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When you're not from NYC, there's a certain insecurity that never quite goes away. Like, āshould I already know how to do this?ā That was me, two years into living here, feeling semi-local at my bodega next door, but still quietly preparing in my head just to be sure.
It was late. Post Model/Actriz concert. Starving. Iām with a friend and we stop at my spot for a chopped cheese, my small badge of assimilation. Thereās a new guy working the grill, and heās mid-smoothie prep, not acknowledging me at all. Iām not sure if heās on break or justā¦ busy? So I hover. Wait. Do the classic uncertain smile-stance.
Eventually, I order. Minimal response. He starts cooking.
Then, this older woman walks in and gently asks me what to order here. Me and my friend agree, chopped cheese, no doubt. She nods, curious. We chat a little. All is well.
But then, after a few quiet minutes, she yells over from the counter asks, āHow do you order it?ā
Instead of just saying āchopped cheese on a hero, everything, picklesā like a normal person I went into an exacting breakdown of how to order food and navigate the mysterious rhythms of bodega etiquette:n āWell, first, you wait. Heāll make eye contact when heās ready. Then you state your intention clearly. Donāt rush him. Then say: chopped cheese, everything, pickles. Hero roll. But again, you have to wait for the signal.ā
I finish explaining and my friend goes: āI donāt think thatās what she meant.ā
She just wanted to know what I ordered, of course not the entire rite-of-passage for ordering food.
We all laughed. She got her order. I got my sandwich. As a non-American itās hilarious to me that I turned a simple question about what I ordered into a full-on lesson in bodega anthropology. Glad I was still helpful on her quest for the first chopped cheese.
2d ago
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Okay but as someone who does not live in a city with bodegas, i needed to read this tutorial
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i said that so smoothly and confidently and wasnāt weird at all
Mar 16, 2025
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Called in an order for the local habibi owned pizza spot when I usually DoorDash it.
I always try to write a sweet note in the special requests field on the DD app. Iāve been doing it since COVID 2020 bc working service sucks most times.
A little poem, compliments about a dish, asking them a question (sometimes they answer), or just saying have a nice day, thank you for feeding my lazy ass.
Anyways
I asked for my chicken alfredo extra saucy and he goes āHellena? Oh yeah I know your order. Do you like shrimp too?ā
āHell yeah, brother.ā
20 minutes later I had extra saucy chicken and shrimp Alfredo, a half slab of garlic bread and not one but two drinks.
Love you, Moe and your pasta.
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These arenāt for every table, i kinda litmus test the guests in my intro to see what kind of bits they can tolerate. I ~work~ for my tips.
We have a roll called the hoki poki, so anytime someone orders it i call and repeat āturn yourself aroundā, if the table gets a kick out of that, iāll spin in a circle when i drop it off.
Anytime someone orders the crispy rice i say āyep defffffinitely been here beforeā
When i check the birthday guestās ID I say āwow it REALLY is your birthdayā
When i serve a couple celebrating an anniversary, iāll ask how many years and then be like, ācongrats on the love and stuff,ā (very buffy coded)
When a guest asks where a certain fish is from, before i tell them the real answer, ie alaskan salmon, i say āthe oceanā
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