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It’s spring and the ultra-short skirt/crop top trend is about to pop off. But before you take your kitchen scissors to your wife beaters Julia Fox-style cop a pair of Gingher shears. They’re heavy and sexy and silver and used by people who actually know how to make clothes. I’ve been “customizing” my wardrobe for years but it’s only recently that my raw hem skirts and sweaters aren’t totally jagged and wonky. It’s called maturity, girls.

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I will be wearing them past their trendy phase + it made my butt look good :”0
Jun 25, 2025
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Alright boys & girls & all people, we have entered that small window in the northeast where you want to wear a long sleeve t-shirt or jacket or hoodie, but you also want to wear shorts. As the (unofficial) sovereign & all-knowing harbinger of getting cute little fits off for pi.fyi™️ (working title btw) I am approving all outfits that make this combo work for the foreseeable future. It doesn‘t even have to look good because it just feels good.
Ladies, let’s keep it classy please. Remember: modest is hottest, or something.
Boys, we’re in the 3” inseam category rn. You need to look like you’re about to run a sub-5 minute mile. You need to look like a few misteps might cause a peep show. I’m talking 75% of thighs are out on display.
You might read this and go “Wow Mariano that seems very misogynistic of you” — false, it’s reverse psychology. Keeping the creepy male gaze off of the ladies and instead giving them something to look at, like how we all have been gawking at Paul Mescal’s tiny shorts + shredded thighs combo. Don’t ever say I’m not a feminist.
(Hey this is like HEAVILY laced with sarcasm which I’m sure 80% of you will read and understand but the 20% that won’t…please it’s a joke please laugh )
Aug 22, 2024
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turn ur mini dresses into skirts! turn ur maxi dress into tops! pin your clothes! wear them the ‘wrong‘ way! clothing has no solid rules and experimenting with how they can be worn will scratch that lil itch you have when you feel like you have NOTHING. you’ll get way more use out of your closet!! currently wearing a maxi dress folded up into a top, ive also turn into into a mini dress and maxi skirt- why buy more when I have a solid piece that can turn into 4 different silhouettes and all it takes is a lil shifting and possibly a pin or two
May 1, 2024

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Investing in a good shampoo and conditioner is key when you have bleach blonde hair in recovery from blasting it with one of those round brush blow dryers the kids on TikTok like to make fun of. I don’t really believe in sustainable consumer goods but this Davines shit is amazing and it comes in “biodegradable” packaging that you can throw in the garbage instead of pretending to recycle it.
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I’m from Vancouver where the only cute thing to do is ride bikes by the ocean. During covid lockdowns, I realized you can kind of do the same thing in NYC. I like to take a Citi Bike along The East River to Battery Park, and then up to one of the west side piers if there's time. This makes for a cute date if you want to pack a picnic, but I’m usually late and lazy so I just end up going to a restaurant in the village after the sun goes down. Last time it was Genes.
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I have a full time job and live in Manhattan so thrifting isn’t an option for me, which is sad because I think the best-dressed people buy the majority of their clothes from thrift stores. Thankfully there’s Poshmark, a place where you can peruse the closets of Floridian housewives and Las Vegas showgirls from the bathtub. Pro tip: online shopping is a brain massage made better accompanied by bad TV. I recommend pairing low ball offers with the latest season of 90 Day Fiance, or Gossip Girl reruns (the original series, not the new one)—if you’d like to feel especially numb.