i am so sorry! love is the sweetest thing! remind yourself the air you breathe in is not lost when you let it out!!! and you'll always breathe more back in. maybe sometime later you'll breathe in a puff of air you already inhaled before! such is love and its ever-present overflowing abundant nature.
my advice is to start doing new things from now that don't involve him, try not to talk to him about them at all, and try not to think of him while doing it. like a new hobby, or frequenting a new coffee shop, or volunteering somewhere, etc. it's like branching out from your current norm, creating something new and independent of the relationship, that is untouched/un-'tainted' kinda. it's like opening a new tab or window mentally. or creating new files. by the time you move away, and are going through it, you'll want a portion of your life you can resort to that is fresh and separate from the Big Sad, no matter how small. sending u hugs
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got this from the book "this is me letting you go" by heidi priebe - which i also very much recommend - but to paraphrase, she says sometimes the biggest things you miss from a relationship are needs that are no longer being met, or ways you showed up/things that were brought out of you with x person that you miss, maybe moreso than the person themselves.
So, if you always went to art shows, finding another friend to connect with over that. Or if you only showed your vulnerable side with that person, redirecting and learning how to meet those needs for vulnerability with others. If you always laughed together, maybe watch a standup special. or if they made you dinner after a long day, order takeout when it gets hard and show up for yourself. etc etc on small and large scales! this is what saved me from the hardest times.
Plus also truly time as has been said. it will ebb and flow and everything is temporary - you will feel light again when the time is right! ❤️🩹
Mar 26, 2025
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This is so hard and different for everyone, I’m 2ish years post big break up and sometimes I feel consumed with thoughts about it all, other times it’s out of my mind.
I suggest you fill your time!! I took up running, yoga, pottery, got a new job, got a cat, I try to travel, I date good amount even if I know I’m not ready for a BIG relationship I just want to keep meeting new people.
if You feel the need to talk about it but you can’t maybe try journaling or therapy? I write the worst poetry in the world whenever I can’t stop thinking of him and it gets me out of that cycle.
Love and life and heartbreak is hard and beautiful and shitty and fun!! if you’re still thinking about this person and relationship so long after, maybe you need to keep learning from it or maybe you need to cut yourself some slack!!
Mucho loveo
Oct 7, 2024
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There’s no easy answer. I was sad about my first love for two years after it ended. Tried everything. Travel, gym, throwing myself into work. I still think about her after all this time, but after a while it just stopped hurting & started to feel like an episode from someone else’s life. You Gotta make the agreement with yourself that everything that is beautiful & kind in life may one day end & transfigure into something extremely painful that can never be recovered. You just keep going & have faith that one day something even more beautiful will fly in through your window
Aug 9, 2024
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switch your location and lingo. take it outdoors, lay/sit under the sun in nature. you are no longer rotting, but instead marinating in a new May, fermenting fresh feelings, steeping in sunlight, and brewing a fresh pot of thoughts
May 7, 2024
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was obsessed w the whole series
May 7, 2024