent skill for me).
I set some expectations from the get go as well. I said I didnât text, and I only saw someone I was dating once per week. I had a tendency prior to become enmeshed really easy, so I was making sure I didnât fall into that same trap. It helps give time to actually get to know someone before it becomes âserious.â
Also⌠YOU are the prize of your life. As others have stated, youâre seeing if someone can fit (well enough) into your full and luscious life. Keep yourself busy with friends, family, learning, fun, hobbies.
You have an awareness already that this is a thing for you. When you notice yourself starting to go insane, PAUSE! Explore that. See how you can slow down.
I set some expectations from the get go as well. I said I didnât text, and I only saw someone I was dating once per week. I had a tendency prior to become enmeshed really easy, so I was making sure I didnât fall into that same trap. It helps give time to actually get to know someone before it becomes âserious.â
Also⌠YOU are the prize of your life. As others have stated, youâre seeing if someone can fit (well enough) into your full and luscious life. Keep yourself busy with friends, family, learning, fun, hobbies.
You have an awareness already that this is a thing for you. When you notice yourself starting to go insane, PAUSE! Explore that. See how you can slow down.
Jul 2, 2024
Rec
1ď¸Feels reallllllllly tempting following a romantic fallout to "get back out there" for several reasons: to prove (to yourself?) that you are desirable, to fill a void left by ex partner, to see if things feel different with other people, to try to comfort yourself with the knowledge that not everyone is as shitty as the last person u dated. (sidenote: spend time with the question of what it fulfills for you)
This is rarely ever the right move. At least in my experience. I've literally caused myself psychic damage by jumping back in too fast lol. As cliche as it is, the best advice I have is to spend time (LIKE, TIMEEEEE. months) "dating yourself." You will gain confidence, learn more about yourself + have space from the event that leaves you feeling like dating is so difficult right now. Time really does heal all wounds...but jumping right back into dating is like picking a scab. Fill up your cup in other ways in the meantime. Eventually, it will feel more natural/comfortable for you to ease back into dating - instead of trying to cram yourself into it and thinking that there's something wrong with you/you've sustained permanent damage because it's difficult. Your wounds won't be as fresh and you'll have a clearer picture of what you can/can't tolerate in a romantic relationship. It's hard! But u can do it! <3
This is rarely ever the right move. At least in my experience. I've literally caused myself psychic damage by jumping back in too fast lol. As cliche as it is, the best advice I have is to spend time (LIKE, TIMEEEEE. months) "dating yourself." You will gain confidence, learn more about yourself + have space from the event that leaves you feeling like dating is so difficult right now. Time really does heal all wounds...but jumping right back into dating is like picking a scab. Fill up your cup in other ways in the meantime. Eventually, it will feel more natural/comfortable for you to ease back into dating - instead of trying to cram yourself into it and thinking that there's something wrong with you/you've sustained permanent damage because it's difficult. Your wounds won't be as fresh and you'll have a clearer picture of what you can/can't tolerate in a romantic relationship. It's hard! But u can do it! <3
Apr 1, 2024
Top Recs from @normieexgirlfriend
Rec
đ¤reading a new friends substack and resonating so hard with her post about working to overcome her social anxiety, introversion, and shame to become more comfortable and outgoing. not only did this inspire me that i need to pick up my own substack again, but also that becoming less of a weirdo in social settings is possible for me too đ¤đź
Jul 3, 2024
Rec
đbars:
* rainbo club
* california clipper
* inner town pub
* sleeping village
* best intentions
* the hi-lo
* easy does it
* outside voices
* the owl (but only after the 2am bars close)
pizza:
* pequods
* malnatiâs
(deep dish is a myth and no chicagoan actually eats that)
breakfast:
* lula cafe
*flying saucer
* middlebrow (also for lunch or dinner)
* allez cafe
* kasama
lunch/dinner: * 90 miles cuban cafe * club lucky * rootstock * all together now * yours truly * elske (fancy, michelin star)
i prob have more but i havenât lived there in 3 years (plus 2 years of covid) so i havenât experienced chicago in its full glory since 2019 đĽ˛
lunch/dinner: * 90 miles cuban cafe * club lucky * rootstock * all together now * yours truly * elske (fancy, michelin star)
i prob have more but i havenât lived there in 3 years (plus 2 years of covid) so i havenât experienced chicago in its full glory since 2019 đĽ˛
Jul 2, 2024
Rec
đ(except for me, tell me everything)
tired of all your favorite spots getting overrun and unaffordable? the answer is simple: stop telling random ass people about them, and absolutely, under no circumstances, should you make a damn tiktok about it.
xx
tired of all your favorite spots getting overrun and unaffordable? the answer is simple: stop telling random ass people about them, and absolutely, under no circumstances, should you make a damn tiktok about it.
xx
Jun 30, 2024