maybe that sounds a little annoying, but i used to wait around for a surge of manic energy to hit me in order to find the motivation to get out of bed and do things. these days, i try to remind myself that i matter, and if i care about myself then i should do things for my mind and body that are fulfilling. this isn’t perfect, and there are definitely still bad days. but you owe it to yourself to try, i hope things get easier :)
May 6, 2024
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it's been challenging for me these days to do anything for my present and future selves. but what always shifts everything back into focus, is the thought of doing things to make my younger self happy; whether through the enjoyment of something, or the pursuit of my dreams. my younger self's happiness fills me with renewed purpose.
the most moving thing out of all of this, is the fact that my younger, present, and future selves, are all me. in caring for one version of myself, i'm caring for all versions. i'm caring for me.
if you're having a tough time finding the drive to take care of future you, think about what you would do for younger you. i'd do anything for younger me.
Nov 23, 2024
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this just came back to me after a while. it used to be on repeat in my head like a mantra, even to an unhealthy degree, but i forgot how powerful it can be in moderation.
it’s so simple, so obvious, of course, but there’s a difference between knowing and understanding it. feeling it click is so freeing and like a revelation.
but it feels good to know that you are entirely within your own control (exceptions exist but for the most part) and you can make yourself whatever you want to be. nothing can get inside your head or take your body away from you. there‘s definitely a negative side too, but it feels good to know that.
Apr 17, 2025
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The dial that controls my creative output has not been cranked to the max lately and I’ve been getting upset at myself for it. Its felt like I’ve been wasting my free time by doing things that I like instead of things that are productive, and in turn enjoying those things less because I’m thinking about how I should be bettering myself or my world in some way.
I know there will be a time when the juices flow again because they have once before, and while I am in this dry spell I’m trying not to crucify myself too rigorously for not doing much writing and instead trying to make it to the end of the day without telling myself that I need to kill myself too many times to be deemed socially or even asocially acceptable.
Maybe a less prideful individual would just call it being depressed, but I must convolute around taking the easy way out and chalking it up to some misfiring neurons to instead convince myself that I am a cog in some unknowable cosmic engine and I simply must wait for some 7th dimensional machine elf to power me back on before Feeling Like Myself Again
1d ago
Top Recs from @avril
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the scenery is so beautiful, and it reaffirms my fear of living in a small rural town
Aug 1, 2024
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most of the time you'll get the canned "good, and you?" but once in a while somebody will suddenly give you a very alert look, and they might be willing to share some of what they've been going through. life is hard, but very much worth living! trust me when i say that it feels good to be there for others, even if it's just you listening for a few minutes.
Jun 6, 2024