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i can very very clearly picture entire scenarios play out like film scenes or just conjure up imagery related to whatever's on my mind. but if i'm just thinking random thoughts ("i need to pay my phone bill later" "fuck my stupid life" etc) i don't see anything and just hear my own voice in my head saying it to me. for instance typing this out right now i'm hearing it all in my own voice as i write
Jun 17, 2025
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๐คI donโt really have a distinct internal monologue and def donโt hear my thoughts in my own voice- Iโm a twin and my sister does have an internal monologue in her own voice! But itโs hard to explain what shape thoughts take for me- thinking in Vibes or something ๐๐๐
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๐ฌI have a pretty constant drone of inner dialogue in my head throughout the day. It narrates every second of every day, and sometimes creeps out through my mouth especially when i'm alone. when i'm alone i start talking to the void like i'm livestreaming or vlogging. i rarely have a moment where i am not talking to myself whether inside my head or outwardly, and sometimes when my ADHD goes into overdrive and I have like multiple streams of thought going at once, I will have to focus on reeling it back into one stream of thought again (kinda like that joe rogen "it's entirely possible" meme lol).
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๐คso about half the time my "internal monologue" is my own voice giving myself instructions (ex. "ok, i have ten minutes to spare. what should i do? i think i'm gonna pull up pi.fyi and look at posts until i have to get back to work."). it's not literally me listening to my own voice because i am conceptualizing the voice much faster than i (or any human) is capable of speaking, but it definitely coherently exists in my head as a fleshy .mp3 file, and it is definitely my voice.
the other half of the time i am simulating social scenarios in my head. there are a variety of scenarios where i do this: sometimes i am actually rehearsing for a real social situation that is actually going to happen, sometimes i'm merely preparing for the possibility of a social situation, sometimes i'm trying to do a post-mortem on a situation that has already occurred so i can think about how to improve, and sometimes i'm just talking to an imaginary adversary in my head in order to find and plug holes in my worldview / philosophy etc.
adding the caveat that if i am alone (or merely think i am alone) the "internal" monologue / conversation frequently becomes an external one, and i am sometimes ambushed by my partner and / or roommates who occasionally hear me passionately arguing with an imaginary person and i've just kind of made peace with the fact that i am going to appear casually schizophrenic to anyone who catches me doing this because i genuinely believe that actively trying to rehearse conversations and arguments in advance is what helped me get over my debilitating introversion to the extent that i have
the other half of the time i am simulating social scenarios in my head. there are a variety of scenarios where i do this: sometimes i am actually rehearsing for a real social situation that is actually going to happen, sometimes i'm merely preparing for the possibility of a social situation, sometimes i'm trying to do a post-mortem on a situation that has already occurred so i can think about how to improve, and sometimes i'm just talking to an imaginary adversary in my head in order to find and plug holes in my worldview / philosophy etc.
adding the caveat that if i am alone (or merely think i am alone) the "internal" monologue / conversation frequently becomes an external one, and i am sometimes ambushed by my partner and / or roommates who occasionally hear me passionately arguing with an imaginary person and i've just kind of made peace with the fact that i am going to appear casually schizophrenic to anyone who catches me doing this because i genuinely believe that actively trying to rehearse conversations and arguments in advance is what helped me get over my debilitating introversion to the extent that i have
Oct 2, 2024
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๐กgirl math girl dinner girl hobbies. genuinely soul destroying. im not a girl im an adult woman and im a hag and a bitch and a crone
