I saw dating (especially with apps) as just a way to gain experience and practice different relationship communication, I.e. how to draw boundaries or bring up small conflicts (used to be a nonexistent skill for me).
I set some expectations from the get go as well. I said I didnât text, and I only saw someone I was dating once per week. I had a tendency prior to become enmeshed really easy, so I was making sure I didnât fall into that same trap. It helps give time to actually get to know someone before it becomes âserious.â
Also⊠YOU are the prize of your life. As others have stated, youâre seeing if someone can fit (well enough) into your full and luscious life. Keep yourself busy with friends, family, learning, fun, hobbies.
You have an awareness already that this is a thing for you. When you notice yourself starting to go insane, PAUSE! Explore that. See how you can slow down.
Jul 2, 2024
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Keep It simple, silly!
My therapist recommended when I went back into the dating world to say I donât text, and start off with only one date a week. That helped me sooo much bc I became enmeshed with people really easily. It allowed me to mentally and emotionally have space and not spend my time wrapped up in any anxiety. This also really helped weed out people who didnât respect that boundary. It gave me time to find out if we were *actually* compatible before getting too serious. I was able to keep my life, and dating as part of it. Versus allowing a relationship to just overtake my life.
My mindset was also just to have fun, try new things, and work on communication skills. If something more serious came about then great, but that wasnât the goal.
Aug 5, 2024
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Don't get me wrong, like the vast majority I would love to meet someone and build something meaningful (romantically)
but I also do that every day of my life? Why is it any different than when I do it with new and old friends? Why is it not considered valid?
connections on dating apps feel rudimentary and disposable and the people you get a chance to meet organically there's this unspoken pressure in the air to immediately define it.
Maybe its the way the world is now, maybe everyone is insecure about where they stand and want to be validated and proved that they are worthy of being loved (which is true, we all deserve to be loved wholeheartedly) but also I like taking myself out to the movies and a slow burn that borderline hurts.
I want to be able to enjoy taking my time with everything and I want to smell the flowers and inspect the crack in the wall and look at the wrinkle on someone's forehead to the point of awkwardness.
I just want to take my time :)
May 9, 2025
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This time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship thatâs ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now Iâm 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again
Some of the (many) things that worked for me:
- Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (Iâm not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think youâre ready, itâs possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever.
- On a related note, therapy was very needed!
- Start a new, group hobby where youâll see the same people each week. Not that youâll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and itâs exciting to have something new in your life that isnât tied to success on a dating app.
- Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isnât yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you youâll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it).
Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you â€ïž
Apr 1, 2024
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May 31, 2025
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Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE đ
Apr 24, 2025
In Tarot, The Fool is the first card in the Major Arcana, which represents the life cycle. These cycles we are continuously going through in our lives, not just once. The final card of the Major Arcana is The World (which I have tattooed very large on my thigh), which signifies the completion of a cycle and natural ascension into the next. We are then thrust back into the Fool, with a bit more wisdom.
The Fool as an archetype is one of joy, curiosity, spontaneity, and trust. The Fool is pure of heart, knowing that the Universe has got their back. This innate trust allows The Fool to be playful, to take risks, and truly believe everything will work out. The more we go through life and experience loss, grief, heartache, trauma, the harder it becomes to embrace this energy. Iâve found that as healing goes on, just as itâs shown in tarot, we return to this natural state of being. We start off as The Fool when we are wee little babies, and if we are lucky can return there a few cycles at a time, with more wisdom gained each time. Â
The goal of The Fool is to have positive experiences, maybe for fun, maybe to grow. There is an acceptance with The Fool, a kind of âthis is what is, how can I make this work well for me?â Everything works out for The Fool because they donât know it canât. Anything we go through in life, we can use to grow. I personally believe we all could benefit embracing the archetypal energy of The Fool a bit more. The Fool doesnât stop to worry what other people will think! The Fool does not fret about what ifâs! The Fool is in the moment!
6d ago