1. Recognize that everyone is looking for connection but nobody wants to be vulnerable first so you have to be the one willing
2. find low cost or free events around your city that meet your interests or that you want to learn more about. Facebook groups are great for this, there’s lots of walking/hiking/running clubs that are super casual and low commitment meant for socializing. Adult rec sports leagues also! you don’t have to be athletic, promise.
3. BE THE PERSON WHO MAKES THE PLAN AND INVITES OTHERS!!! This is by far the most important part. Everyone wants to do something fun but nobody wants to plan it. A good approach is planning something you want to do anyway and asking if they want to join.
4. Feel ok still doing the plan by yourself! Doing new things makes you an interesting person and you will have something new to talk about afterwards
Apr 18, 2024
Related Recs
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idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025
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People often ask this question on my country’s subreddit and i can definitely understand their “frustration” when it comes to feeling “lonely”. However i always say :
In order to find new friends you should find yourself first.
- Discovering your true self is mandatory to be able to find new friends, what are your interests ? What inspires you in life ? What’s your perspective in certain things ?
Once we truly find something that could connect us with other people, friends will come along easily (Not easily a 100% but it’s a step forward to that)
Then the internet stays the best way to connect with new people honestly, it all depends on the usage !
You like art ? Post your work, your opinions about certain art pieces, ask for advice to “perfect” your work and see your cmments and dms be full of people WILLING to help and connect !
Same thing for the rest of the interests !
Political opinions ? Join the right subreddits for it
IT field ? Join discord and github communities
You like Gardening ? Facebook groups and subreddits !
You can’t imagine how many GOOD people are out there willing to share and connect and help those with their same interests!
And people are so interested in what’s new ! What you think is “normal” for you can literally make you so interesting for some people ! (The way you dress, the way you talk, even how you arrange your bag ! Just keep a smile on your face 😉).
Just don’t get attached too easily and give it time to grow.
Feb 1, 2025
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A lot of people will usually recommend signing up for courses or joining clubs to make new friends as an adult. This is definitely good advice, since it puts you in contact with people who share your interests! However, I've found that a lot of these courses or clubs cost money, or they require a schedule that's difficult to fit into an adult life. I've had the most luck making friends at local music shows so far. This way, you're around people that still share at least one of your interests (music taste), and you'll usually have more in common from there. After leaving the "bubble" of my university, I felt very isolated at first. After a few months of going to shows on my own here and there, I started to recognize some familiar faces in the scene & made new connections with a few people. I'd recommend picking a couple bands to keep up with, or following a few local booking companies on social media. If you don't vibe with the crowd at the ones you chose, you can always switch lanes and try different venues! Different groups/venues usually attract different age ranges as well, so if you notice people are too far out of your range at your show, just keep trying other options. I've realized that there's actually multiple scenes inside my local scene, which may be the case for a lot of midsize-to-bigger cities/areas. If you find venues, bands, or booking groups that support certain causes you care about, then most people in the crowd will also share your values, not just your interests! Typically the shows are very cheap, and they're irregular instead of attending a recurring class, so you can decide when you feel like socializing. Even if you don't meet people you connect with, it's nice to feel like a part of a bigger community & get out of the house sometimes. Going out frequently can be draining to some people, so once you meet some people from the shows, you can start inviting them to other activities or hangouts that might be more lowkey & easier to manage!
Aug 20, 2024
Top Recs from @lilsolano
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I’ve done this every time I’ve found myself between full time jobs and it really makes the whole time better. You have a little money coming in and you can collect material for your future memoir. Some odd jobs from my past:
Axe throwing coach
Closet designer
Lunch catering delivery
Balloon bouquet maker
Background extra
i found them on big job boards like indeed and also Craigslist (Searching “part time” gets you less garbage results). If you hate it after you start you can just quit!
Also if you like pets, signing up for dog walking or petsitting will keep you active and you get to hang out with pets.
Apr 19, 2024
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I love doing this, it’s wonderfully disorienting. Theres still so much day left afterwards it’s basically a whole new day, like an optical illusion, but of time.
Jun 16, 2024
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Shopping cart with a bad wheel.
Sock slipping down your shoe.
The day after you burn your tongue when it’s still all sensitive.
An eye twitch.
bad toilet paper (thin, scratchy).
clothing tag that itches.
Really strong static shock that makes you jump.
getting perfume in your mouth.
Apr 17, 2024