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but currently getting ready to go to my favorite city for the MARIAS CONCERT with my friends and i’m meeting more friends in said city!!! life is good (at the moment)
but also life is so expensive and i just got a raise so i can’t quit yet and also i need to get out of this town
but today is a good day and im gonna focus on that
but also life is so expensive and i just got a raise so i can’t quit yet and also i need to get out of this town
but today is a good day and im gonna focus on that
4d ago
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🌇I LOVE THE CITY omg i’m so excited i move so soon and i get a new space for a bunch of new stuff and it’s so awesome and its so close to work and downtown RAAAAA
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🏘my partner and i were presented with the opportunity to move into a friend’s slightly larger and more amenitied apartment up the block, but we’d have to break our lease to do so lol
listed our apartment on facebook marketplace to see if anyone was interested in signing the lease so we could move, essentially just putting out feelers and seeing what happened. did not expect to receive dozens upon dozens of messages! i scheduled tours and showed like six people around, all of whom were like where can i sign! and i called our landlord twice.
met with the landlord of the new place and got the paperwork….. truly in the final steps…. only to get home and realize, you know what,,, we’re staying here! and it was literally such a relief to say it.
did it take hundreds of messages from people begging for me to leave my apartment to truly viscerally process that i’ve got a good thing? perhaps!
but i think it was more that i had been in a scarcity mindset of like, “when we move and i have more space i’ll be able to… make the art i want; really feel at home; feel more comfortable; etc.” and when i really dug into those feelings about it, i simply knew that my home right now presents a growth opportunity to work creatively with the space i have.
didn’t want to admit to myself that i was in that space of forcing things because i initially just wanted to move so badly, i was literally bypassing my felt experience and like, true reactions.
i also felt like it fell into our laps and was this once-in-a-lifetime thing. but really trying to now reinforce that a two bedroom w a dishwasher, balcony, and some bedrooms that look out onto the neighbors’ walls is not inimitable. and i want to approach this process from a space where im resourced and generally tranquil.
so i’m happy and i’m not moving and im going to buy myself an $8 latte this morning to celebrate!!!!
listed our apartment on facebook marketplace to see if anyone was interested in signing the lease so we could move, essentially just putting out feelers and seeing what happened. did not expect to receive dozens upon dozens of messages! i scheduled tours and showed like six people around, all of whom were like where can i sign! and i called our landlord twice.
met with the landlord of the new place and got the paperwork….. truly in the final steps…. only to get home and realize, you know what,,, we’re staying here! and it was literally such a relief to say it.
did it take hundreds of messages from people begging for me to leave my apartment to truly viscerally process that i’ve got a good thing? perhaps!
but i think it was more that i had been in a scarcity mindset of like, “when we move and i have more space i’ll be able to… make the art i want; really feel at home; feel more comfortable; etc.” and when i really dug into those feelings about it, i simply knew that my home right now presents a growth opportunity to work creatively with the space i have.
didn’t want to admit to myself that i was in that space of forcing things because i initially just wanted to move so badly, i was literally bypassing my felt experience and like, true reactions.
i also felt like it fell into our laps and was this once-in-a-lifetime thing. but really trying to now reinforce that a two bedroom w a dishwasher, balcony, and some bedrooms that look out onto the neighbors’ walls is not inimitable. and i want to approach this process from a space where im resourced and generally tranquil.
so i’m happy and i’m not moving and im going to buy myself an $8 latte this morning to celebrate!!!!
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🏘Part rec, part documenting my headspace right now.
My last few moves in my city have been chaotic and unwanted, to say the least. After an incredibly stressful loss of my last apartment, I was so privileged to have been able to spend my last three years living alone for the first time in my life, healing myself and figuring out how to navigate life coming out of active survival mode.
I leave my little studio apartment in less than two weeks to move into a new place, choice I got to make for myself, and a living situation I get to plan for, rather than having been forced into.
I've always been able to make a home for myself anywhere I go, but this is the first time I get to do it because I made the choice to, not despite my circumstances.
It's feeling good!
My last few moves in my city have been chaotic and unwanted, to say the least. After an incredibly stressful loss of my last apartment, I was so privileged to have been able to spend my last three years living alone for the first time in my life, healing myself and figuring out how to navigate life coming out of active survival mode.
I leave my little studio apartment in less than two weeks to move into a new place, choice I got to make for myself, and a living situation I get to plan for, rather than having been forced into.
I've always been able to make a home for myself anywhere I go, but this is the first time I get to do it because I made the choice to, not despite my circumstances.
It's feeling good!
May 18, 2025
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❤️why am i giggling and thinking of scenarios on my lunch break looking out the window SHOOT ME too old for this shit
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