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My romance journey (pt 2)

i had a conversation with my current squeeze about vday plans and i was incredibly nervous. we aren’t “official”, however both of us have not engaged in any other stuff with other people since we met. even in this situation, and from past experiences i didn't want to impose so much on him, and create an expectation that we needed to celebrate since we aren’t technically a couple. also he has a weird work schedule and fridays is his day to prepare for long shifts during the weekend. i told him we can do something the day before, but that i would like to celebrate the morning of vday with him before i get to work and he goes back home. luckily he agreed to it. this is to say, im willing to wait a bit longer. but i am curious how long he will wait. he got out of a long term relationship a month before we met. i want to give him some time. but i am kinda on a clock as well. despite that, i am still having great times with him 💗 also, i feel uncomfortable saying “boyfriend“, so im using other terms like “flame”, “squeeze”, “paramour”, etc. and honestly i like that better than the other stuff 😂

@chiawase_

Feb 1, 2025

💌

LOVER BOY

This is the photo that I stare at longingly as we talk on the phone. I miss him terribly right now. We met outside of a funny little bar (Avant-Garde in Ottawa) during a break in sets where everyone was smoking outside. I actually came to see his friend’s band but he and his friends were absolutely tearing up the dance floor. I decided to go up and talk to the cute ginger boy (lover boy, Cam) and the goofy guy from the band (Noah) and they told me about a DJ set Noah was doing the next Friday. Cam never got my number so I had to go, obviously. He finally got my instagram (make better choices, ask for their number) that night and I dmed him and asked what he was doing the next day - he was going to read on his balcony. I’d learn later that this man is a very avid reader (love). I asked to join and that was our first date! He’s the first person to ever cook for me, and he even set me up on a chair and with a baguette with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. We dated for the rest of the summer, about two months, then I went back to school in a different city and we parted ways. He thought we’d never talk again but I hit him up whenever I came back to town and even asked if he’d like to spend a couple of days cooped up when I was back on winter break. He said yes and we drank wine and watched good movies and ate grapefruits. That weekend together brought us really close. I wasn’t in Ottawa the next summer but I did spend two weeks completely alone in Kakabeka Falls between forestry contracts in Northern Ontario. Those weeks I called him most days for hours despite us not having really talked in months. Then I came back to Ottawa for an internship this September. I’ve always been really weird about relationships, so I told him I just wanted to be friends. So we were, but also we would *platonically* share the twin bed I had at the time when it was late and I didn’t want him to spend exorbitant amounts of money getting home. He actually told me he wanted to be with me in October, but I was scared and said he wasn’t what I wanted. We stayed friends. December 21st I wanted to go see my favourite local band (Baby Richman) back at Avant-Garde. They have a super psychadelic sound and one of my roommates gave me shrooms to take. I was supposed to go with my other roommate, but she cancelled last minute. Not wanting to lightly trip alone in public, I invited Cam. The night was great, but when the music ended I didn’t want to stay out. I wanted to lie in my soft bed, feel my soft cotton pyjamas, and look up at my twinkly lights. Lying on my bed with Cam, we talked for hours. I cried at how beautifully he described his family’s Christmas traditions. That night I realized just how much I want to be an integral part of his life. We were a year and a half in the making. He is wonderful. He’s funny, incredibly smart, and inspires me to improve every day. He also always stuck around, despite many efforts to push something so good away. I am so lucky to be reunited with him in July.

