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Iāve noticed a counter culture movement brewing online where the emphasis seems to be on rejecting neoliberal ideas of individualism and increasingly atomized living as a sort of virtue for the sake of our children who would suffer at the hands of climate catastrophe or just the cold hard reality of consciousnesses. Accounts like @carnivoreaurelius or @saveyoursons offer practical advice about the benefits of high quality red meats, the dangers of seed oils, not sunning your asshole enough and soulless dating apps. They provide some respite from the nauseating reality of the current leftist ideology thatās left a lot of us childless at 30 because of eugenicist level logic like āwhy would I contribute to our planetās overpopulation issue?ā. Pundits like Jordan Peterson and Candace Owens have built entire careers off this grift of āno nonsenseā steps to a better, more righteous life. Donāt get me wrong, are these neoconservative pysops? Sure. But at this point itās just about choosing which psyop makes life on Earth tolerable for you. I grew up in a culture that shunned the idea of marriage and children altogether because it reminded us of the traumatic lives our female ancestors just had to accept due to their lack of autonomy. Some cope by stating how relieved they are to enjoy their 20s without the responsibility of family and that they have plenty of time not realizing how hard pregnancy is on the body after the age of 32 or how expensive it is to freeze your eggs or adopt. I was repulsed by the idea for most of my life and then it hit me about a year agoā¦without a solid partner and cute fat babies around, life is kind of a hollow boring nightmare.
Dec 6, 2022
Related Recs
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A lot of my friends (myself included) got married young; I myself locked down marriage by 22. What Iāve noticed is that when youāre married younger, you donāt get to develop into the generalized stereotypical douche bag archetypes that guys hit in their 20ās ā indie sleeze ball, frat bro with allegations, overly into himself athletic dude, guy who is too niche into their hobbies, neighborhood womanizer, etc.
This doesnāt mean weāre perfect, just means we missed out on what could be peak horrific boy era that you see from 21-30. What has been weird though is seeing how many guys in that age range now are leaning into theā¦again STEREOTYPED incel/incel adjacent persona. Itās so strange. I donāt associate myself with many of these guys but I sure do see them (and hear about them) from my friends.
Tie that into the stereotype that men shouldnāt go through therapy (for myself, inherited from a strong immigrant father who has done hard labor since 19) and youāve got a really messed up bag of guys out there.
They either are horrible humans overall, or are just oblivious to what it means to be a normal person, or are in their own headspace and donāt understand why others arenāt thinking like them, or have fallen deep into weird religious and/or political movements that pins them as the victims.
In short: no, men are not okay.
May 24, 2025
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Not going to write another out of touch thinkpiece about how Rogan corrupted the youth since everyone with a Substack has beaten that dead horse already. Speaking from personal experience, I am okay, in that I am content with myself, and donāt think that anyone (especially women) owes me anything. I tend to keep sane company so I can say relatively the same thing about a majority of the male friends I keep, but men as a whole, in America? Nah. Too many men who think therapy is gay and have that grifter hustler Mister Moneyspread mindset.
I have zero clue how you could solve the issues men face today, but do think a good thing would be for men to stop idolizing scammers and grifters. That shit not cool, no one should strive to scam, and yet we have an entire genre of men who make it their entire career to scam or get you into some crypto fintech startup thatās funny with the money. Thatās a terrible indicator of where men are now.
May 27, 2025
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And telling people about it! Iām spreading my gospel and trying to convert people.
Iāve had multiple friends confide in me that they are relieved to hear I donāt plan on ever being married because that takes the pressure off them and we can have each other once our other friends settle down.
I donāt like compromising, loud sounds, or sharing and I love independence and alone time so marriage really isnāt for me. Plus I have never experienced romantic attraction but dont tell anyone š¤«
Thereās so much pressure to settle down so as not to be left alone especially for women but it doesnāt have to be that way!
Feb 23, 2025
Top Recs from @bianca
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I think weāre all familiar with that nagging aching back pain from hunching over a laptop in the dark for hours on end. Other than massages which can get pricey and having a bathtub big enough to soak in, which is considered a privilege in this city, this is the next best method of keeping chronic back pain under control. I like to roll all the way down to my lower back and hold my legs straight up. Foam rolling and/or just lying on the floor instead of in bed or on the couch is my most preferred way of scrolling, whether itās for doom or pleasure. Thereās also levels of hardness you can move up once the smooth foam no longer hurts good enough. I think Iām ready for an upgrade.
Dec 6, 2022
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I was gifted a box of these pimple patches by @julie_schott and Iāve been obsessed ever since. Not to mention it was the Hello Kitty collab. Iāve suffered from dermatillomania (skin picking disorder) since middle school which falls under the umbrella of OCD. I used to have trichotillomania (hair pulling) but that just wasnāt visceral enough for me. Itās still a pretty intense source of shame for me but these are so fucking cute that it overrides my brainās compulsion to rip them off my skin and eat them. That's on behaviour modification purrrrr.
Dec 6, 2022
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Before you judge me just know I identify as an archivist and I would never share any of these raw files, theyāre purely for my ears only. According to my sources, (the voices in my head) one day Iām going to make a film or write a book or record an album. The voices havenāt told me which one. But I figure these recordings will serve as inspiration for all of the above and Iām convinced Iāll need them one day to write realistic dialogue or sample in some coded way that only I will understand. Itās never anything too salacious either, thereās just a certain magic to how candidly people speak when they donāt know theyāre being recorded. Whether itās a young couple breaking up on the subway platform, a life changing DJ set Iāll never hear again, or another painfully awkward phone call from my Dad after heās had too many beers. I feel compelled to archive it all. My lawyer suggested I not speak on it any further but for what itās worth New York is a one-party consent state which means most of these are totally legal and permissible in a court of law.
Dec 6, 2022