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I didnāt go to college so I found myself in my first 40-hour workweek job at 18. While everyone else was learning, being young & partying, I was clocking in 9-5ās. It sucked. It was bleak. Some of the harder years of my life that were healed by good friends & intentional hobbies.
Now at 31, I have two jobs that pay me well and combined Iām working less than 35 hours a week. From my teaching-adjacent job, Iām at a point where Iām well respected by my peers, and by those above me. Iāve gotten to travel to speak and itās been great. From the design job, Iām at the point now where I donāt advertise work, the jobs just come in. If you would have told me Iād be here today when I was at my first job at 18, I would have never believed you.
My point is this: Itās normal for work to be sucky for a season. Itās normal to be sad and be stressed and resentful of where youāre at. Itās normal to feel like thereās no hope for tomorrow. But I also think thereās something wonderful about (1) doing your job well & with integrity, (2) walking through open doors when they appear, and (3) being a good person in spite of the situation, or job in this case.
I know itās hard to understand when youāre in the trench, but I promise you that youāll get out of the trench and one day youāll look back and see how life works itself out in such a way where you'll end up exactly where you need to be.
May 8, 2025
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I was a post-grad slacker living with my Dad in suburban purgatory for the first third of my twenties. I was ready to let my life slide on byā ālifeā as such, in my estimation, being more of a mild affliction or some sort of spectacle to think big about or talk big about but not really do anything about. And then, suddenlyā my father & I got evicted. I got thrown into adulthood without really much warning at all. Stayed with my grandparents on a mattress in their living room; got a miserable job in the big city ā¢ļø & saved up for a few months. A friend was looking for a roommate to move into a house with her and some others. I took her up on it without hesitation.
I have no advice. If my father had been more fiscally responsible, It would be 2 years later & Iād still be gooning my life away in suburbia. No job, no prospects, my life just continuing and continuing and continuing and continuing and continuing and continuing. Looking down the barrel of 30 with my dick in my hand, soft & spent. I know a lot of guys like that. Theyāre real, it can happen to you. I was almost him.
I guess just know thereās no āidealā move. either do it or donāt. Youāll figure it out whether youāre ready or not.
God stepped in for me & forced me into adulthood. But He might be ignoring you for now, so if thatās the case just get a miserable job and save up first months rent & suffer until you realize that youāre pretty happy.
Feb 11, 2025
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I think right when you graduate college youāre under the impression that you need to pick a job/path and stick with itā¦ and thatās your career! (What I thought. What many of my peers thought.)
In reality as I live through my 20s: it seems that the more satisfied people have reconsidered their path, or maybe done a career switch, or applied to grad school when they never thought they would.
My brother is joining the workforce for the first time in a few months, and I just keep encouraging him to be really critical of his job and critical of his life - because I think itās great to identify what you donāt like and go ahead and start making moves towards the next thing. Inertia will often be against you, so you have to start slowly pushing thought the molasses asap.
I also think itās easy to become complacent in whatever youāre doing and delay change just because youāre scared. However, consider that when you talk to older people theyāve often lived so many different lives and had so many different careers and relationships and hobbies and travelsā¦and youāre not going to have that same experience if you donāt quit and restart and shift and move and shake alot.
All this to say, I think you donāt have to be so stressed out about whatever comes first after graduation because ideally it changes so so so many times.
Maybe the grass is greener if you can just be satisfied and sit still, but I wouldnāt know.
Mar 27, 2024
As person in their early 20s it sometimes seems like life is moving so quickly, and Iām constantly struggling to keep up with the pace of things. Everyone is in a different place. Some of my friends are still in school, some are married, some have the careers they will keep for the rest of their lives, and some are barely scraping by in the service industry.
Do any of us want to be in the places we are? It feels to me that as soon as I begin to feel happy and comfortable somewhere, all I can think about is what my next step will be and how to get there.
Iām starting to realize that I donāt need to know what Iām going to do next all. The. Time. The only reason I feel inclined to know these things is so that I have something to tell nosy family members. I can take my time. I can rest. I can move at my own pace. I have time. The journey, no matter how long, is a part of the process as well and the process can be made up of beautiful and meaningful moments in their own right.
Jan 17, 2025
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I feel like thereās a special connectivity on this app that I havenāt felt in a long time, maybe since early 2010ās tumblr. The fact that you canāt promote yourself like IG is wonderful. The fact that there isnāt mass video content like Tik Tok is great. Itās not this monetized / paid sponsorship app. People are here because they want to be a part of something with nothing to gain besides friendship. Seeing the URL -> IRL meetups warms my heart so much (waiting for an NYC or Brooklyn meetup).
Thanks for your participation on this niche little app. I smile reading all the recs and all the comments and all the asks. Hope weāll all be here for a long time.
Jun 15, 2024
florinegrassenhopper riotgrrrl brendanooooo slowdazzle buck_mcgraw and indianjones ā we did it. Not only did we successfully meet for drinks, but we also schemed the hostile takeover of this app from tyler tonight.
In all seriousness ā weird that an app I downloaded in April would make genuinely want to drive back into Brooklyn during end of day traffic for a happy hour. Great app filled with great people.
Jul 20, 2024
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I think a life rule for me is to surround myself with people who know more / are smarter / are cooler than me and just absorb their aura by listening / observing them. Itās made me the incredibly smart / cool person you all know and love.
I just never thought Iād feel the same way about URL friends. Iām constantly listening to the songs I see posted here, reading the articles, subbing to newsletters, and googling topics that get tossed onto the feed.
Itās nice to know you can become a more rounded person by just absorbing what your mutuals post on here. Iām going to sit on my couch, have a cocktail and digest my lovely feed. Happy Sunday!
Sep 15, 2024