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I think right when you graduate college you’re under the impression that you need to pick a job/path and stick with it… and that’s your career! (What I thought. What many of my peers thought.)
In reality as I live through my 20s: it seems that the more satisfied people have reconsidered their path, or maybe done a career switch, or applied to grad school when they never thought they would.
My brother is joining the workforce for the first time in a few months, and I just keep encouraging him to be really critical of his job and critical of his life - because I think it’s great to identify what you don’t like and go ahead and start making moves towards the next thing. Inertia will often be against you, so you have to start slowly pushing thought the molasses asap.
I also think it’s easy to become complacent in whatever you’re doing and delay change just because you’re scared. However, consider that when you talk to older people they’ve often lived so many different lives and had so many different careers and relationships and hobbies and travels…and you’re not going to have that same experience if you don’t quit and restart and shift and move and shake alot.
All this to say, I think you don’t have to be so stressed out about whatever comes first after graduation because ideally it changes so so so many times.
Maybe the grass is greener if you can just be satisfied and sit still, but I wouldn’t know.
Mar 27, 2024
Related Recs
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or I guess theres no set time of one’s life that should universally be their golden years, rather. I had an awful time starting my 20s, I graduated in 2021 having already lost half my college career to the pandemic, spent a year post college trying unsuccessfully to launch a career, lost another year moving back home to deal with family obligations, then found myself at 23 thinking I had missed the window on some universal period of self actualization that was supposed to happen between ages 19-22.
I think this idea is engrained in us because the progression laid out by our capitalist framework is that we do k-12 school, figure out how to apply our knowledge to a field in college, then know ourselves well enough by then to fit into whatever role we have chosen as the most productive for ourselves, and then do that stably as a career until retirement. or you get married and have kids to and support the domestic life of the partner who progresses professionally. obv what crises like COVID demonstrate is that this progression is flawed, and it’s not a one size fits all mold. to limit one’s entire development as a person into what they do to prepare for a lifetime of working is insanely reductive.
if you find yourself jealous of those younger than you, it’s likely that you envy the stage of life they are in - the stage just before they assume responsibility and obligation and lose the agency to chose how they apply themselves. this is somewhat of an imposed illusion, though. we all have agency at all points of our life to make the choices that can lead us towards our own flourishing, whether they be big steps or small ones.
for me, I decided to change career paths entirely and pursue grad school. i’m about to graduate and now i’m feeling like my passions are leading me elsewhere other than the field I set out to enter when I started my program. I turn 26 in like 3 weeks and i’m still figuring out what drives me and how to pursue it. for some folks that clarity of direction may come sooner, for some it may come later, but the point isn’t for that clarity to steer you to a destination where you then arrive at self actualization and can finally enjoy being - the point is to have the clarity to enjoy where you’re at within process of discovery. to be is to be in process.
ditch the assembly line mindset you were taught, you don’t come out of your early 20s a fully assembled human ready to produce economic value. your whole life is a process of constructing and deconstructing, adding on new pieces, finding joy in troubleshooting the newness of each piece, swapping the old parts for ones that might serve you better, being informed in the creation of the new by what didn’t serve you with the old. you slowly build yourself into a state that works in each moment to produce the greatest flourishing for you in that instance. to inhabit that process actively is self realization. it’s a task, not a place.
you aren’t a fixed piece, and you shouldn’t envy those who are chronologically younger than you because you assume time grants them more freedom to assemble themselves than it does you. they might be more or less realized than you based on how much time or thought they’ve dedicated to the task or how much freedom they’ve had to pursue it. understand, though, that you have control over how much time and thought you dedicate to your own realization and can act on it regardless of stage of life. sometimes obligation gets in the way of the immediacy of that ability, trust me I get that, but even taking brief moments to envision what things or places or people or experiences might serve to build you up in the ways that you need is valuable in and of itself for granting you a sense of direction that you can pursue at any time.
just don’t get so caught up in feeling like you need clarity first to know what to do. don’t sit around getting distracted waiting for it to come to you. interrogate it, seek it out. use your time wisely, but don’t be mislead into thinking there’s a timer on it. there’s no deadline if the assignment isn’t to present a product but instead to enjoy the process of creating and discovering for as long as you so choose.
Jul 11, 2024
As person in their early 20s it sometimes seems like life is moving so quickly, and I’m constantly struggling to keep up with the pace of things. Everyone is in a different place. Some of my friends are still in school, some are married, some have the careers they will keep for the rest of their lives, and some are barely scraping by in the service industry.
Do any of us want to be in the places we are? It feels to me that as soon as I begin to feel happy and comfortable somewhere, all I can think about is what my next step will be and how to get there.
I’m starting to realize that I don’t need to know what I’m going to do next all. The. Time. The only reason I feel inclined to know these things is so that I have something to tell nosy family members. I can take my time. I can rest. I can move at my own pace. I have time. The journey, no matter how long, is a part of the process as well and the process can be made up of beautiful and meaningful moments in their own right.
Jan 17, 2025
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I just didn’t take the straight route. I dropped out of college twice, and graduated when I was 25. Then took years off before going to grad school. Even then, it was years of trying things before I found my niche. I’m now 34 and solid in my career.
Honestly, life is long and it makes total sense to me to want to shift when you are more sure of who you are. Go for it! Why not! Take a crazy chance!
Jun 18, 2024
Top Recs from @chlonline
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Shoot! Sorry I missed your call, I’m in moon mode.
Apr 20, 2024
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These are my favorite food (only slight hyperbole).
I recommend, in no order:
-Kettle brand
-Kettle brand air fried
-7/11
-Lay's Kettle Cooked
These chips are so strong that they will burn your tongue. They are chemical perfection that make the systems in my body dance. They are so rock and roll. No matter what size the bag, I will probably finish the bag.
I always eat the folded ones first, and then move to the unfolded ones.
Jan 31, 2024
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If you’re within an hour walk from home, you should just walk home.
I understand taking public transit or an Uber there to be on time, but you’re not rushing to get home. Thus, walk.
Feb 5, 2024