I love to ask what people are currently “in to” - meaning current inspirations, fixations, interests, etc.
1. It’s subtle but revealing- I now know what you are interested in and get a hint at how you view life (ex. some interests can be perceived as narcissistic/surface level vs. thoughtful/curious) *Granted, not eveyone will have a good answer (or may not even be able to answer) and that will tell you all you need to know!!
2. Naturally we love to talk about ourselves and our passions so it will certainly keep the conversation going. Extra points for asking questions about what they say (maybe you’re interested, maybe you’re not- but at least it’s not awkward anymore)
17h ago
Related Recs
🫂
Look at them and notice something that they actively chose today. Easy ones are like clothes, bags, jewlery, makeup or whatever. But you’d probably have even better luck with like if they’re holding a shopping bag or a book or a cup of coffee or the keychain on their keys. idk those are just the examples I thought of. But basically that’s something intentional, so that’s something they will have thoughts/feelings/opinions on. Ask a question or make a comment that requires them to reveal that. Like a question you would want someone in your life to ask you about something that you put energy towards, yk? Like for me I always want to talk to people about books I’ve read or that theyve read. Or when Im holding a food or drink I probably could talk about why I wanted that.
But the most important part dude. Is to gauge reaction after that. If they wanna talk more then yay. If not, you gotta let it go don’t push. It’s a them thing, not a you thing.
Sep 10, 2024
bonus points if they get the reference!
extra bonus points if they don’t because then i get to dive into the full lore of this interview and my complicated feelings about azealia banks, which always makes for a fun conversation starter. i usually follow up by asking if they have a problematic fave because who doesn’t?
i’ve found you really can’t go wrong talking about things that are deeply personal like music, movies, TV, or anything tied to culture. They’re all great entry points! yes, the key is to be genuinely interested—ask questions— but also give something back (because let’s face it, sometimes you’re the one making it awkward). I think awkwardness usually comes down to trying to find a balance of reciprocity. is someone talking way too much or way too little? learn to know when the conversation is worth sticking around for and when it’s time to excercise some of that beautiful free will we all have and bounce ✌🏽.
1d ago
🌤
asking this when meeting someone new, fun discovery process for both parties!
instead of “so what do you do for work?” or for the collegiates: “what’s your major?” this question serves the choose-your-own-adventure purpose because not everyone is afforded/prefers a stable job or education. it also allows you to get to know someone better, maybe they’re going to tell you about the 200 plants they take care of, or the profound though they’ve been stuck on. or, maybe they will think you’re weird and just tell you what they do for work, which is fine too, because it also answers the question. plus, people get excited when you ask them this. it’s unconventional in those early stages, cool points awarded brethren.
May 17, 2024
Top Recs from @violetgirl
Apr 21, 2025
💌
I feel like I’m making friends 😄 But also I am curious what you will respond
6d ago