I can definitely relate. Do you do in-person or zoom meetings? It sounds like you have a supportive community. Do you stay after meetings for fellowship? That might be a more direct way to make sober friends and get some numbers. If you meet people your age that way then you can ask people if they’d be up to getting a coffee or attending a concert with you. Most AA people are apt to say yes to those kinds of things. Some sober folks might be willing to go to a bar with you but it depends on their level of comfort in doing that or how much sober time they have. You’re right that you’re not likely to meet sober people at a bar. Ask people for their numbers to connect outside of meetings. You can ask what kind of activities they do to get some ideas. I do that too. It might be out of your comfort zone but it sounds like it might help.
Sep 29, 2024
Related Recs
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1. Visiting your local NA bottle shop. In Toronto, for example, they host themed nights, and everyone attending is sober.
2. Building connections through online communities.
3. Attending punk shows.
4. When I began my sobriety journey, I realized many people in my community and network were already sober. I started conversations with them and set up coffee dates and chats.
Oct 6, 2024
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I wish I had a better rec than starting your own sober-first gathering. I'm going to be watching the recs that unfold here for ideas.
Your story is familiar. I quit drinking a year and a half ago. My existing community, many of whom drink, is fantastic and really supportive. I have no problem being around drinking or people who are drinking, and I often am. Not part of AA.
Things are good. But I sometimes pine for gatherings with people who have chosen, on purpose, to be alcohol-free
Sep 29, 2024
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I moved to a new city during covid and times were tough here for a while, but this is what worked for me:
- befriending your coworkers (sometimes they’re really cool and will become your bff, most of them time they’re fine to occasionally hang w)
-being a regular at a coffee shop, bar, or concert/show venue (hit up the familiar faces and they’re likely to introduce you to their crew as well)
-bumble bff (kind of the worst but also fun- I met a few of my close friends on here who then introduced me to their friend groups. Mostly great interactions but be weary of some ppl trying to use it as a sly dating tool)
-get involved in the community! i host a book club and I play soccer on a local rec team. I’ve met so many people that I would’ve probably never encountered otherwise through Bookclub- don’t be afraid of multigenerational friendships! With soccer, I’ve met such a diverse crowd and it’s encouraged me to attempt to learn Spanish. It’s nice to be able to get a group of ppl together and play/practice when you all have a night free, or go and watch a game! If you’re sporty, you can also invite your new sporty pals out for runs, hikes, or other workout type activities!
Aug 20, 2024
Top Recs from @cncl
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I would add bananas too, as a magical trio. Toast some bread and slap these together and feel the love.
Aug 24, 2024
Brand new single from Mk.gee. Same vibes as the album from earlier this year. It sounds like driving alone at night and feeling your feelings. He’s on tour and I’m seeing him next Friday. Link to song here.
Aug 30, 2024