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I was wrong about MJ Lenderman. I dismissed him at first thinking he was just ripping off David Berman. He's really good. That live version of "knockin" he does is so sick. Disco by surf curse is a good song. I don't care. I still fw Mac Demarco heavy. And I like TV GIRL too! I used to like him, then I saw him live in 2019 and wasn't impressed, but I like him again now. 2019 was the last year I cared about music. I want to care about music again. I'm tired of being 2kool4skool, none of this stuff matters. Life's too short.
What else? Astrology is real and I made a post about it last night but I deleted it because I got paranoid, but I still swallow my pride and concede that astrology is real. I'll make a second post asking about saturn return. My saturn return hit this past weekend. I'll make a second post asking about saturn return. My saturn return hit this past weekend
I'm gonna try The Artist's Way. I don't care that it's woo woo self help. I need to help myself and every single time I've talked to someone who dismisses things as "woo woo" I get the same impression I get from people who say that they don't like children and the elderly. Has anyone tried the Artist's Way? I'll make another separate post about it. BUt please feel free to talk to me here too.
May 30, 2025
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I enjoyed your astrology post but I can’t read charts so I didn’t know what it meant. I can’t comment anything substantive on the post itself about the artist’s way because I downloaded it and started doing my morning pages and then got embarrassed and disgusted at my own navel gazing and felt like it was a waste of time but that’s me being deranged and probably a sign that I needed it. I agree though I think being a hater about things and calling them woo woo is a sign that someone is like pathologically closed minded
May 30, 2025
@TATERHOLE sign this sign that… anyway I can’t say much about my Saturn return either except that I’m going through it and it low-key sucks having to address old deep seated issues!!! I’m going to go back to therapy again soon lol ☝️
May 30, 2025
@TATERHOLE god bless you taterhole 🫡🫡. good luck with your saturn return my friend. will let you know how the artists way goes
May 30, 2025
i had the same mj lenderman experience LOL i was almost pissed off to discover that he actually rules
May 30, 2025
@SNOOKICOIN i was so fucked up over it. to add insult to injury i found out that he not only looks very similar to me but also has the same first name as me. i was living that jack harlow lyric (who i also look a lot like). "the ones who hate me the most look just like me. you tell me what that means."
May 30, 2025
Related Recs
hello!!!! it has been ~1 week (wtv). lots of things have happened. most around me know very well that i made a cover of 104 Degrees by Slaughter Beach, Dog, on saturday, the 3rd. it’s released to youtube, link here! (its all the way bottom most likely)
it for sure came out of a spontaneous burst of creative energy, one that i haven’t really had time or effort to analyze how to replicate it again because in a sense i do feel unfamiliar with my own creativity. it happens, for sure, but why this time? i stickered my guitar, and felt more inclined to play it, that’s all that i know.
on top of that, i made a “music video” for the first time ever. it’s recycled out of footage on my sony cybershot in like 600x300, mostly some i took at a park in march, that day was special to me. it was the day i had early release, with the aim of enjoying a day to myself, with full preparedness and itinerary for a specific town. i’d go to eat ramen, enjoying my own company, go to a record store, (then vintage store), visit parks, and then go home. and it was really wonderful! i had so much time left over and, throughout my walk in the park i recorded footage for just ”something.”. it revealed its title later on during my creative burst.
to be really transparent, my first thoughts for the music video was to make a slideshow of a certain thing i did at my job a lot. for the first year at my job, everytime i got water from the fountain i forced myself to take a picture of the water fountain. I dont exactly know why i did this but there are many pictures of it, i thought at some point i’d might use a quick slideshow of them in ”something.”
But quickly as i realized nature was probably a better look for the music i was covering i just switched . maybe one day you’ll see the water fountain :)
i think i did great at the cover. it inspired me a lot, and did good wonders at feeling confident in what i am creating and being public with it to other people; i made my instagram public because i began to stop caring. now many more people even people i dont follow or an followed by can read this blog! wow!
on another topic i have met someone Very changing. it is hard to disclose every feelign and emotion i have but i “re-met” them last monday and since then we have been on an incredible bond and have talke alot…. we share similar quirks and interests and just general specific thought exercises that we put ourselves through. i’ve been understood before, but sometimes certain people can get to you more than others; not to their discredit though because novelty is very importnat and this person has it!!! they are incredbblyy talented at art and just have a very creative mind in general (no glaze :p).
with this new meeting, i feel like i‘m having a social life again. i’m learning to be okay with myself still, and this might feel soon, but i feel it’s for the best because i feel that i have progressed with feeling things the right way by myself. if i continue this path of self-tolerance or self-acceptance (not yet self-love, again that’s okay.), while also not being completely alone, i feel i will have a great outcome. balancing these two drives could lead to some true growth and i’m appreciative of this person coming into my life!!!! they are also very accepting of shortcomings i still have or have had in the past. it’s weird when someone new just accepts you as is because.. they don’t know who you were and weren’t there before. we’re also going to the same school which is crazy to think about!!! too much yap tbh let’s get to the music
at my last record store trip, i picked out 3 records dear to my heart; expensive but small:
LPs: Heaven or Las Vegas - Cocteau Twins
Ants from Up There - Black Country, New Road
CD:
Young Americans - David Bowie (JPCD)
i really was stuck this time. there were three BC,NR albums to pick from and i think i made the right choice of AFUT because of how long it is. for Forever Howlong, there is a blue and red version that i really dunno what i prefer yet; FTFT is a small record that i can get at a later date.
