I turned 25 a few weeks ago and with it has come a sense of urgency to do everything I want to accomplish immediately. I also miss who I used to be before I really had to get a grip of my life. By “get a grip” I mean the years before my father was first diagnosed with cancer, before I cared (more) about societal expectations of being feminine and more about my interests, and I miss most of all the sense of having it all figured out. I was cringe and free! Then I turned 14 and my life took a hard left and stayed that way for the past 11 years. My dad died traumatically. I lost my faith and left the religion I grew up in. My mom and I had a falling out and we were mutually disowned by my dad’s family.
It wasn’t all doom and gloom. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree, the first in my family.
During it all though, I feel like I’ve lost myself. My grief is overwhelmingly the main theme of my life. I know many people are familiar with the feeling.
