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Even if you end up having to go somewhere else, there still will be culture to get involved in, people to meet, things to learn, realizations to be made. All of that is still right there for you and it will be open in a way you won't even realize until you've done like a year or two. So it's truly still exciting times. As long as you feel generally good about the place you ultimately choose, your time is coming.
Mar 26, 2025
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I’ve been scared of growing older & change for my entire life (i fear I have been dreading this since elementary school) and ever since I entered university I’ve lived in fear of having to become a real person in the unknown and scary world that comes after that outside the confines of a structured academic environment … (i blame growing up in a very academic-stressed environment where your entire life purpose was to get into a good university so like after that’s done what’s left?) it always felt like after university, life just ended which is an INSANE take because most people are literally 21-22 when they graduate. YOUR LIFE IS JUST BEGINNING!! you’re barely even a real person yet! you literally barely turned the right age to walk into a bar in the USA!! somehow, after 4 years of dreading this day, i think i finally got it out of my system and now that I graduate in less than a week, i have realized that it’s truly not that deep and there’s so much out there to learn and so many people to meet and so many ways i will change and grow. you are the one who defines how your life will go, and while thats a bit intimidating- it’s also comforting because you can quite literally choose your own adventure and so the things that make you happy and live according to your rules- you don’t have to follow someone else’s manual or some structured system! every stage of life has its own unique aspects and benefits, and I truly feel so privileged for having the opportunity to be alive and go through them all and learn- anyway reminder to anyone who also struggles with the fear of the unknown/change/growing up. I’m so excited for the next stage in my life yipppeeee!
May 12, 2025
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the idea that you can only fuck up and express and be beautiful and destructive and explorative and constructive in your youth is simply a myth. you are going to continue to fuck up and you are going to continue to blossom. there's no linear path and structure on that. even people in their 50's completely change their entire lives. nothing is fixed and there is no path to follow.
your life isn't over until it's over.
this narrative that once you start to age you can no longer explore and express is an oppressive, capitalist, and intentional one. also, it's just not true.
your responsibility doesn't have to be boring or restrictive. the reason why you become more responsible is because you actually care about yourself. irresponsibility isn't the same as freedom. irresponsibility can be "fun" but also destroys you. having more responsibilities to keep yourself safe and cared for isn't the antithesis to fun and life and expression.
your feelings make sense though. in college it's easier to meet people and try new things. but ease doesn't translate to quality or longevity or intrigue. but funny enough, there are 30 year olds now that probably feel the exact same way about you as you feel about the people slightly younger than you.
there is no such thing as free years in terms of spirit.
expression and exploration is available in all forms at all ages. there are always places to go, hikes to walk, friends to laugh with, mistakes to make, good food to eat, art to create, fights to have, things to fail at, lessons to be learned, and love to be felt.
you're only 23. you're about to enter a new chapter of your life where you will fuck up and you will have stories to tell, adventure to explore, feelings to express, and people to love. and that is something that will always be true.
Jul 11, 2024
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It’s okay that 100 days from now will be a new decade of existence for you. experiences that haunt and exhilarate you have filled your mind to the point of calamity. or so it seems. You might not have the career you thought you’d do forever at 24. you might have even picked up quirks from the local dive bar over your short descent into madness. It’s okay. Go to the big city and see that tiki bar. Go to the record store. go to another record store!! buy a record you dont need, maybe even a zine! Things will work out.
Jun 11, 2024
Top Recs from @jrpaperstack
May 16, 2025
Hidden in a neighborhood in a building designed by Ando, lots of rotating exhibitions often involving queer art and history, digital art, and bigger art and architecture retrospectives. Prob as close to a secret big art space as you can get in Chicago.
Feb 25, 2025
Apr 15, 2025