⭐
My New Year’s resolution was going to be ‘stop being so critical’ however I have a degree in critical thought and I’ve come to realise that being judgemental is what makes me good at philosophy. perhaps my loud distaste for many things (and people) is a small vice to spring from my greatest of virtues.
Jan 31, 2024
Related Recs
📰
i judge people, everyone judges people, the second you walk into a room with other people in it, you get judged. whether it be good or bad judgement, you're always going to be judged by other people, it's just knowing when and what to say. if someone walks in with a haircut that i personally don't like on them, but they really like it, i'm not going to burst their bubble and say that i don't like it, because that's just mean. if something someone is doing is genuinely a bad thing to do, then i will let them know but in a nice way. i'll approach the topic in as civil a manner as i can and if they continue to do this bad thing then i might start getting a little angry or mean with them. but if someone's done or doing something that doesn't affect me or the people around them and they're happy with what they're doing, i'm not going to say that i don't like it, even if its the truth, because their happy and i don't want to ruin that.
as someone who has grown up constantly being told by my own mother everything bad she thinks about me as soon as i tell her something or walk into a room, i know i don't appreciate when people put bad judgement onto me for something that's not affecting them. so i always try my best to do the same for others, and of course occasionally i will say something that's a little out of order, everyone does at some stage. you just need to accept your mistakes, grow from them and move on.
it's really not that difficult to be kind!!
4d ago
🫶
This is probably less of a choice and more of a personality defect. It’s ultimately an alienating and soul crushing way to live your life. But there is no way to be successful without being highly critical, at least as an editor. The danger is when you turn it on yourself and people you are close to (inevitable). In a culture where we’re sold blind positivity (profit motive), it's important to stay critical, to stay on your toes. As an editor this is most important. But it’s also important to be an “A-type” thinker instead of a “B-type” thinker: you have to offer ways to improve what it is you’re criticizing, and not just be critical for the sake of criticizing.
May 10, 2023
🧛
Recently a close friend (my ex-boyfriend) called me a misanthrope. I felt a little insulted, but I didn’t disagree… Scrooge is a misanthrope. That guy notoriously really sucks until he isn’t a misanthrope anymore. Then everyone decides he’s better. I’m not sure I agree with this. Maybe Scrooge was right all along! Scrooge’s real issue was the degree in which he was misanthropic (also his hoarding of wealth but that’s not what this is about). You can’t let it control your life. But a little bit of misanthropy never hurt anyone. Am I really a misanthrope? Sure, yeah, I don’t really like people! Or at least… I don’t like most people. Or maybe what I mean is that I don’t like people because I have to or because I should. The sole reason I like a person isn’t just because they are talented or successful or beautiful or (ugh) popular. Sure, if someone I do like has those qualities then that’s great of course… But for a long time, I think I may have deluded myself that some of my friendships were deeper than my attraction to those qualities and how they benefited me and vice versa. Like an ouroboros of narcissism disguised as friendship and intimacy. For a long time, I was nervous to give in to what felt like my less personable traits, like being critical of people, or being reclusive, because I didn’t want to degrade my social capital, I didn’t want to be perceived as the bitch I was afraid I really was deep down inside. But the more I felt guilt over my feelings of dislike, the more I started to hate myself, the more I started to act in ways that I never would have, had I just been more conscious of the reasons behind my lifestyle in the first place. And I know that not everybody has experienced this, but I know I’m not the only one who has. The realization that I was living a life that was a rejection of my actual self in order to protect my place in “the world” was not an easy one to come to. It’s not like it’s easy to admit to yourself that you aren’t immune to the shallowest impulses of human behavior and connection. It’s so much easier to continue pretending that you enjoy the presence of everyone around you, that you like all the things they do and make and say. It’s easy to accept someone as being interesting and smart because everyone says they are and because they are right there looking at you, talking to you. And so it’s then very easy to assume that you are also smart and interesting, because they are, or at least everyone says they are. And if questioning someone's merit also questions yours? Well it’s just easier to not. It’s easy because it feels good to be liked, it feels good to be liked by people who other people like. It feels good to receive admiration for simply ‘being’. But just because something is easy doesn’t mean it’s right. And just because something feels good doesn’t mean it’s good for you. And this is where a little touch of misanthropy comes in to save the day. And not like, hate for mankind! Just an acceptance of your own moral failings, and those of the people around you. It’s weird because as soon as I took myself out of the center of the dissatisfactions of my life, only then was I finally able to honestly relate to everyone. It’s like… We are all equal to each other in our inadequacies, but then different in what we do about it. So, once you’ve come to the realization that you might suck and that the people around you might suck, and that both of these things lend themselves to making the entirety of your life suck, you can take action!
Oct 13, 2022
Top Recs from @heidegirl
⭐
if I go somewhere (train station, highway, supermarket) and there are massive screens which play ads on a loop, purposefully bright and loud and situated in a public space I experience this as an evil. It actively harms me. i don’t think we need to go any further than Times Square to find proof that aesthetic value is at least partially grounded in moral value.
Jan 31, 2024
⭐
You are obligated to make a good faith attempt to like your friends boyfriend five separate times. However five times is quite generous of you and if your don’t like them on the sixth occassion it is out of your hands.
Jan 28, 2024
🌱
Pilates + not eating processed foods + minimum 8 hours sleep + no coffee past 12pm… who knew feeling like an anxious, sleepless, over caffeinated mess all the time didn’t have to be the case!
May 23, 2024