Rec | MY ROMANCE? JOURNEY (PT 3)

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“maybe we should take a step back…” that’s better than “I want to end this”, but it’s still a bummer 😂 i think its times like this where i miss the traditional way of getting into a relationship. but i also feel like from my inexperience, and my biological clock, that i need to get going and married fast. i don’t want have kids at 37 like my mom and be close to not active with them. still enjoying my time, but like, im almost 28 with only one legit relationship on my record…

@chiawase_

Feb 10, 2025

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my romance journey (PT 1)

i am a hopeless romantic and will take all the chances I get to keep up with relationships. Summer 2023, i met someone in San Diego and was in contact with him for a very long time. I expected him to be a legitimate partner, maybe even have a long distance relationship, move out there and live this idyllic life in California. Then, last June he stops messaging me. I sent him messages on and off to see how he was doing. He saw them, but never responded. Then he blocked me out of nowhere in October. I kinda had a breakdown. I felt like I was unlovable, that he was my last chance to have a relationship with someone who had most of my wants in a future partner. I was willing to compromise so much for him, then he just went away, with no explanation. Things got better, and I started talking to someone else who feels even more compatible with me. And I am loving this. i feel more calm with this person and i am allowed to be myself even more than I have with other men I have talked to. Then last night, i randomly woke up to a message from the guy in San Diego. He is a city away from me currently and I was perplexed, and angry. I told him how he hurt me, and then he wanted to talk to me about it. But i haven’t responded since. I imagined with situations like this, at least in the movies there’s sometimes a spark of hope that shows up when the old flame returns. However, that didn’t happen last night. I was annoyed. And a bit disgusted. Romance is a lot, but I am happy with my current situation and the love and attention I feel like I am getting, and deserve.

@chiawase_

Jan 8, 2025

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um :/

I’m in a better place in my life, I manage to make a solid connection with someone that I can really see myself progressing with (romantically), and life still manages to get in the way. Shout out to you, universe. I understand, but I’m… yeah… Idk. We still have a solid connection of course and I will always cherish it, but this sucks lol. Maybe we’ll revisit this again in the future. It feels silly but I just really thought that this was it.

@ariesaturn

Jan 17, 2025

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not yearning

i've been seeing piffies posting about, and I myself, have experienced The Yearn. i've sat with my feelings about relationships through many seasons. i was with someone for 10 yrs, we got engaged, i broke it off. although he was an incredible person, he was not my soulmate. i've had a few relationships since then and have felt The Yearn. after being dumped this weekend i have some thoughts to ask myself when looking at dating / The Yearn. 1 -- are you seeking connection or attention? 2 -- is your relationship an excuse for you to not work on other parts of yourself you know you need to take time to face? 3 -- how are your friendships? do you have people behind you that will see you through any season? keep those people around FOREVER. maybe marry them instead.... lmao 😳 4 -- have you dated yourself? was it full of joy and love? 5 -- can you (within reason - we can NOT exist and heal with out each other) meet your own needs and care for yourself? 6 -- how honest are you with yourself? you'll only ever be able to be that honest with other people, no matter the relationship. 7 -- are you just trying to follow a story arc that you *think* you *should* follow? see link: relationship escalator my goals right now are to build up a family of people that will be with me forever! it's not a ton of people but it's enough! if i find a "soulmate" or "love of my life" along the way then like... nice 😃👍 but like that's not my GOAL. if you are young and reading this, i wish i knew in my 20s (am 31) what i am writing in this post. i g2g tho ~ ily, be well!