i work 10-12 hours shifts while also in uni and in my final year. whenever my friends ask my to hang out the answer is usually no, especially if it’s impromptu. it’s not that we don’t want to, it’s that we physically cannot.
i’m either exhausted, have to study and drowning in material, or im working and am just desperate to go home and shower and unwind from the day.
your friends do want to see you, capitalism has just sucked their soul. all my hangouts i have to plan around 3 weeks in advance because whatever little time i do have free the week you ask i need to dedicate to my family and partner
i miss all my friends dearly and i try my best to make time for them, but it’s hard to make time for someone else when i don’t even have time for myself
anyways, cut them a bit of slack! and maybe you can make some new friends that are more ready to meet up at a drop of a hat, but don’t ditch the ones that want to see you, but just need to organise it in advance
May 14, 2025
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i have friends for coffee, friends for late nights on the town, friends for smoking weed and playing smash bros, friends for long walks, friends for long talks
it’s not that i compartmentalise, it’s just that i meet my friends where they’re at, and that seems to work for us
Apr 23, 2024
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i've always been slightly worried about asking friends to catch up, meet up, or spend time together out of the blue but maybe not everyone hates me idk !! to more time with friends 🫶
Feb 13, 2024
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This piece really spoke to me, and as recently as 2 weeks ago. My bestie (other friends) and I are just in very different phases of life. She had been busy raising a family and I had far more time on my hands. I had understood, of cos. But still I resented that I had 'lost' a cherished long time friend, I knew in my head, that it's entirely legit that she is busy. And she had felt she had nothing to contribute to our friendship since her stories are all about babies and kids. But after looking around for substitutes and other activities - actually found no one/anything that has any semblance of what we had. So I decided to just call her and just made that reconnection again. I had accepted that 10 mins of her time daily far outweighs 10 hours of someone I don't connect with or have no fond history with.
This doesn't just apply to friendships I realise. Because building and maintaining relationships takes actual work. I mean you both have to want to. And you have to have tradeoffs. You can't be rigid, and you can't get all your needs met... But what I learned, is this agreement to still call and leave messages, text back and forth. We had to try different modes and different ways. Previously I also got really upset when I finally got hold of the person, and start off with angry accusations. This too didn't work, because he would get pissed because I was pissed. We still don't have it pat-down (friends/relationships) but my changed perspective did help, especially for me.
https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/relationships/friendship-maintaining-healthy-relationships-text-calls-memes-5e66e221?st=2jl247gjqb814wr&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
Apr 10, 2024
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we don’t make jewellery like we used to!! where did the whimsy go!! the uniqueness!! the daintiness!! the literal ethereal feeling that this watch brings!!!!
I CANNOT FIND IT ANYWHEREEEEEE
May 24, 2025
Feb 19, 2025
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i’m not elaborating
May 26, 2025