what ive learned about being a friend and having friends is that sometimes your favorite people and your favorite activities don’t go hand in hand. my closest friends are people ive known forever with 9-5s and families. i live with my parents and work at a pizza shop, i got more free time. i like to go to shows and bars and parties but a lot of my core friends can’t as often. so i ask around, hit up acquaintances and old friends, see if my other friends have anyone they can introduce me to who likes the same things. i think if you’re seeking out people who got the time or the interest, you can find them because they’re probably looking for the same thing.
im a few years younger than you, but i picked this trick up from watching my 55 year old dad call up random people all the time. if someone can’t go out with him, he FINDS someone.
best of luck on the journey of filling your social cup. i know it feels lonely out there but there’s people out there for everyone!
May 16, 2025
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1. Recognize that everyone is looking for connection but nobody wants to be vulnerable first so you have to be the one willing
2. find low cost or free events around your city that meet your interests or that you want to learn more about. Facebook groups are great for this, there’s lots of walking/hiking/running clubs that are super casual and low commitment meant for socializing. Adult rec sports leagues also! you don’t have to be athletic, promise.
3. BE THE PERSON WHO MAKES THE PLAN AND INVITES OTHERS!!! This is by far the most important part. Everyone wants to do something fun but nobody wants to plan it. A good approach is planning something you want to do anyway and asking if they want to join.
4. Feel ok still doing the plan by yourself! Doing new things makes you an interesting person and you will have something new to talk about afterwards
Apr 18, 2024
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idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025
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ive been single for 5 years so when i moved, going out alone wasn’t really a new concept it was just the unfamiliar environment that was intimidating. so i just had to get over my fear of the literal unknown.
either way, concerts are the easiest place for me to make new connections cus i like to dance and i mean there’s already a solid topic of conversation to lead with (the artist you r there to see 🌚)
dive bars r easy too, i just have a drink at the bar, talk to whoever’s there, and go wherever the wind takes me.
i also just straight up asked my coworkers if anyone wanted to be friends and /or hangout. sometimes (in seattle at least) u just have to be straightforward
my old roommate liked going to queer nights and that’s how she met a few of her friends
my current roommate is into gaming so he goes to gaming meets & card game battles
and i have another friend who loves skating so she goes to skating events
i guess, meet new people thru ur hobbies 🧘🏽♀️
BUT ALSO
don’t be afraid to ask :)
May 16, 2024
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first project i’ve actually finished in YEARS!! it took me way too long (it was supposed to be a christmas present whoops) but here is the goddamn duck i told myself i would put on this jacket. it’s HERE and I put it there!!! with my own hands!!!
Feb 19, 2025
my chameleon died this morning and i buried him in my mom’s backyard. i had a lot of ladders in his cage, he seemed to really like to zip around on em. it was hard to see him lose mobility in his old age, but i like to remember him as a climber.
rest in peace mr. princess
Jan 12, 2025
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nuff said
Apr 3, 2025