Rec
I actually got this idea from Dr. Becky, shout out to her š«¶
Confidence is always seen as being this big energy person, but thatās not true. Confidence is about being clear about your wants and needs, even if thatās taking time to figure it out. Confidence is knowing you've got your own back.
Perfectionism is a beast. I work with a lot of kids with it. Firstly, work on frustration tolerance. Have some mantras for yourself to regulate when things inevitable go south. Since youāre an adult (Iām assuming), you can do a bit of work looking at where this comes from. Itās a part of anxiety, and feeling like your worth comes from doing things right. In a lot of my personal work Iāve found it very helpful when Iām being hard on myself to speak to myself like Iām a child. Youāre not going to verbally beat the shit out of a kid for not getting something right, are you?? Youād give them empathy and support. You need to learn how to do that for yourself. Thus, talk to the younger version of you.
While you could learn confidence by doing some of what other people are suggesting, I suggest seeking out some professional support for the perfectionism. Thatās a heavy weight attached to you that probably need some outside support to loosen.
Confidence is always seen as being this big energy person, but thatās not true. Confidence is about being clear about your wants and needs, even if thatās taking time to figure it out. Confidence is knowing you've got your own back.
Perfectionism is a beast. I work with a lot of kids with it. Firstly, work on frustration tolerance. Have some mantras for yourself to regulate when things inevitable go south. Since youāre an adult (Iām assuming), you can do a bit of work looking at where this comes from. Itās a part of anxiety, and feeling like your worth comes from doing things right. In a lot of my personal work Iāve found it very helpful when Iām being hard on myself to speak to myself like Iām a child. Youāre not going to verbally beat the shit out of a kid for not getting something right, are you?? Youād give them empathy and support. You need to learn how to do that for yourself. Thus, talk to the younger version of you.
While you could learn confidence by doing some of what other people are suggesting, I suggest seeking out some professional support for the perfectionism. Thatās a heavy weight attached to you that probably need some outside support to loosen.
Jan 19, 2025
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Rec
āØbeen thinking a lot about self-awareness lately and what makes me āme.ā Iām always trying to figure out how to transform my inner critic to real personal growth without shame.
being honest and not editing myself to any given room was one of the first things I began to tackle in therapy. existing among other humans is an ongoing give and take, and Being Who You Are without apology while treating others with respect is really all you need to do in this life. learning how to be kind and true, and finding the good amongst so much bad and then sharing it with others makes the world go āround
Apr 16, 2024
Rec
šIāve been known to gas myself up. Iāll walk into a room and announce that I love my outfit for the day. Iāll show someone a spreadsheet that I made and say that Iām in awe of my brain for having such a good idea and bringing it to fruition. And I can assure you that Iām laughing at every single one of my jokes.
Itās obvious how loving yourself and having confidence improves how you feel overall. We know this, we understand this. What I want to talk about is the lesser known impacts of believing in yourself, which is how the rest of the world interacts with you when you carry yourself with unshakable confidence.
On the surface, how do other people react when Iām giving myself a gold star? They giggle, sometimes they may roll their eyes.
On a deeper level, when you truly walk through the world knowing that you are that bitch, it creates an inexplicable magnetism. People notice you in a different way. Take a compliment on an outfit, for example. I wear cute clothes, but so do a lot of people. When someone compliments my outfit, what they are often actually drawn to is that they can tell that EYE feel amazing wearing my outfit.
I love job interviews. People find this shocking and confusing, but theyāre going about interviews all wrong. Iām not trying to sell myself, sound like I know what Iām talking about, convince someone to hire me, none of this nonsense. Iām excited to talk about my previous work and skills that Iām so proud of and how amazing I am. I donāt have to tell them how valuable I am, how lucky they would be to have me- the way I believe in myself conveys it.
As mother (RuPaul) says, āif you donāt love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?ā We always talk about treating other people in the way that you want to be treated, but that starts with you. Are you nice to yourself? Do you love yourself? Are you the only girl in the world? If you canāt show up for yourself in these ways, itās going to limit your capacity to show up for others.
We donāt have to pretend like this is possible every moment of every day. Most days, it feels like everything in our environment is trying to tear us down constantly (especially women!) and sometimes its all too much. Sometimes you just wake up and itās just not your day. These things happens. Good news- you can try again tomorrow.
Worried about being labeled as delusional? Youāre not- you are the baddest bitch in the room. Labeled as extra? Good. Take up as much space as you see fit. Vain? Thatās fine. Some people canāt see whatās beyond the surface; the 700th selfie I put on IG has much less to do with liking my face and much more to do with feeling beautiful in my soul.
Itās hard to put into words. But when you believe in yourself, people notice. They wonāt be able to put their finger on it, thereās just something about you that stands out. It comes through in our body language, our micro-behaviors, and the wavelengths and vibrations we canāt see and feel.
Try it out. Lie to yourself until you believe it. Then, watch the world start to fall at your feet.
Itās obvious how loving yourself and having confidence improves how you feel overall. We know this, we understand this. What I want to talk about is the lesser known impacts of believing in yourself, which is how the rest of the world interacts with you when you carry yourself with unshakable confidence.
On the surface, how do other people react when Iām giving myself a gold star? They giggle, sometimes they may roll their eyes.