@persimmons

May 26, 2025

💗

missing a man that isnt mine

so hear this shit out two years ago I came to visit my family in Colombia but decided to stay with my moms childhood bestfriend. Always knew she had a son but we were young when we met and we never talked so i didn’t think much about it. IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN THE MOST FINE ASS MAN IN THE WORLD GREETS ME AT THE DOOR. Anyway his mom has him take me to the mall and buy me lunch and also take me out to a club that same weeken. Everything was friend vibes up until I was dancing with him some reggaeton (donde se baila bien pegadito) and dancehall or wtv AND THEN AND THEN he whispers in my ear “te puedo dar la vuelta?” BASICALLY ASKING TO TURN ME AROUND AHHHHH AND LIKE DANCE WITH MY BACK (and ass) ALL UP ON HIM anyway nothing happened that night (even though we were home alone) cause like idk maybe im dense. After i left colombia we were chatting a bit on whatsapp BUT THEN HE LEFT ME ON DELIVERED. Whatever i didn’t think much of it cause who am i to expect someone in a whole other country to continue speaking to me. A whole year goes by and I come back to the city spring of 2024 for a wedding for my moms bestfriend so surprise surprise he was there with his mom who was also bestfriends with the groom and bride. We ended up dancing again (more modestly this time) still thought it was friends vibes cause idk man I WAS CRUSHING HARD THO. After the wedding he comes up to me and asks if i want to go clubbing. I say yes cause like WHY NOT. We get to his place (which i was again staying at cause his mom is my mothers LITERALLY CHILDHOOD BESTIE) i get ready, throw in whatever raggedy clothes i managed to bring on the trip. AND POP OUT. he ends up taking me to a club called DAKITI. We pull up, get drinks (i offer to pay cause like i have an american job and colombian pesos translated to dollars is lowkey cheap n i felt bad n I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST FRIEND VIBES) anyway i end up getting lit. I’m honestly not sure if he’s lit too but fuck it. Anyway we ended up dancing and he was fucking BREATHING DOWN MY NECK AND ALL UP IN MY FACE and jesus christ i kept hiding my face cause I was so nervous. I end up giving in and looking up at him (im 5’1 he’s gotta be like 6’0 or 6’1) and BITCH WE KISSED NOT ONLY KISS WE MADE OUT THE WHOLE NIGHT AND DANCING HOT AND HEAVY FR. bueno. We stay at the club dancing and making out until like 5am, we get a car home and he asks the driver if he could sit in the back with me (in colombia ubers are illegal so someone has to sit in the front seat so it looks like it’s a normal car ride) and the driver says no </3 but i end up putting my hand on the center console and si did he so we were holding hands the whole way. I won’t talk about what happened once we got home 👀 pero safe to say we was feeling each other. Once i left his place/colombia to go back home we were back to talking in whatsapp for a couple of months and it was super fun but it honestly came to a stop cause i noticed he was taking a while to answer and idk i felt like maybe he was just not that interested. ALL THIS BACK STORY JUST TO SAY i’m back in colombia. Not only have i stayed at his house BUT AT HIS GRANDMAS HOUSE (again his family loves me and my mom cause they grew up with my mom and also used to take care of me when i was younger) his aunts, cousins, grandma, and MOTHER, love me to death but my friends this isn’t a love story :( WELP, as the test of time would prove, my colombia bae now has a gf <\3 I found out about it last october cause i saw him post her and i IMMEDIATELY unfollowed him. Half cause i didn’t want to see him and other half cause i didn’t want his girl to have ANYTHING to worry about. Spent christmas with him and his family, we only said hi and bye and merry christmas. He’s currently out of town with friends and his gf and i’ve been spending time with his mom at their place. and ALSO hes trying to move to MY HOME TOWN to get his pilots license. so as he’s spending time with his boo thang out of the city me, my mom, and his mother are setting him up with usa pilir connects and what not. ITS SO WEIRD. Anyway, such is life im excited to leave colombia so i can stop existing in his four walls and move on with my life (plot twist: i might be moving to colombia after I graduate in may so i’ll be nearby) Hope yall enjoyed my story time <3

@sukisophi

Jan 8, 2025

Top Recs from @chiawase_

🖌

THIS SELF PORTRAIT BY ZINAIDA SEREBRIAKOVA

idk how i came across this in my daily wikipedia surfs, but something about this painting just amuses me so much. my first impression was this looks fairly modern in a way, possibly because of the composition and how she made her features so light and bouncy. it oddly made me think of disney when i looked for longer. then i see it was made in 1909 😂 this painting can transcend times and i wouldn’t truly know when it was made unless i looked more closely at the objects around the subject. but even that can be a stretch as vintage items can be popular amongst anyone and they can just have their vanity setup look like this. i tried looking for photographs of her online but alas nothing came up with certainty.

@chiawase_

Apr 27, 2025

🥀

buying myself flowers

i cried all night, i deserve this today

@chiawase_

Feb 10, 2025

🤸

RANDOM ACTS OF MOVEMENT

when you’re bored, ever just get the urge to take a walk, do yoga, or work out in some other way?

@chiawase_

May 3, 2025