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i've been told i'm an irritatingly fast walker, especially in any crowded area. i have chronic chub rub from hauling ass anywhere i go (except driving, i'm a grandma behind the wheel). at work, i like to get shit done FAST and talk to people FAST and i like to walk around the airport FAST.
it's so silly tho too bc i always felt very slow to reach milestones as quickly as other people i know. i didn't get my driver's license until i was 19, didn't have my first kiss or relationship until well into college. i've never been to a real house party, and i've never lived away from home.
sometimes i worry that my fast pace of action is a weird way to compensate for how behind i feel in my life bc it felt like something to be ashamed of. but now, i feel more comfortable being "behind" on some of these things bc maybe that means i'm just rlly methodical about things???
it's so silly tho too bc i always felt very slow to reach milestones as quickly as other people i know. i didn't get my driver's license until i was 19, didn't have my first kiss or relationship until well into college. i've never been to a real house party, and i've never lived away from home.
sometimes i worry that my fast pace of action is a weird way to compensate for how behind i feel in my life bc it felt like something to be ashamed of. but now, i feel more comfortable being "behind" on some of these things bc maybe that means i'm just rlly methodical about things???
Jul 19, 2025
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I allow myself to move through ny life at breakneck speed in order to get to the next โthingโโ whether thats a job, life stage, relationship, goal, etc.. i have been doing this since I was 15. It wasnโt until this last summer/fall that I stopped to look around at the life I had built and fully feel everything! I enrolled in a grad program 2 years ago, at the encouragement of my partner, and this past fall I really started to see myself in this career. I feel energized by my work and research, I feel cared for by my department. I feel like a fulfilling career is awaiting me, yet I am taking the time to feel settled in my current service job and internship, careful not to rush past the mundanity and sweetness of my life now. I have everything ahead of me, truly what is my hurry?
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๐I have to be doing something with my hands or have an activity planned for myself outside of work, I am rarely just chilling by myself with my own thoughts (I call friends and family so much which is a strength but sometimes itโs just to talk and exhaust myself)
Trying to be better at savoring moments and not rushing through things but itโs physically uncomfortable for me to just do nothing sometimes
Trying to be better at savoring moments and not rushing through things but itโs physically uncomfortable for me to just do nothing sometimes
Jul 18, 2024
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๐whoops,, I get bored and overwhelmed easily. I feel like Iโm not doing enough. like life isnโt moving even when Iโm doing something but then I have to remind myself that this is in fact life.
Mar 14, 2025
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๐i'm on the precipice of the rest of my life!! i'm scared but i'll be ok and i'm ready to give the world what i've got!!!
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๐laying down very flat in bed after working my icky closing shift at my icky retail job feels so yummy. i can feel my individual spinal cords clicking back into place
