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This song was created in a lab to break me - sobbed when I was 5 and heard it for the first time in “The Rugrats in Paris“ movie, and now I use it to make me cry when it feels like I my Grief glands are backed up🥹
Jun 20, 2024
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📜When I first heard this song, I was 14. I found it on a 7" record from the 80's, along with a Panasonic turntable, collecting dust in the basement. I hooked it up to the stereo, my mother came home, I put it on. I remember us dancing in the living room and although the song was upbeat, she was soon crying.
"This was our song; your father's and mine." He had passed the year before.
We had a mother-and-son-night-in that night I'll never forget. Popcorn, dancing, TV, gossip. Many stories of my dad were told. In the background VH1 was playing, that channel that only plays music from 30 years ago. By chance the music video to that song came on.
Sorry for the wall of text. The music video is by no means a masterpiece, it's just deeply personal for me.
I still miss you, mom.
https://youtu.be/xvFZjo5PgG0
I still miss you, mom.
https://youtu.be/xvFZjo5PgG0
Jan 31, 2025
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This is my favorite song in the world. I remember what I was doing when I first heard it. I was making necklaces in my basement and I think this was in the summer of 2021.
Sometimes I feel like it hits too close to home because I never get over anything and I’m pretty sure I’ll be living in my parents house forever.
Despite that unfortunate reality, this song has yet to lose its magic. This song will always be my favorite.
Apr 1, 2025
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Think: driving them to the airport during rush hour, moving furniture on a summer day, (in my case, see photo) cutting away at their badly overgrown garden when you are not a gardening gal. Or painting their bedroom on a whim, replacing their windshield fluid, or wrangling their demon cat for a trip to the vet.
I read a Manrepeller article (RIP) years ago that talked about how helping friends with these tedious, unrewarding tasks is where the real work of friendship begins. You don’t get so see how they get frustrated over brunch, but you do when you’re both unsuccessfully dragging a couch around a staircase corner, and getting To bond and troubleshoot that frustration opens whole new doors for closeness. This wisdom has never led me astray! I almost always leave these kinds of labor-based hangouts feeling closer and more held in friendship!
I read a Manrepeller article (RIP) years ago that talked about how helping friends with these tedious, unrewarding tasks is where the real work of friendship begins. You don’t get so see how they get frustrated over brunch, but you do when you’re both unsuccessfully dragging a couch around a staircase corner, and getting To bond and troubleshoot that frustration opens whole new doors for closeness. This wisdom has never led me astray! I almost always leave these kinds of labor-based hangouts feeling closer and more held in friendship!
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❤️My heart goes out to you and your family, this kind of this is never easy and is generally pretty fucking terrible all around. I lost my mom in 2018 after a pretty prolonged and slow to cease battle with cancer.
When she was in end-of-life care something small that helped her feel a bit better was trying to make the space as homey as possible. Lots of pictures, her favorite blanket, and a friend of hers even brought some large stuffed animals that lived on her bed. It was something small that helped in the immediate moment.
I also echo everyone here saying to prepare for the grief but also prepare to sit with it for longer than you think you’ll need. I was only home for about a week after she passed before going back to school across the country, and not having my family/hometown network to grieve with really stunted and prolonged my healing process.
Also a bit bleak, but my mom and I were able to have a sort of ”closing” convo where we said goodbyes, and she told me her wishes for me, etc. if you’re able, it was a really powerful conversation to have and something I hold close when I’m having a particularly hard grief day (which still happen 6 years out! All part of the process)💛
When she was in end-of-life care something small that helped her feel a bit better was trying to make the space as homey as possible. Lots of pictures, her favorite blanket, and a friend of hers even brought some large stuffed animals that lived on her bed. It was something small that helped in the immediate moment.
I also echo everyone here saying to prepare for the grief but also prepare to sit with it for longer than you think you’ll need. I was only home for about a week after she passed before going back to school across the country, and not having my family/hometown network to grieve with really stunted and prolonged my healing process.
Also a bit bleak, but my mom and I were able to have a sort of ”closing” convo where we said goodbyes, and she told me her wishes for me, etc. if you’re able, it was a really powerful conversation to have and something I hold close when I’m having a particularly hard grief day (which still happen 6 years out! All part of the process)💛