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In my opinion, the key to being a bitch is being respectful.
Now the way you apply this is you need to respect yourself and others. As long as you use common sense and let others know what is bothering/ not working/ inconvenient to you in a way that is not meant to hurt anyone simply communicating clearly and explaining (I understand that this might be controversial -you don't owe anyone explanations but it is a relationship that you care about and would like to keep putting the effort of communicating your reasons seems reasonable to me-
If this does not work, it is time to walk away. No drama or bad blood, keep a cold yet polite (it works especially if you are overly polite) distance.
This approach mitigates the fear of not people please because you are doing NOTHING wrong.
Jul 22, 2024
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if you’re person with anxiety like me or a person who experiences misogyny (also me) then chances are you could always get a little meaner when it comes to asking acceptable behaviour of others. looking back on times when, in the moment, i was worried that i was being too harsh by telling people how they can treat me, retrospectively i have almost never ever in my life felt i did the wrong thing. realizing this has made standing up for myself 10x easier every time i find myself needing to. showing others grace is not incompatible with showing up for yourself, in fact, one necessitates the other!
Mar 14, 2024
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What I mean by this is, it is very important to communicate your needs and make your boundaries clear. You did mention you've tried it all, which leads me to believe that your mother is unwilling to listen. Sometimes people, for whatever reason, can't see past their own mental models for the world and are unable to extend empathy (yes, even to their own children). For your own mental health and well-being, as well as that of your daughter's, it might be best to limit contact. Or state clearly that communication will be limited if her behavior continues. You are in no way wrong for how you feel, it is a terrible feeling to be under a constant microscope. People may have good intentions with their advice, but they must understand that there is a distinction between care and micromanaging. One is sweet, while the latter is extremely harmful. It can foster mistrust in relationships, resentment, and can even lead to personal feelings of doubt, lack of self-assurance, and low self-esteem (i speak from exepereince). Constant degredation is extremely harmful for the mind; i am sorry that you are facing this difficult situation, but i hope you choose to do what will make you most happy and will be kinder for your heart.
Jun 1, 2024
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whenever i find myself in these situations i remind myself that we are all subject to the same cycles of suffering, the same grasping and the same resistance to change. i can recall many times where i have been an annoyance or a negative person and it's usually due to an internal problem that i'm dealing with. i like to give people the benefit of the doubt and remember that their behavior is likely a result of their own suffering.... always reminding myself that the negativity of others is not mine to carry. i think that the western way of thinking (huge emphasis on self-centeredness, individuality, seeking for power) allows us to slip into this headspace, where you are upset with others for not doing things the way you would or simply doing things that disrupt our own activities, very easily. it's not necessarily your fault but more so how we've been conditioned... practicing compassion seems easy in theory but can be very hard in practice sometimes. providing yourself with gentle reminders about the truths of our silly little existence is the best way to counteract the irritation you feel at times. remind yourself that we are just little animals and that these feelings are just weather and it will pass.
Jan 29, 2025
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Jul 21, 2024
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my phone broke and I was broke. so I had to go though 2 months of no phone. I have never been so peaceful. I now know the route to get to places (because I had no maps). Got the habit of only replying to texts at 6:30pm and make plans for the next day at that time. I read so many books and was so notinfluenced by social media. Even the things I was eating changed a lot, no more fast meals you can make in less then 5 min, instead I asked my grandma what to cook and guys it’s awesome. BREAK YOUR PHONE
Nov 21, 2024
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Getting to the checkout and realizing that the price on the shelf was wrong and you actually don't think the real price is worth it, but the cashier is looking at you.
May 16, 2024