On a deeper level, when you truly walk through the world knowing that you are that bitch, it creates an inexplicable magnetism. People notice you in a different way. Take a compliment on an outfit, for example. I wear cute clothes, but so do a lot of people. When someone compliments my outfit, what they are often actually drawn to is that they can tell that EYE feel amazing wearing my outfit.
I love job interviews. People find this shocking and confusing, but theyāre going about interviews all wrong. Iām not trying to sell myself, sound like I know what Iām talking about, convince someone to hire me, none of this nonsense. Iām excited to talk about my previous work and skills that Iām so proud of and how amazing I am. I donāt have to tell them how valuable I am, how lucky they would be to have me- the way I believe in myself conveys it.
As mother (RuPaul) says, āif you donāt love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?ā We always talk about treating other people in the way that you want to be treated, but that starts with you. Are you nice to yourself? Do you love yourself? Are you the only girl in the world? If you canāt show up for yourself in these ways, itās going to limit your capacity to show up for others.
We donāt have to pretend like this is possible every moment of every day. Most days, it feels like everything in our environment is trying to tear us down constantly (especially women!) and sometimes its all too much. Sometimes you just wake up and itās just not your day. These things happens. Good news- you can try again tomorrow.
Worried about being labeled as delusional? Youāre not- you are the baddest bitch in the room. Labeled as extra? Good. Take up as much space as you see fit. Vain? Thatās fine. Some people canāt see whatās beyond the surface; the 700th selfie I put on IG has much less to do with liking my face and much more to do with feeling beautiful in my soul.
Itās hard to put into words. But when you believe in yourself, people notice. They wonāt be able to put their finger on it, thereās just something about you that stands out. It comes through in our body language, our micro-behaviors, and the wavelengths and vibrations we canāt see and feel.
Try it out. Lie to yourself until you believe it. Then, watch the world start to fall at your feet.
Rec
šSome people are just better at handling it than others. Remember that itās likely nobody is thinking about you as much as youāre thinking about yourself! If people are judging you, this is something you can either learn and grow from if you do something legitimately wrong, or theyāre just being rude and critical for no reason and thatās a reflection on them. Give others grace, patience, and the benefit of the doubt and hopefully theyāll do the same for you.
Not everybody will like you and thatās okay! And as much as we would like to think we can and as much effort as some may put into it, we can never truly control the way others perceive us. Find ways to develop self esteem and confidence that comes from within based off of traits you admire and respect about yourself regardless of what other people think.
I would recommend that you undergo DIY exposure therapy by throwing yourself into lots of social scenarios big and small that make you blush and shake and feel like you want to crawl out of your skin. Go into public places and force yourself to make pleasant small talk with strangers + share something small about yourself with them! Ask people about themselves! Go to a party or an event and make it a goal to talk to X number of people.
But also remember that you donāt have to share your whole personality with everyone you meet and depending on the context and circumstances it may not even be appropriate to do so. So maybe start with identifying aspects of your personality you want to show most consistently with everyone you meet and go from there!
Not everybody will like you and thatās okay! And as much as we would like to think we can and as much effort as some may put into it, we can never truly control the way others perceive us. Find ways to develop self esteem and confidence that comes from within based off of traits you admire and respect about yourself regardless of what other people think.
I would recommend that you undergo DIY exposure therapy by throwing yourself into lots of social scenarios big and small that make you blush and shake and feel like you want to crawl out of your skin. Go into public places and force yourself to make pleasant small talk with strangers + share something small about yourself with them! Ask people about themselves! Go to a party or an event and make it a goal to talk to X number of people.
But also remember that you donāt have to share your whole personality with everyone you meet and depending on the context and circumstances it may not even be appropriate to do so. So maybe start with identifying aspects of your personality you want to show most consistently with everyone you meet and go from there!
May 16, 2024
Top Recs from @mossyelfie
May 31, 2025
Rec
In Tarot, The Fool is the first card in the Major Arcana, which represents the life cycle.Ā These cycles we are continuously going through in our lives, not just once.Ā The final card of the Major Arcana is The World (which I have tattooed very large on my thigh), which signifies the completion of a cycle and natural ascension into the next.Ā We are then thrust back into the Fool, with a bit more wisdom.
The Fool as an archetype is one of joy, curiosity, spontaneity, and trust.Ā The Fool is pure of heart, knowing that the Universe has got their back.Ā This innate trust allows The Fool to be playful, to take risks, and truly believe everything will work out.Ā The more we go through life and experience loss, grief, heartache, trauma, the harder it becomes to embrace this energy.Ā Iāve found that as healing goes on, just as itās shown in tarot, we return to this natural state of being.Ā We start off as The Fool when we are wee little babies, and if we are lucky can return there a few cycles at a time, with more wisdom gained each time.Ā Ā
The goal of The Fool is to have positive experiences, maybe for fun, maybe to grow.Ā There is an acceptance with The Fool, a kind of āthis is what is, how can I make this work well for me?ā Everything works out for The Fool because they donāt know it canāt. Anything we go through in life, we can use to grow.Ā I personally believe we all could benefit embracing the archetypal energy of The Fool a bit more.Ā The Fool doesnāt stop to worry what other people will think!Ā The Fool does not fret about what ifās!Ā The Fool is in the moment!
Jun 1, 2025
Rec
šHumans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE š
Apr 24, 2025