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maggie nelson says “loneliness is solitude with a problem” and wrote about how if one does one’s solitude right, the prize is an ability to love without losing yourself entirely. this has really helped me reframe how i see the past few years of feeling lonely and my discomfort with being single - these days i’ve been sorta leaning into my “solitude” and just really working on coming back to myself and my identity, and trying to see myself as whole even while on my own + appreciating the platonic love i already have in my life
Jun 2, 2024
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I don’t know who I would be without my solitude but I also think I would have fared better if I weren’t so alone all the time. it’s not that I don’t have friends or family to rely on, it’s just that I don’t know who to be other than to be alone.
Mar 16, 2025
Since some big life changes that have left me feeling incredibly alone. I’ve had time to reflect on it and I wanted to share what has helped me so far..
1. loneliness, in its solitude, is an emotion, a way in which we feel. I’ve found it so difficult to stop thinking ‘I have no one and I am alone’. but try to replace it with ‘I am feeling lonely right now, how can I stop this?’ Everything is temporary, including this feeling.
2. Find autonomy with your time. When I became lonely I soon became depressed. A vicious cycle of feeling lonely but only refining yourself to your bed and room. You don’t need to do things with people to help this feeling. Just do the thing! find hobbies and activities that you enjoy first. It gives you more autonomy and confidence.
3. You probably don’t need that person that you think will ‘fix’ the problem. How you feel should not be dependent on anyone but yourself.
Any other tips? I still feel like shit. It’s just some realisations I’ve had.
*pic because nice*
Jan 8, 2025
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having older friends who can share their wisdom and life experiences and older-person quirks is so fun and wholesome
May 20, 2024
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genuinely believe journaling has saved my mental health but doing it in public alone is such a better alternative to going on your phone and also if you have a pretty notebook it's a great conversation starter
Jun 18, 2024
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if you expect everything you make to be a masterpiece you’ll never get started on anything….let yourself make “bad” stuff in order to get to the “good” stuff
Jun 6, 2024