Rec | BEING AN INVOLVED PARENT

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It has been the greatest thing to become a girl dad. I’ve been able to be more available than my dad has ever been able to be — that’s not a dig at him, he’s always been an incredible dad but he worked and worked and worked for us to have a better life. I don’t think he ever learned how to brush my sister’s hair, something I get to do every day. I don’t think he ever bought groceries with one of us during the middle of the day, something that’s a part of my weekly routine. I am realizing that the guilt that comes with being the oldest child of an immigrant, that inner pressure and need to succeed, might not have anything to do with my career but everything to do with my ability to be the dad my father could never be: available and open and involved.
My dad was incredible for the few hours a day I got to see him after he got home from work and that sacrifice allowed me to build a career that’s flexible enough to be a stay-at-home parent. I’ll never be able to thank him enough for that.
I know there are some parents here (happy late Mother’s Day / early Father’s Day) who get this, and some who will get this soon enough. Be the parent you wished your parents could have been. And if you were lucky to have amazing parents like I was, try to be even better than them.

@marianoleonczik

Jun 16, 2024

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@theclack

I'm incredibly lucky to be able to be this for our kid too, but it's definitely a mix between luck and intentionality, and I'm happy to see more dads breaking out of the emotionally detached stereotype these days. I still see a lot of parents that are capable but just kind of complain about parenting stuff and fall into the same negative cycles of past generations. I'm also the elder sibling of an immigrant, and I think there was an emphasis on financial and physical security there that didn't leave much room for connection. I challenge myself every day to be better and unlearn the familial anxieties that favor toughness over tenderness.

Jun 16, 2024

@theclack

Jun 16, 2024

@capyboppy

this is the absolute sweetest. happy early father’s day! what a blessing to have the capacity and tools (and commitment!) to be a present parent 🙏

Jun 16, 2024

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