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this happened to me recently
initially, it stung. for a few brief hours, I had a great big offended flare up of wounded pride
but then I started reaping the benefits in the form of a clarifying dose of humility. Suddenly I was able to see and accept things about myself that I'd been avoiding accepting. And I could see that the assignment wasn't actually something I truly wanted; I just liked the idea of it, what it would have said about me to be asked, but in reality it would have been quickly toxic āĀ and I can see that I dodged a bullet.
The whole thing has actually highlighted a different direction that I know in my heart I want to go...just needed this nudge.
Pain, sharpening, suffering: they can be so grounding and clarifying.
Jan 10, 2025
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So much of what I'm proud of has been inner work that isn't always noticeable on the outside. Recently I've been given a beautiful opportunity that brought up a lot of fear in me, which I've been through enough to realize that it was based on past hurt or taking on other people's opinions as a kind of judgemental character in my head. I'm so grateful to have the support of people in my life that helped me talk through what was going on. My husband, one of the best people in the whole world imho, shared with me that developing Self (the true, unique you) is recognizing when fear is just fear, and doing it despite that. Each time we are able to do that, our true self gets stronger and stronger.
Since I worked through that I've had so much more energy in my day to day life. It's like I slowly was becoming buried without even realizing it. I've learned that the goal in growing isn't necessarily to change, but rather to become more and more our true selves. It's a constant process. Barnacles attach, and we work to notice and remove them so we can swim smoothly.
May 27, 2025
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it really sucks to lend a lot of time and effort to something, only to realize it doesnt light you up as much as you thought it would.
that just happened to me. however, it means i have more energy to put into the things that make me feel good. :)
Mar 28, 2025
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I recently decided to take a gap semester while approaching the finish line of my degree. I had a big ol cry about it, sat with it, told the people I loved and asked only for their support, and started carrying myself through.
When it comes to the push and shove of change, look behind you and notice the ways in which the universe/ your intuition knew about the decision all along. For me, I saw that I held left a trail of clues of my better-knowingness.
I originally was supposed to take this semester as part of an exchange program. I remember months ago, holding off to the last minute to apply to this university. Upon acceptance, I received emails about advice for students, my next steps, all of which I mostly ignored. Upon arriving to the UK, I didnāt participate in a lot of the international student sessions I signed up for. I arrived 2 weeks before classes, and spent time exploring, making art, travelling and not going to more than one information session. I didnāt get my student ID, sign up for the wifi, look over my classas in depth. Iām a grade-A nerd, so the burnout was visible before I even processed it.
Making this decision, to take time to make time, felt so incredibly right. the confidence in trusting that yeahā¦ I needed thatā¦ was reverberated in every conversation I had weeks forward. even my next steps, talking to advisors, shuffling paperwork, telling my professorsā¦ none of it felt as hard as actually applying to this university.
You know more than you think you do. focus on what youāve been hinting at all along. Trust yourself, and the march will surely continue
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Oct 23, 2024
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this is worthy of celebration:Ā the lack of videoāautoplay video, noisy inane video, panicky video, algorithmic, dumb video, rabbit hole video, any videoāon pi.fyi is a good thing
Oct 5, 2024
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this is going to hurt āĀ A LOT āĀ but it's getting to the point where there's no other option
Mar 11, 2025