Rec | Y'ALL ARE SHIT FRIENDS

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i've been seeing tiktoks of people asking their friends to pick them up from the airport/help moving and no one agrees. honestly what kind of a friend are you if you only care about doing fun stuff together and disappearing in the time of need. and honestly same goes for ignoring stuff in public like you see a woman carrying heavy bags and you just walk by? or when people don't offer their seats in transport for the elderly or sick? very strange to me. be kind to others personal boundaries are overrated

@ru_mental

Sep 14, 2024

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IM THAT FRIEND WHO IS NEVER AVAILABLE

i work 10-12 hours shifts while also in uni and in my final year. whenever my friends ask my to hang out the answer is usually no, especially if it’s impromptu. it’s not that we don’t want to, it’s that we physically cannot. i’m either exhausted, have to study and drowning in material, or im working and am just desperate to go home and shower and unwind from the day. your friends do want to see you, capitalism has just sucked their soul. all my hangouts i have to plan around 3 weeks in advance because whatever little time i do have free the week you ask i need to dedicate to my family and partner i miss all my friends dearly and i try my best to make time for them, but it’s hard to make time for someone else when i don’t even have time for myself anyways, cut them a bit of slack! and maybe you can make some new friends that are more ready to meet up at a drop of a hat, but don’t ditch the ones that want to see you, but just need to organise it in advance

@jilly

May 14, 2025

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helping and being helped by your friends

every few years when some demented opinion piece starts circulating about not “inconveniencing” your friends, i feel sorry for people who subscribe to it. i love helping my friends move, fix things, figure things out together! and i am learning to love asking for the same help. we can reduce each other’s suffering ♥

@bigstrongguy

Feb 1, 2025

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HelpinG friends with annoying tasks for nothing in return

Think: driving them to the airport during rush hour, moving furniture on a summer day, (in my case, see photo) cutting away at their badly overgrown garden when you are not a gardening gal. Or painting their bedroom on a whim, replacing their windshield fluid, or wrangling their demon cat for a trip to the vet. I read a Manrepeller article (RIP) years ago that talked about how helping friends with these tedious, unrewarding tasks is where the real work of friendship begins. You don’t get so see how they get frustrated over brunch, but you do when you’re both unsuccessfully dragging a couch around a staircase corner, and getting To bond and troubleshoot that frustration opens whole new doors for closeness. This wisdom has never led me astray! I almost always leave these kinds of labor-based hangouts feeling closer and more held in friendship!