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Few things fill my heart as much as knowing that the path I walk was treaded by people like me who have lived and continue to live full and rich lives like the one I aspire to live. To then create a community space to give them a chance to tell me their stories, share their feelings, and reflect about their lives so that myself and other community members can feel like all of this is worth it and good… that it gets better… that we have older people to count on for a hug or a wake-up call…
Today I organized an event like this in my community and my heart is really really full. This will drive me for a little while <3
Feb 29, 2024
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as i come closer and closer to accepting my identity and taking steps to actually transition i mourn the people i grew up with who i called by different names than they go by now, who grew out their natural hair color or chose one socially acceptable, who used different pronouns and dreamt of life as a boy- who now can’t wait to be a wife… im the only one left it feels. something must have shifted between 2017 to now, and the losses i can count on my fingers. they’re all buried and i don’t think any of them are coming back. do you remember middle school- where it was harder to find someone who Wasn’t queer and it seemed like everyone was more themselves? i cant bury this and i wont, but it makes me sad to think about the ones who are still sleeping.
Apr 16, 2025
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they are facing aging alone in a world that is built for the young. they have stories to share and oftentimes no one to share them with. show them grace (remember the world has changed immensely since they were young), and have a cup of tea.
i read the my brilliant friend series 6 years ago and a few quotes hit me like a ton of bricks and have been living in the notes app since then:
"the world has changed tremendously and belongs more and more to them, less and less to me..."
"Now I was distressed that nothing of me would endure through time..."
"Unlike stories, real life, when it has passed, inclined towards obscurity, not clarity."
Feb 12, 2025
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the other day, someone who is a few years younger than me told me that they look up to me.
they casually mentioned it in conversation.
and i started to cry.
for the past few months i have been consumed by grief in a way that has forced me to lose much of myself, and i’ve been working really hard to find who i am again. or at least the me that i can be now. i feel like an absolute wreck, a crash out, a mid-life crisis divorced father stuck in a 23 year old girls body.
it was nice to be reminded that all of that is just about being human. that it doesn’t define me. i am only evolving.
i like that others can still see greatness in you even when you don’t feel it yourself.
Feb 24, 2025
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New follower? OOP! Does that men we're getting married?
You re-rec'd me? You want me so bad let's make out.
The baddies wanna be mutuals? What if I cum about it? Much to consider...
PI.FYI dating-app mode when???
Oct 15, 2024
My last break up left me feeling super neglected so I got together with a friend and we went to the beach together. I cooked for us and she drove. We spent the day there and it was just so nice to be under the sun and to feel the wind on my face and under my dress. I pretended to be a middle-age divorcé who leaves her family to feel young and free again by the beach, smoke, read, drink, dance, and flirt with hotties.
None of that happened ofc, we just went to the beach and ate home-made burgers, but having a friend to entertain my delusion and hang out at the beach was equally as healing. I will bever forget that day
Mar 16, 2024
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A little personal, but being non-binary, I grew up very dissociated from my body and my time, so I don’t remember a good chunk of my formative years and have retained none of my hobbies. Recently tho, I have been trying to piece myself back together, so I have been spending a lot of time on my own. Another thing about me is that I have crushes everywhere I go, so I spend a lot of time loving others. After breaking-up with an ex that made me feel very neglected qnd unappreciated, I decided that I was going to give myself as much love and attention as I give my crushes and lovers. This has changed me.
I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that don’t feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, I’ve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share.
Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too.
It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you don’t need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and that’s really cool <3
Mar 11, 2024