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i was the first grandchild/cousin, oldest sibling, weird kid etc etc so i know how to make the most of time by myself. and i do value my alone time! but i am very sick of people telling me that i need to learn to enjoy time by myself when i express frustration in not having many friends close by and/or interested in the same things as me.
most of my friends are long distance or simply enjoy different things than me. and thats fine! but it’s also fine for me to want to go to a concert with someone or go to a museum and have someone to talk about the art with. also it’s ok for me to want a romantic smooch or a held hand every once in a while. it does not mean i don’t love myself it just means i am human!

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This is huge, even if somebody asks you to an activity that you may not have sought out on your own. For me it’s like okay I’ve never done that before and may never do it again, but I’m glad we get to do it together yippee!
2d ago
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@PEYTON_SR it’s really nice to step out your box but sometimes you need an outside force to help you make sense of the world outside said box. i love friends who push me to do new things <3
2d ago
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I also am the oldest cousin and sibling twinnnn
2d ago
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@OATMEALLUVR23 our inner work is never done
2d ago
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YES YES YES YES!! Heavy on the oldest in every capacity + odd kid out combo. im in the exact same situation, I already love myself I want to love others toooooo
2d ago
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@HSOJKA right like i perfected it guys let me try loving out on someone else
2d ago
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@HSOJKA LMAOO EXACTLY!
2d ago
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god i'd love a long yearning-filled kiss rn
2d ago
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100% with you. we’re social beings! we’re natural beings! and if there’s one thing that’s pretty damn foundational to ecosystems is a plurality of species/ interrelationships.
2d ago
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@LEONA thank you!! the notion that self love cures all truly goes against our humanity
2d ago
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<3
3d ago
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It's okay to have different friend groups. Seems like many people find it odd. My stand up comedy friends are different from my table top (D&D and such) gaming friends and they're different from my video game friends.. My IT pals.. My other couple friends. I've tried to mingle them together from time to time, but if it doesn't work out then it doesn't. I invite everyone to everything I do and have learned that it's okay if there's only one or two friends interested. At said events I just see it as an opportunity to make new pals who likes those sorts of things.
3d ago
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@BURN agreed! i have so many interests its impossible to find someone to tick off all the boxes but thats ok. i have different friends that i all love the same but the source of entertainment and convo changes depending on who im with.
3d ago
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re-rec !!!!!!
3d ago
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You always GET IT. I relate 100%
3d ago
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@VALOORIE u will find your ppl dw <3
3d ago

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I’ve had sprinkles of acquaintances and light friendships with people over the years that I sometimes feel bad about losing touch with. But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to keep in touch with everyone and still have time to care for yourself and your core people. I’ve tried to stop apologizing for that and just try to let people know I appreciate them from afar. I feel like the older I get the more intentional I have to be with my time and the more healthy boundaries I need to keep. It may disappoint some, but true friends get it, and there will always be an ebb and a flow as life changes. I also feel like social media has wired us to be so hyper-connected all the time and it’s stressful to live up to the expectation of staying in constant communication with everyone you’ve met and liked. Growing up is realizing you can like and enjoy the company of many people and you may not have the time or energy to extend to everyone you want. (And actually it’s also okay not to want to!) Not everything and every connection can stay the same and I need to constantly remind myself of that. I deserve to make space and time for myself so I can love my people better.
Mar 4, 2025
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I'm 25 and have never been in a serious relationship. In fact, the only time that I haven't been single was for two-ish months when I was 15. I'll go on a dates and hangout with someone for a month or so every 2-3 years but nothing ever comes out of. That's either bc they don't want anything serious or we just don't vibe together. To put the final nail in my coffin, I don't take dating apps seriously enough to find anything worth it on there too. It can be lonely, and I find myself occasionally doubting my worth to the world around me... But then I talk to people who are in relationships and hear the shit they have to deal with, and it's like an instant cure to all loneliness and self doubt LOL. I also just enjoy my time alone to be honest. I also lovvve love love having the whole bed to myself and my cat (he takes up enough room as is bc he loves to lay horizontally haha). I, along with everyone else who has ever existed, have problems that I want to work out in my life before I go out and actively search for a partner. When I need company, I have my friends to pour my love onto! I spend a lot of time with them doing things that are fulfilling such as community work, learning crafts, watching movies and discussing them. I will always save space in my heart to finding someone I love romantically, but for now I am focusing on having fun, building a good friend group, taking care of my mind/body/soul. I've accepted that the romance will come when I am ready for it.
Feb 27, 2025
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i see solitude as metamorphosis. you need that time in the cocoon to really check in with yourself and the joy of that comes from how you'll gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
sometimes i spend SO much time with myself that i get SO BORED that I HAVE to venture outside of myself. when i say venture, i mean challenging myself in how i self- express which will in turn, nourish my interactions with others when i choose to seek company.
proceeding to create art, but trying new methods. going down youtube rabbit holes of things i am interested in so i can discover new references. cooking a meal without following a recipe and surprising myself. making the space i am in super cosy (candles, snacks on deck, music, blankets) going on long walks and picking up conversations with strangers through shared observations of life around us. watching music festivals/boiler rooms and dancing around my room like a mad man.
once you feel comfortable in being by yourself, you'll be more aware of what you need from your company and when you seek it, you'll be a lot more intentional about it and cherish it even more.
Oct 7, 2024

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