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Being an involved parent

It has been the greatest thing to become a girl dad. I’ve been able to be more available than my dad has ever been able to be — that’s not a dig at him, he’s always been an incredible dad but he worked and worked and worked for us to have a better life. I don’t think he ever learned how to brush my sister’s hair, something I get to do every day. I don’t think he ever bought groceries with one of us during the middle of the day, something that’s a part of my weekly routine. I am realizing that the guilt that comes with being the oldest child of an immigrant, that inner pressure and need to succeed, might not have anything to do with my career but everything to do with my ability to be the dad my father could never be: available and open and involved. My dad was incredible for the few hours a day I got to see him after he got home from work and that sacrifice allowed me to build a career that’s flexible enough to be a stay-at-home parent. I’ll never be able to thank him enough for that. I know there are some parents here (happy late Mother’s Day / early Father’s Day) who get this, and some who will get this soon enough. Be the parent you wished your parents could have been. And if you were lucky to have amazing parents like I was, try to be even better than them.

@marianoleonczik

Jun 16, 2024

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Pretty in pink

My dad always said he based his single father parenting on Harry Dean Stanton in this. Which is funny because its both so accurate (my dad also never remembers what food I hate but is good at picking out clothes I like) and so inaccurate (my dad is dependable and financially responsible). Ive always thought it shows how even though he might not always be the best dad at remembering stuff and being exactly what I want him to be, he always loves me and is there when I need him. Plus a (perhaps over) reliance and trust in my independence and creativity.

@mouse

Mar 6, 2024

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Being a (cool) stay-at-home

Ahhh yes, creative dad stays at home with wild toddler. It’s the greatest thing. She’s coloring within the lines now (I don't feed her if she messes up) ((kiddddinggggg)). We go on long walks. We do coffee runs together and she’s even learned how to tap-to-pay and tip 20%. Most days are easy; some days are brutal. But on the brutal days I have literal thousands of photos and videos of her to remind me that this sacrifice of being home while mom works is worth it, and that I can be more physically & emotionally present than my dad could have ever wished to be. Trying to cherish it. (Also if you were wondering, yes I am a behemoth)

@marianoleonczik

Apr 12, 2024

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Starting over

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.” — Anaïs Nin This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share. I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice. I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see. I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and  logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay! Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible. I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom. Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me 💌

@taterhole

Mar 16, 2025

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Never changing

My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌

@taterhole

Feb 23, 2025

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Finally Quitting the job that you hate

Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ✅💅

@taterhole

Feb 27, 2025

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