Finding Heaven or Las Vegas was genuinely such a score on my end. normally my record store keeps stuff in shelves and crates but that day i decided to look under the top shelves and crates and at the records only shown by their bindings. then i found it!!! i dropped FTFT and committed to it. finding the David Bowie CD was really nice; i got complimented for it by the owner bc the JP label adds a lot of character; also there’s a cover of Across the Universe on it. severely enjoy all my finds.
here’s what i’m listening to currently (by album):
Sports - Modern Baseball
Welcome - Slaughter Beach, Dog
Gem of the West - SENTRIES (my voice is on this record, still great nonetheless)
i hope if you’re reading this, you find peace within; in moments of anytime. feeling yourself let go even for a couple of minutes is an amazing feeling that, we really do forget a lot. but i hope you find those moments more, because i am the more that time passes. until next week!
May 7, 2025
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there is no rhyme or reason to my taste in music. when i say i listen to everything, i mean EVERYTHING
i am in no way, shape, or form good at music analysis. this is all based purely on vibes. i like music. how much do i need to explain?
-Currents by Tame Impala
the entire album. this is me getting into the psychedelic, dance type beat. and i really like it. it’s different but still similar to the pop that i typically enjoy. my favorites off the album are “Moments”, “Let It Happen”, “Cause I’m A Man”, and “The Less I Know The Better”. despite being this funky synth stuff, it’s all still super depressing. the lyrics are just like that. and as someone who has been deeply in her feels recently, this is exactly what i need.
and on a similar note,
-“Borderline” by Tame Impala
same gist as Currents. except this song is more about the stoner stuff (which i am not) but it’s still a bop. i love the funk i love the synth i love the lyrics and the overall vibe.
-“Here With Me” by d4vd
i think i found this one off of some indie playlist Spotify made (yes i know it’s also a TikTok song). but i really like it. it’s the perfect song to belt out and be sad i don’t have a partner to. it’s just one of those songs that hits you in the feels. and, again, lots of feels are happening lately. and with this one, i’ve got this crush i can’t shake, and this song definitely does not help it. but i still love to sing it and be delusional.
lol so i posted this song on my Instagram note and my best friend replies “ooooh who is this about?” and i go “no one unfortunately i just like the song 😭” and her response is just “😭😭😭”
-“(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” by The Rolling Stones
i play two The Rolling Stones songs and now my mom won’t stop calling me an ‘old soul’. but its among The Rolling Stones’ most popular songs, like?
but still, i like the older rock stuff like this. the guitar and the bass and the drums and the tambourine and the vocals are just peak.
granted i can’t really relate to the sexual frustration and commercialism, but do i really need to in order to like the song?
-“All Star” by Smash Mouth
slightly out of left field with this one, but as i said, my taste in music is all over the place.
we all know and love the alternative rock and power punk (yes i stole this right from Wikipedia) of the song. and this song ofc was part of my recent Smash Mouth binge…
but outside of the memes, this song is a bop. everything just works. it’s great.
i have no idea what the hell im saying cuz im shit at musical analysis but I LIKE THE SONG. DO I HAVE TO SAY WHY. WE ALL LIKE THE SONG SO WHY SHOULD I EXPLAIN WHEN THERES NO POINT
ok rant over. lol
i like music. i listen to a lot of it. and this all is kinda just to expose my music tastes because honestly, i have a pretty good taste in music if i do say so myself.
May 8, 2025
The new year has arrived. The same year I told myself and everyone with earssssssssS that I was going to use to change my life. I'll make music again, I'll take better care of myself, I'll stop working in hospitality. I hope I will do all that I've said, although my current unemployment has led me to have the job site search for barista sitting at the tips of my bored fingers.
How does someone who's been off stage for 4 years (basically 5) and totally out of the habit of practising, jump back into it? I don't have the answer to that but I intend to find out this month, what that is going to take.
For now, I will concentrate on inspiration. I'll listen to powerful female vocalists and see where I want to fit. I have no intentions to be famous or even known on a larger scale than a local open mic night. Music is my heart, singing is what feels like the core of my soul. I have gotten into the habit of distancing myself from the people and things that I love, strangely since I found the romantic love I was (some may say, desperately) searching for.
To honouring who I was and learning how to be who I've become.
Jan 8, 2025
Top Recs from @steelyfan1998
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sometimes you just need to read some real shit straight from the realest person you know .
Feb 24, 2025
Mar 4, 2025
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I LOVE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS I LOVE THE LIGHT I LOVE GOING FOR A HIKE AFTER WORK AND HOW WATER LOOKS IN THE WARM DUSK THANK YOU DAYLIGHT SAVINGS----- I HAPPILY SACRIFICE AN HOUR OF SLEEP COME THIS TIME OF THE YEAR WAKING TO THE SUNSHINE JABBING ME EYE----- IF YOU DON'T FUCK WITH DAYLIGHT SAVINGS UNFOLLOW ME I DONT FUCK WITH YOU----- THE GREATEST BETRAYAL OF MY ADULT LIFE WAS WHEN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA VOTED FOR PERMANENT DAY LIGHT SAVINGS ALL THE TIME AND THE COWARDS THAT RUN THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A STATE FAILED TO IMPLEMENT ETERNAL SUMMER
Mar 4, 2025