Related Recs

🍣

Current Server Bits

These aren’t for every table, i kinda litmus test the guests in my intro to see what kind of bits they can tolerate. I ~work~ for my tips. We have a roll called the hoki poki, so anytime someone orders it i call and repeat “turn yourself around”, if the table gets a kick out of that, i’ll spin in a circle when i drop it off. Anytime someone orders the crispy rice i say “yep defffffinitely been here before” When i check the birthday guest‘s ID I say “wow it REALLY is your birthday” When i serve a couple celebrating an anniversary, i’ll ask how many years and then be like, “congrats on the love and stuff,” (very buffy coded) When a guest asks where a certain fish is from, before i tell them the real answer, ie alaskan salmon, i say “the ocean”

@weird

Aug 8, 2024

⭐

localmaxxing

the guy at the store should know you, the man running the halal truck should know your order, your barista should know your name and you should know theirs, you should have a borderline flirtatious banter going with a bartender at your favorite dive bar

@gabbylinder

Jun 14, 2024

😃

lovemuffin

one time at a warriors game my family was getting food and the cashier asked me, “and what do you want, lovemuffin?”

@shegoestoanotherschool

Mar 29, 2024

Top Recs from @paydayl0an

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French onion grilled cheese

Carmelize the damn onions in butter and beef broth. Low heat, 45 fuckin minutes. I’m not playin w you. Use gruyere cheese Make a compound butter with my girlies: thyme and rosemary and their dude garlic. Slather that butter on two pieces of sourdough. Both sides, I shouldn’t even have to tell you this. Cook up some bacon!!! Add a tomato. If you’re feeling froggy…truffle powder. Get to work.

@paydayl0an

Jan 25, 2024

⭐

My radio show about the history of african american music

It’s black history month. Support your black friends and learn the origin of like every American popular musical genre everrr. Once I’m done with the 40 + genres, we’re diving into the diasporaaaa. And then at some point I’m talking cash shit about the summer of love and what was cooler than stinky trust fund kids…I mean hippies in San Francisco... I’ll give you some hints, same time period but across the bridge in Oakland. There’s also 1980s Washington DC, fuck it even 1960s Detroit. I just really fucking hate the Grateful Dead fans. Sorry. Not sorry. Perfect listening for cleaning the house and doing art projects. Tell a friend.

@paydayl0an

Feb 2, 2024

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Cure your own lox

The price of cured salmon is as bad as gas. Let’s do it for cheap and w our own flavor profiles. It’s like really fucking easy and no work at all. 1 slab of salmon (skin on or off who cares) Equal parts sea salt and brown sugar 1:1 ratio is important you can choose how much you wanna mix up. An assortment of herbs. I like to use the following: Cayenne pepper Fresh ground rosemary Fresh ground thyme Garlic powder Black pepper Truffle salt Crushed red peppers Zest of a lemon Zest of two limes Zest of three clementines Cinnamon Allspice If you decide to keep the skin on your salmon, score the skin. This means cut long slits diagonally in the skin so that the pink meat is exposed. Don’t cut so deep that you open the other side. Mix ALL your herbs together In your salt:sugar ratio TASTE YOUR BLEND BEFORE IT GOES ON YOUR SALMON. IS IT MISSING SOMETHING? IS IT JUST RIGHT? ARE THE HERBS POPPIN? Ok good. Now you’re gonna rinse that salmon slab in water and pat her dry. Two paths here: 1. You’re gonna place that salmon on a piece of plastic wrap that is on a cookie sheet. You’re going to start covering your slab in your seasoning mix, pretend like you’re at the beach and you’re covering up your sibling in sand. Once that side is covered you’re gonna flip her over and do the other side and then you’re going to wrap that mf in that plastic wrap nice and tight so that NO seasoning or salmon is leaking out. 2. You’re gonna grab a large freezer ziploc bag and put your salmon in it. From there, you will be pouring your seasoning mixture in the freezer bag covering the entire piece of fish until you can’t see it anymore. Keep that cookie sheet handy still Bc that ziploc bag is going right on that sheet. After you’ve chosen your path, you will place the cookie sheet in your fridge w a heavy cutting board on top, pressing the salmon. If you need more weight I recommend adding some canned goods on top or more veggies that are in the fridge (maybe a Tupperware container too) Sit in your fridge for AT LEAST 24 hours. If you do this before bed, flip the salmon over the next morning and let cure for like another 8 hours. When that 24 hours is up, there will be liquid, that’s normal. Scrape all that seasoning off, scrape as much as YOU want off. This is your recipe, babe. Slice up and enjoy w a bagel, on deviled eggs, a piece of avo toast like…whatEVER the heart desires. Please keep in mind that the longer you cure the more jerky like it will become. This means super TOUGH and SALTY. If you had skin on your salmon, slice that off and use it however you want. I like to cut it in longer strips, put it over the stove till it gets semi crispy and wrap it around rice. It’s ok if there’s still some salmon meat attached. That adds to the flavor. Happy cooking, you just saved about 30 bucks and you can have lox for more than two bagels ❤️

@paydayl0an

Jan 22, 2024