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š§āāļø
itās not separate from me; itās the vessel I inhabit to navigate the world. I try to avoid things that i know will make me feel physically bad and do things that I know will make me feel physically good. I eat food that feels nourishing and pleasurable for me; I sleep when I need to sleep and move when I need to move.
Itās something I try my best not to think about too much or to assign labels or judgments. Itās changed over the years in many ways and also stayed the same in others.
Most of the external points of comparison we use to examine ourselves are rooted in media standards that are fictitious and manufactured to make us feel bad about ourselves and buy products to fill an endless void of lack.
the societal expectation to LOVE your body is an unrealistic aspiration for many. It can sometimes be better to strive to view it in a neutral way, to be grateful for the things youāre able to do and even just for being here. You only get one life (as far as we know with absolute certainty) so why spend it needlessly criticizing yourself.
Anyway I recommend watching The Substance ā¤ļø
Itās something I try my best not to think about too much or to assign labels or judgments. Itās changed over the years in many ways and also stayed the same in others.
Most of the external points of comparison we use to examine ourselves are rooted in media standards that are fictitious and manufactured to make us feel bad about ourselves and buy products to fill an endless void of lack.
the societal expectation to LOVE your body is an unrealistic aspiration for many. It can sometimes be better to strive to view it in a neutral way, to be grateful for the things youāre able to do and even just for being here. You only get one life (as far as we know with absolute certainty) so why spend it needlessly criticizing yourself.
Anyway I recommend watching The Substance ā¤ļø
Sep 29, 2024
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āOur bodies are the least interesting thing about us, and I feel sad that so many people, including myself, have these self-limiting beliefs that imply that it is not true. It's feverish. I lost weight once a few years ago. I ended up gaining it all back, plus some, and to be honest, I have been emotionally torturing myself since then, and let's be even more honest, I really have been emotionally torturing myself for my whole life. I want peace, and I want my body not to control my actions and decisions, and I want it not to restrict me further in my life. I fantasize a lot about what my life will be like when I finally get it together, and I don't know if that will ever happen. It's like I'm yearning for a lover I will never have and everyday I'm like damn if I could only get kissed by that lover my p*ssy would be dripping , and I would probably eat more fruits and vegetables , and shake my ass at the sun and maybe wear a thong to the beach and lay in the sand , and let the sun kiss my face and my body WITHOUT being afraid of getting skin cancer , and getting exterminated.
2d ago
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āļøthis just came back to me after a while. it used to be on repeat in my head like a mantra, even to an unhealthy degree, but i forgot how powerful it can be in moderation.
itās so simple, so obvious, of course, but thereās a difference between knowing and understanding it. feeling it click is so freeing and like a revelation.
but it feels good to know that you are entirely within your own control (exceptions exist but for the most part) and you can make yourself whatever you want to be. nothing can get inside your head or take your body away from you. thereās definitely a negative side too, but it feels good to know that.
itās so simple, so obvious, of course, but thereās a difference between knowing and understanding it. feeling it click is so freeing and like a revelation.
but it feels good to know that you are entirely within your own control (exceptions exist but for the most part) and you can make yourself whatever you want to be. nothing can get inside your head or take your body away from you. thereās definitely a negative side too, but it feels good to know that.
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šThis will be a long one, sorry in advance. Coincidentally, I was recently going through all of my bookshelves to sort what Iām keeping and what Iām giving away. I found some older journals of mine; Iām historically very bad at keeping journals but I always try and usually manage a few to even several months of some years. Looking back at them was bittersweet because I was in the same boat, severely depressed most years and wondering what the point of anything was. But at the same time, I got to see things like old bucket lists I made myself and all of the things Iāve checked off. It was an interesting moment of considering what my younger self would be thinking of me and what Iāve done in the years since whichever year it each book was from.
While I wouldnāt say time makes everything better, I will say that when you just keep pushing through eventually there comes a point where youāre more at peace than ever and you donāt even realize it at first. I donāt think thereās one universal āMeaning of life,ā but I do think the human experience is so complex and we have to teach ourselves to give our self some grace.Ā Ā
A few years ago I was at an all time high for stress, I have an autoimmune disease and the flare ups were only worsened by the stress, anxiety, and depression I was feeling, I felt burnt out and like I had put my whole life on hold for other people. Iāve since learned that while it sounds funny on the internet, free will is a beautiful thing. Choosing where and with who you spend your energy, doing things just for the love of doing them, traveling even if itās by yourself, taking yourself out to dinner or cooking for one. Iāve learned that thereās no point feeling embarrassment or anxiety about doing things by myself because really no one is paying that much attention or judging in the first place, but I also tell myself things like āyouāll never see these people again anyway, who cares,ā lol. A big one for me personally was learning boundaries and gray rockingā donāt let other peopleās emotions, moods, and manipulative behaviors dictate the way youāre feeling. But all of these little, seemingly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things (especially when youāre depressed), things that I was teaching myself along the way really helped me learn to start living for myself rather than for other people or any huge existential purpose.Ā
So, while your question was āwhatās the meaning lifeā and I donāt think anyone has a concrete answer, my unsolicited advice is that you have to keep learning yourself. How do you want to spend your time? What things spark joy for you? What things make you feel worse? Try new foods and experience new places, learn, go to museums. Pick up a new hobby. Go out in nature more, sometimes sitting in the sunshine really does wonders.
Alright, Iāll stop my little tangent now, but wishing the bestš«¶š»
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