I realized recently that I haven’t felt sincere passion for anything since I was like.. maybe 12 or 13 years old. I don’t really feel joy or excitement when it comes to doing the things I like or care about. I sometimes feel satisfaction from doing tasks, and if I force myself to do a little art project I might feel content, but nothing motivates me— I don’t feel any drive or spark to do the things that used to bring me joy.
I do also think this is compounded by my use of social media and devices. I’m so used to the instant gratification and dopamine rushes my brain gets from instagram and twitter and dating apps that I don’t feel compelled to put the work into a long-term project or something that would engage me. The payoff doesn’t feel worth it in the moment, so I procrastinate and procrastinate until the thoughts themselves dissipate. Why work my brain when I can sit in bed all day and consume media, especially if it doesn’t demand anything from me!
Anyway, truth be told, I’m embarrassed by my rotted brain. I‘m embarrassed that I don’t feel the desire to get up and do stuff. I see people around me doing what they love and loving it, and I feel immense sorrow. I feel empty and alone most of the time. I wonder if this is an epidemic in our generation or if it’s just me. #Commentdownbelowwhatuthink.
