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frequently staying mildly Off-putting
May 12, 2025
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Since I was a kid, I’ve never been able to consistently look at ppl in the eye during conversations.
You know when you say a word too many times that it starts losing its meaning and you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore? (re: semantic satiation)
The same thing happens to me with eye contact. If I stare at someone for too long, I start losing sense of their face because I’ve been too hyper focused on looking into their eyes. And if I get too caught up in maintaining eye contact, I risk potentially losing track of what the person was even saying to begin with; which generally just comes off as me being rude/inconsiderate of the other person in the convo.
I’ve definitely gotten better at maintaining better eye contact as I’ve gotten older, but it’s still a struggle. I generally have to do a little dance with my own eyes and alternate between looking at different parts of a person’s face (or occasionally look elsewhere/fidget with something for a couple of seconds between stares) so that I’m still “looking” at them most of the time without appearing like I’m uninterested or risk losing focus on what they’re saying.
Aug 8, 2024
May 15, 2024
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I'm a well known eye contact avoider. after my college graduation my family had a little celebration dinner with some family friends and my dad got up and made a toast. he started his speech by saying "for years we thought Nicholas was autistic because as a child he would never look you in the eye!" which was very cringe inducing but he had a point i suppose.
i've gotten better about it as i've gotten older and been more intentional with it, but there's definitely a moment where i have to override my instinct to look away. generally i find that when i get going on a topic during conversation i kinda naturally look away from the person i'm talking to, i'm a verbal processor so guess it helps me focus?
Aug 8, 2024
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May 31, 2025