smoke a blunt. say goodbye to ur lover that you have been with every day for three years. fight back tears and weed paranoia. get lost as soon as you walk into the airport. run into ur partners cheating ass homeboy at his tsa job. get ur hair stuck in ur bag and have a tsa agent get it unstuck. get ur sunscreen and bugspray confiscated. drop your half gallon metal water bottle in the middle of the walkway and spill it everywhere. have your eyebrows bleached so you forget and wonder why everyone is looking at you crazy all day. i am a survivor.
nothing wrong with crying or having an emotional response to live music, but maybe some us learn to cry quietly not sob? soft suggestion, i’m empathetic but also distracted by the violent outburst of tears in the mosh pit
i changed nearly everything about my life including myself very intentionally and in stages. through journaling and some tough decisions, boundaries, and support for what i was doing i completely altered everything i didn’t like. you can’t heal in the environment that caused you harm and my body was rejecting everything. 1. put study on hold (i didn’t quit it but just paused it until i was ready to start again on my own terms) 2. moved address to an area i love and thats right near the water 3. gained some creative outlets i would have never thought about allowing myself to showcase 4. found a workplace that i really like with people that have become my close friends 5. forced myself to move my body more 6. forced myself to eat better 7. romanticised everything and prioritised things i wanted short term for once 8. travelled!